I have a decent relationship with my late husband's siblings. Closer now then before. My relationship with his mom especially is 'strained' since his death. She has never made me feel that she aknowledged mine and my children's loss because 'he was her son'. My Fiance is accepting of them and I think they are trying to accept him but in the beginning my late husband's mother was pretty upset about me even dating. It has been over 4 years since my husband died. I have 2 small children. I am afraid she will make a scene or the focus will go to her(being sad) on my wedding day.
2007-01-30 06:15:34 · 18 answers · asked by seven 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's your day...Keep them away...it will just add underlying tension for everyone at the wedding. Good Luck!
2007-01-30 06:19:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with inviting them to the wedding. I think the family that have been supportive of your new husband to be should be invited. Though death is always a sad thing, but maybe inviting those who will not be hurt by you remarrying might heal some wounds and know that you are moving on in your life, but it reflects the past with them being present.
Just know that not all will agree, some may never understand. But in the end it is what is in your heart that matters most.
2007-01-30 06:22:09 · answer #2 · answered by Krystal L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is YOUR day . This is a marriage and a beginning of a NEW family. invite those who will continue to be a part of and a supporter of your new life . If your deceased husbands mother is still grieving for the loss of her son This is her right. Send a letter explaining that you understand her loss and that you completely accept her inability to feel joy at your new union. Tell her that you do not wish to alienate her from her grandchildren and that the grandchildren will be able to visit her as often as they like at her convenience. This will help to build a bridge between your children and the mother of their father, and also prevent some of the anger and feelings of neglect that are so often a problem when trying to build a new family.
2007-01-30 06:39:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wedding day is about the two of you. If you really want to invite her you could make it clear that you will not tolerate any behaviour that spoils your day. If your relationship with her is already strained you have little to lose. Alternatively, you could first discuss your concerns with your late husbands' siblings. They may have a better insight into her mindset, or she may have confided how she feels. If she can't accept your new husband, maybe it's time to move on and just stay in touch with the siblings. After having lost your first husband so young, I wish you lifelong happiness with your new husband.
2007-01-30 06:26:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say invite them, but let them know the circumstances. Perhaps let her know how she's made you feel in the past. I just know it would show a big sign of disrespect to not even at least invite them to come. But have a one on one with your mom-in-law and let her know what's been runnign through your mind since your husband has passed. It's not fair to you to keep all these emotions bottled up when you've also suffered a great loss. A husband can be just as important as a son. btw - so sorry for your loss. so glad that you have found happiness again! enjoy it to the fullest!!!! CONGRATS ON THE WEDDING!!!!
2007-01-30 06:22:01 · answer #5 · answered by msdrdn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. But you need to invite her. Try talking to her before the wedding to make sure she knows that this doesn't mean you don't love her son anymore. Try talking to her about your concerns and the way your feeling. For all you know, you may invite her and she just doesn't come. I'd try doing that. Because she is part of your family even though your husband passed away. But I do understand your concerns. I would have them to. I just know if I was in your situation I'd try talking to her. That's probably the best you can do for now.
2007-01-30 06:31:15 · answer #6 · answered by gi_jane_kicks_ass 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you change the question slightly, you'll get your answer.
Instead of thinking of late husband's mother and siblings, make your decision on your children's Grandmother and Aunt's/Uncles. I'd say yes if they are involved in your kid's lives - no if they are not. Put the kids first. If Grandma starts to be sad, ask one of her kids to remind her that the grandkids come first.
Of course, I don't know how big the wedding is or his family's size.
Good luck and I hope you find happiness in your new marriage. Your kids deserve the best.
2007-01-30 06:24:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your (you and your fiance) day. You shouldn't feel worried about how your ex-mother-in-law will react. I'd invite the siblings only if you really are close to them. And see what say about their mom. Just keep the focus on your new family and making yourselves happy. Best of luck and congrats to you all.
2007-01-30 06:32:10 · answer #8 · answered by parodyqueen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. even though you have children I would say no. why? because the only thing that keeps you close to your late husband's family is your kids and nothing else. if you are not really really close with them, you shouldnt invite them because you are going to remove the past and you might hurt people's feelings. you need to focous on your new life with your new man. if they go to your wedding you will be worried about them all the time and you wont enjoy your wedding!!!! you need to learn to separate things!
2007-01-30 09:14:29 · answer #9 · answered by chikis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not feel obligated to invite them. It sounds like it would actually be pretty hard on your mother-in-law.Just write her a little note telling her that you hope she understands that you will not forget her son just because you are getting remarried and that you hope that no matter what she remains a good Grandmother to your children.
2007-01-30 06:21:30 · answer #10 · answered by Angela C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off, congrats! In my opinion, dont invite them. It's your special day. I dont know her or you but from what you said I can just see the attention and all eyes on her as you walk down the aisle. Save the drama and have a great wedding. You deserve it!
2007-01-30 06:26:22 · answer #11 · answered by smilingthru_life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋