I used to be roommates and best friends with this woman. We are both the same age (mid-20s), and at the time I thought she was a great person. However, after a year of living together, I started to realize she's really just selfish and manipulative. She's the popular girl from HS who always knows how to get what she wants and doesn't care who she has to trash to do it.
After she suddenly decided to move out from our apt. and move in with her boyfriend of about 2 months, and left me scrambling to find a new roomie, she and her new "best friend" trashed me as badly as they could in a very public manner. I cut her out of my life completely, and was a better person for it. She kept sending me e-mails, trying to act like we could be friends again, but I didn't bite.
The problem now is, we have one mutual friend who is a very close friend of mine for years. Through this friend, I'm still hearing about her manipulations, and she's using this mutual friend to get to me. What to do?
2007-01-30 05:34:18 · 20 answers · asked by Sophie832 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Be honest with your mutual friend. Tell her you've had a falling out with your old roommate and you'd rather not talk about her or hear about her anymore. If she really is your friend you will be able to get her to agree to this.
It might take your friend time to learn not to mention her though, so try to be patient. A gentle, "let's not talk about her" when her name comes up with serve as a reminder until she gets used to it.
If she INSISTS on talking about your old friend then you should get up and leave. If she continues to insist on multiple occastions guess what - you need to dump her too because that is also manipulative behavior.
Good luck.
2007-01-30 05:42:47 · answer #1 · answered by Queen of Cards 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. this gal really wrote the book on emotional abuse & blackmail. You were smart to cut her out of your life,(good thing, you learn fast). What to do about the mutual friend? Best thing is not to drop to the level of your former roomie, because she will eventually trash some one else soon, and your friend will see this gals true colors. If your friend has known you for years, she knows the kind of person you are, just ask her not to talk about the roomie to you, keep ignoring the emails, change it if she won't stop, you are to smart to let her get to you again.
2007-01-30 05:50:02 · answer #2 · answered by Kimberly H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feel good about yourself. Why? Because she is so pathetic and has no life of her own that she feels the need to talk about you. People with no lives do this. They are so miserable with their own pathetic existence that they try to make everyone around them just as miserable. Ever heard of misery loves company? Well, its 100% true. The worst thing you can do to her is ignore her. It will eat her alive! Just laugh it off and say “Is her life so unfulfilling that she gets her kicks talking about me?” Make her talk about you even more and laugh about it. Laugh because you are special! When people take time out of their lives to talk about you, you should feel damn special. As far as your mutual friend, tell her that you rather not talk about that other girl. That you have nothing more to say to her or about her and she needs to move on and get a life. I’m sure your mutual friend will have no problems relaying the message. If she keeps yapping, just dust yourself off and keep it moving. I’d kick her butt but that’s just me. You may not be the violent type but I am, lol. Good luck, hope I helped.
2007-01-30 05:51:18 · answer #3 · answered by SexyMommy2B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kindly tell the "go-between" friend that you do not want to hear anything more about this other so-called friend.
If she continues to cause trouble for you, place an ad in a public local paper stating that anyone knowingly slandering you will be taken to court. It might work.
Write the other "friend" a letter. Tell her you do not appreciate her slander of you. Tell her, since she chose to leave your life, you no longer consider her a friend and want nothing more to do with her. Tell her you don't want to put your mutual friend in the middle of this matter for you don't think it's fair to your mutual friend. Tell her you would appreciate if she would stop telling lies and trying to cause trouble. Tell her to grow up and get on with her own life.
Good luck!!!
2007-01-30 05:49:58 · answer #4 · answered by Nepetarias 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ignore any circumstances that involve this former friend. Her manipulation only continues as people play her game. She can't manipulate you, if you avoid any of her stragedies. She will try to manipulate through your mutual friend. I would have your mutual friend know that you don't want to know anything regarding your former friend. That is your past and you want to keep your friendship based on your friendship alone without including the former in any of it. If your mutual friend can't respect these wishes of yours, then she must become former too, cause it will be just a big game that will only lead to fustration ,doubt and mistrust. Goodluck!
2007-01-30 05:39:34 · answer #5 · answered by Shannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell this mutual friend that I really am not interested in what the other friend has to say. Explain to the mutual friend that you believe your life can be happier without all the drama the other friend provides. You still want to keep the other friend, but make it clear that involving you in the drama- in any way- is unacceptable.
2007-01-30 05:41:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of the mutual friend as well or tell the mutual friends that you don't want to hear about this old bad friend
2007-01-30 05:38:36 · answer #7 · answered by jim 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the one thing that I can tell you from experience is-you need to talk to your friend. If your planning on still her as one you need to sit down and talk to her about the situation. Tell her that if shes going to try to be the middle person that you dont want to hear anthing about that other girl. And that when you and her talk she shouldnt be going back to her and telling her what you both talk about.
I hope shes not being two faced to you too.
Good luck!
2007-01-30 06:45:45 · answer #8 · answered by Diana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simple tell this mutual friend how u feel about the ex roomie and that u would like it if she/he didnt talk about or bring this ex roomie up around u. dont just delete any emails from ex roomie
2007-01-30 05:41:48 · answer #9 · answered by BETH K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mutual friend you dont want to hear one word about her. She sounds obsessed with you and thats very weird. She must think she is still in high school.
2007-01-30 05:45:58 · answer #10 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋