A few questions for the married women out there that have thought about having one (I’m sure during a long marriage there’s always at least one other person you couldn’t help flirting with. Goes for both men and women). When you have flirted or thought about cheating, did you displace that mistrust you broke onto your husband? For instance, if you flirted and thought about it did you come home, look at your husband, and then think he was doing the same thing and start to mistrust him or accuse him of flirting or cheating? Also, if you didn’t cheat or even think about it, have you ever just been paranoid and accused your partner of cheating when you had no basis for it? Seems to me the only reason you would accuse your partner of it is if you’ve done it in the past with a previous partner or are thinking about it yourself.
2007-01-30 05:48:20 · 11 answers · asked by golf4everdude 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In my world, "married wife" and "affair" don't go together.
2007-01-30 05:57:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In alot of situations, the person doing the accusing is doing the cheating. Flirting is normal. And fine. But it can not go beyond that. And if you are having trouble trusting the person your in a relationship with, maybe there is more going on. And maybe you should seek marriage counseling or try talking this over with your mate to find out why your questioning their faithfulness. Just make sure your not accusing them because of your impure thoughts. Because that's just mean and not right. Don't accuse unless you have actual reason to doubt.
2007-01-30 14:03:40 · answer #2 · answered by gi_jane_kicks_ass 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'v never thought of cheating with my husband, although I did think of it with previous boyfriends, but never did it. I came pretty close once though. I am normally a jealous person whether I project my feelings of being attracted to others or not. I am just jealous and think that most women would have the hots for my husband. However, when I was specifically attracted to another person, yes sometimes this would make me ever MORE jealous of my husband and other women, because I would see how easy it was to be attracted to someone else.
2007-01-30 13:53:48 · answer #3 · answered by stripedbook 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The start of mistrust is when you were given a reason not to trust. Flirting is casual as long as you go home and look your partner in the eye without guilt and that no actual cheating has taken place(kissing and intimate touching).
2007-01-30 14:10:27 · answer #4 · answered by mareko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In No Way do a wives accusations come from experience...
In my case, I have been married 10 + years. We're in our early 30's and we have 3 kids.
My hubby works 40 hours a week, I'm a housewife/stay at home mom...
I have accused my husband MANY times...
And this is why:
He stopped wanting me
He stopped taking me to dinner
He stopped wanting a quickie
He stopped telling me I looked nice
He stopped complimenting my food
His golf games were not of 5 hours but that of 10 to 12...
He was constantly drunk with his buddies
He only came home to eat, sleep and shower
He bragged to me about women at work
He stopped inviting me places
He stopped calling me at lunch time
He forgets my birthday, our anniversary, etc...
He does not make goals with me
He does not give me $ to get my nails done or do what I want or need
He leaves me sit w/ 3 kids and no adults EVER and it sucks because sometimes moms really need the intimacy and love that only her hubby can bring.
He cheated on me by the way...
It devestated me and he rubbed it in my face.
5 years later, we still have problems that he has chose to ignore.
And yes I still accuse him and he still tells me I'm repulsive and he slams the door to play a round of golf...
Of course, I would accuse him. Look at his history, look at all the above signs.
I have NEVER cheated. I have NEVER thought of cheating.
But I did tell him I did after he did just to hurt him. (But that's me & yahoo's lil secret!)
Wives accuse when we feel threatened.
Pay attention and COMMUNICATE, that's all I can offer...
Good Luck.
2007-01-30 14:16:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU ARE SO CORRECT!! YOU SEE CHEATING IS LIKE A VICIOUS CIRCLE FIRST EITHER PARTNER DO IT, THIS BRING A WHOLE LOT OF TROUBLE IN TO THE MARRIAGE AND THEN THE SECOND PERSON IS MOST LIKELY TO DO THE SAME JUST FOR THE SAKE OF REVENGE... AFTER THE TRUST IS BROKEN IS ALWAYS THE SAME LIKE YOU SAID, THEY GO OUT FLIRT OR THINK ABOUT CHEATING, AND THEN GO HOME AND FIGHT AND ACCUSE OF WHAT THEY THINK EACH OTHER ARE OUTTHERE DOING... IT JUST PATHETIC BUT IS REAL.. I THINK MARRIED PEOPLE SHOULD ALL BE IN COUNSELING... LOL MY SELF AND MY HUSBAND INCLUDED....
2007-01-30 14:06:28 · answer #6 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about me? My husband has been emotionally abusive for the bulk of our marriage...withholding intimacy for the past 13 years. We are finally divorced (thank GOD!) and I am starting lfe the way it SHOULD be. And YES, I did finally have an affair in the past year, justifiably so. When you're driven to it....what choice do you have???
2007-01-30 14:15:37 · answer #7 · answered by Evil Wordmonger, LTD LOL 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I don't have that problem.
I trust him completely, and he trusts me all the way.
Only way to have a great relationship instead of a mediocre one, or a bad one.
2007-01-30 13:54:27 · answer #8 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds true to me. I always was faithful, and never thought my husband was unfaithful.
2007-01-30 14:02:18 · answer #9 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no.
if that happens to your wife, she will not care that much about what you are doing. She will be too busy with her fantasies to be thinking of your cheating.
2007-01-30 14:41:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋