am in relationship with a guy who i met at my work place, he is 15 yrs older then me , two months back he proposed me till then i didnt know he is divorced having a 17 yrs old daughter i came to know all this through my family when i asked him why didnt he tell me he said he didnt want to loose me but he did mention he want to tell me some important stuff but before that am being informed. my family has a problem with him now because of age n hiding about his divorce n daughter,i didnt actually much cared about his divorce n daughter but nowadays am really confused whether to marry him or not as he asked me again?
2007-01-30 05:41:15 · 13 answers · asked by amina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your family is right- they guy lied to you and you should care about that.
2007-01-30 05:46:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take your time. It sounds to me that committing to marry him would be a rash decision at this moment. I'm not sure how long you have known him, but it would certainly make sense to me that you would have known about his prior marital situation BEFORE he ever asked you to marry him. The age difference is not such a big deal, IMO, as long as you're on the same page about having kids and family (being that he's older and already has a daughter, he may be reluctant to have any more children, this is something that needs to be discussed and addressed). I was married to a guy who was 16 years older than I, it has never been a problem. We're divorced, but for reasons that had nothing to do with age. Once you're out of your teens, someone in their 30s can be just as good a match for you as someone in their 20s.
I would get to know this person better. Yes, he waited to tell you about his daughter, but perhaps he wanted to make sure first that things with you were going well, and that you would be receptive to the facts about his past. It may be a difficult thing for him to admit to someone he doesn't know well. I wouldn't rush to conclusions about his integrity based on this fact alone - but further observations will hopefully tell you more about him.
2007-01-30 06:10:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of times when we are 'in love' we are blind to people's faults. It might be easy for you to overlook the whole divorce and daugther, but if you examine it for what it really is, he lied to you. So what other things could he be lying to you about, what other things is he willing to do to "not lose you"??? You don't have to marry him either, tell him that you aren't ready for such a serious decision, that you prefer to keep dating for a while to get to know him better. Maybe over time you will see if he really is a good guy, or he may start lying and sneaking other stuff. You should really listen to your family, unless they are in the habit of just making your life hard for the fun of it, they can 'see' what your love is blinding you to, and they have your best interests at heart. They don't want their daughter, sister, married to a deceitful liar, with who knows what kind of baggage....ex wife and stepdaughter can be serious baggage.
2007-01-30 05:53:30 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is he doing with a girl 15 years younger than him? And how old are you? It doesn't sound like you're mature enough at this point, based on your grammar and spelling. Your family has every reason to be worrisome of this guy, especially since he wasn't open enough to announce he was divorced and has a child. Are you ready to be a step-mom? Are you ready to have to deal with an ex-wife? You need to seriously think about these things before you say "I do."
2007-01-30 05:47:52 · answer #4 · answered by Shannon L - Gavin's Mommy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't marry him. Age has nothing to do with this. If he hid his divorce and child from you, what else is he hiding. Think about it, if he thought that he was going to lose you if he told you, then he must not know the person you really are. I would talk to him and let him know that from this point on you have to be truthful with each other. If you catch him in another lie, then kick his butt to the curb.
2007-01-30 05:50:30 · answer #5 · answered by Jaime A 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont know how long you've known him......OR in fact if you really do KNOW him. NEVER feel that you must make a decision when you're confused. Or when you feel pressure to do so. All good things take time and planning. There is no need to accept his proposal for now. + Please consider your families opinions, as well as your age difference. Love alone does NOT cure all things.
2007-01-30 06:04:07 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like problems down the road to me.
2007-01-30 05:54:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-01 21:45:37 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His withholding information isn't a good sign. I'd suggest you move on. If he's doing that now (at his best), then what can you expect in the marriage?
2007-01-30 05:48:41 · answer #9 · answered by Faith 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get to know him a little better, before you commit yourself to someone you thought you knew.
2007-01-30 05:53:44 · answer #10 · answered by sissy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋