we have been dating for months, both in our 40's - are great friends & have now slept together, but he seems to have trouble with erec tions - first time was touch & go, second time no go - says it's him not me - says he's nervous because he has deep feelings for me - should i believe him or am i just not doing it for him? (p.s. he says he's crazy about me & i am attractive & in good shape).
2007-01-30 07:05:46 · 9 answers · asked by born_free_again 1 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
I have the same problem and I am in my 20's. Stress will make it difficult for a guy to sustain an erection. I am udner a lot of stress but I love my life and find her attractive (as she is).
Judge by your relationship. If you have an open and honest relationship, I'd take what he says at face value.
It probably is what it is.
2007-01-30 07:12:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He should not have this problem if he is crazy about you. I think you will both feel a little at ease if he see's a doctor. Something is not right here. If he was not like this in the beginning of the first week or two? It could be that his mind is else where. You both should seek help. If he refuses then he is not that crazy about you. He also may feel less attractive then you. Maybe is not happy with his appearence. Let him know more often that he is attractive and looks good too. Also try no lights at all in the bedroom next time. If there is a change for the better? Then you will know its because he is not happy with the way he looks.
Take care & good luck.
2007-01-30 15:49:16 · answer #2 · answered by X-Woman 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Erectile dysfunction is a real problem for men starting in their late 30s and early 40s. Your partner should consider an enhancement drug like Viagra or Cialis to help in that area. Still achieving and maintaining a good erection may not happen during each lovemaking session. When there is a droop, help him out. Try to stimulate him, take a break, do whatever it takes without adding pressure. Be ready for it to happen 1 out of 5 times, and when it does, don't make a big deal about it.
Oh, and try different times of the day. Late at night is often difficult...midday may work much better for him.
.
2007-01-30 15:16:27 · answer #3 · answered by non_apologetic_american 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he recently divorced? If he is then he most likely is having inner conflicts, if not then he is impotent and needs counseling .
Is he diabetic? You really did not give me much to go on but if any man is having erection problems at age forty , it could be physical or psycological. It's possible that if it's none of this, then he might feel pressure to perform ,and that could cause this.In all reality he is having a problem and it has now become yours. So
I would try to communicate with him and see what you can find out, otherwise bear with it and do not put pressure on him to perform. If you like him alot then you might want to let him know that all you care about is "being with him" and that might make him feel comfortable. Just convince him that you are happy to be in his company and that's all you are looking for right now. I think you'll see that it will solve the problem. If it does not then he needs to see a doctor. Good Luck.
2007-01-30 15:23:39 · answer #4 · answered by lorrina b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need more foreplay start in the kitchen or frontroom etc.tease a little to get him hot that will losen him up. Have 1-2 drinks to calm down than a little more foreplay and teasing do diffrent things you have not done unpredicitable to what he thought you would do. Sexually surprise the heck out of him.God Bless
2007-01-30 15:17:09 · answer #5 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's definitely not you. I think it just seems to be a problem for guys in their late 30's early 40's. He is probably just embarrassed. He should see a doctor. It could also be a psychological thing about 85% of everything is. Good luck!
2007-01-30 15:15:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
chances are he's telling you the truth. it's common for men who are nervous to have problems like that, especially those of his age. don't worry, it's not you! that's exactly what they make drugs like viagra for.
2007-01-30 15:15:25 · answer #7 · answered by LoriBeth 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
See DR. for Viagra. It will take care his problem.
2007-01-30 16:28:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe he is having sex with someone else and frequently.
try www.ReneRofe.com
2007-01-31 18:43:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋