Married Women: Are you "submissive" to your husband?

Question

My husband and I debate all of the time about the fact that he thinks that I am too pushy. I wouldn't say that I am pushy, but I am persistent. He is very laid back and I am very much a busy body. Before he even has a chance to initiate anything I am already all over it. I don't purposely do that, but I feel that if I want something done and want an answer right away it is important that I take the lead. His words is "he is not going to wear the dress" in the marriage. I feel that is somewhat chauvinistic, but according to the Bible the woman is the lesser vessel and the man is to be the head of household.

My husband believes that in a marriage the man is supposed to make all important decisions. He feels as if the husband should talk it over with the wife and take her opinion into full consideration, but the final decision should be made by the husband. In a way I have a problem with that. Ladies, are you submissive to your husband - in a good way that is?

Answer 1

Ok it sounds like you are religious so biblically the man must first submit to God before he can expect a woman to submit to him. Yes a woman should let her man be king, that doesn't make us less, it makes us women. We aren't equal, men and women will never be equal it's not supposed to be that way.
Look the best advice I ever got was to read the book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Laura Schlessinger. It makes you understand men clearly and gives you the tools to have your man treat you like his queen.

Answer 2

I am submissive to a certain point. I think that men shouldn't try and make all the decisions, decisions should be made and decided mutually because whatever decision is made affects both of you. I also think that just because you are the busy body is not anything wrong, and doesnt make him less of a man or something.

Answer 3

Speaking as a guy in a second marriage (now 18 years). Screw what the bible says. The way it has to work is on an equal basis. We make decisions together. We discuss important things together. What does "he doesn't wear the dress" mean anyway??? What a bunch of crap. But, you need not to be so overbearing and, he needs to re-examine what a real relationship is about.

If you don't live in the middle east where culture dictates exactly what is described in your question then you both are off base.

You won't be equal until and unless he quits demanding that you to be subserviant, and he can't be an equal partner if you never give him the chance to make a decision no matter how minor.

Don't let religion color the tone of your marriage. You and he have to take responsibility for that. Get a marriage counselor if all else fails.

Answer 4

Oh no. I am not submissive to my husband. We are both strong people and we respect that in each other. Any major decisions we discuss and come to a agreement on together. Some things I back down on and some things he backs down on.

Answer 5

Yep, I take the words of the Bible seriously, that is the way God wants us to live our lives. Thanks to the feminazi's, we are considered door mats or push overs because we know where our place in the home is.

I don't drop everything and do what he says, he respects that. Whenever I get time I do it. He needs to be considerate of your feelings too. The more I give, the more I receive and that is the key to our good marriage. There is a difference with a man being the head of household and a control freak. Don't listen to all the feminazi's and liberal women, they seem to think that they are the sh*t and should have everything handed to them and to have no man "run their life." Like I said, big difference between head of household and a control freak. Do what the Bible says.

Answer 6

I have the ultimate "Alpha Male" at home.............he and I both assume traditional male/female roles. We are both Catholic, this has been the way we were both raised.

This is not to say he does not consult with me on family affiars. He loves me and trusts me, he values my imput.

When a problem arises, he is quick to fix it. He is strong, and aggressive. He does not like to be nagged or yelled at by anyone, much less a woman.

I feel safe with him and I love him. This works for US, but it may not be everyone's way. We both believe it is God's way, so we try to live our lives for HIM, and each other.

Good question, by the way!

PS...want to add one more thing, the woman is not the "lesser" vessel, she is the "weaker" vessel........and man is instructed to protect her. And love her.

Answer 7

I am on his rights. For us, we play by the traditional rules of marriage. The wife is the leader of the house and raising the children. While the husband is the one that goes out and provides for the family. It is for us a perfect arrangement. Even though he is Egyptian and I'm American it causes no problems cause my views are the same as his. He makes the decisions and I get an opinion. He is very fair though in his decision making.

Answer 8

A marriage is a partnership.You should make decisions together.By the way why would someone independant like you marry someone controlling like your husband?You had to have known it would be this way.

Answer 9

Equal..there's always give and take in a relationship. When it comes to his business, clients, employees...I pretty much stay out of it. He knows more about it than I do.
When it comes to the household, kids, investments, bills...that's mainly my thing.
We are both willing to take suggestions.

Answer 10

Not at all. We are equal, we talk, we discuss things. I am a very aggressive person, I run a company and so do not take easily to being told what to do. And my husband trusts me, he knows that I am very capable and I get things done. He knows my judgment is sound, just as I know his is. We are partners, true partners in everything.