I Love my man but he just doesn't show affection or romance. Also there is this guy that treats me like a queen. I have been with my man for 4 years and I don't know what to do. I come to work for 9 hours a day and go home cook and clean. He will not ask me how was my day or try to help with anything. On my day off I wash clothes and he will not even go with me to the laundro mat. WHAT SHOULD I DO?????????????????????????
2007-01-30 04:23:14 · 17 answers · asked by Hazel 1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You know man has a problem with some situation. maybe he's not that showy... and some man they already assume we dont need help from them like doing the dishes or laundry. you need voice out in a good way so that he can understand, if he don' change you know what to do...
2007-01-30 04:42:12 · answer #1 · answered by the choosen1 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you married to this man or just shacked up?
First off, Do you show him the same respect you ask for? When he comes in do you give him a kiss and ask him how his day was? Or does he just come home and you start in complaining about how bad the day at work was and now you have to come home and cook HIS meal and clean HIS home and wash His laundry and you really wish he would get off his lazy duff and start helping you. Try an experiment. For 2 weeks, don't complain to him. When he comes home say, "hi Honey, how was your day?" greet him with a kiss. Refrain from bringing attention for all the things you have done. Compliment him on something he has done. You know like, "Thanks for washing the car" or "the lawn looks great, I am so glad that I have you around to take care of that for me" Whatever it is, just be nice, upbeat and happy for two weeks. Find at least one thing each day to compliment him on. No Nagging, just do your thing. But don't tell him, that you are changing your attitude, just do it. You may see a huge change in him, if you simply change your attitude.
It could be that he is just not an affectionale person. If that is the case, then at the end of your experiment, if his attitude does not change, then you will see who he really is. Don't expect him to be someone he is not. If you can't handle that is who he is, then maybe it is time to move on. If you are not married, that should not be too difficult. If you are married, then maybe you should work a little harder. If there are children involved, then you need to do what it takes to be stay together for the children. He is not abusive or dangerous. And for goodness sakes, if you are not married, (which I doubt you are because you call him your man, and say you have been together and not married), if you decide to stay together, then GET MARRIED. Quit pretending that you are. If you want a man to respect you, then you should respect yourself by not allowing him to treat you like his unpaid prositiute and live in maid. Make him show you respect by marrying you.
I think that an attitude change on your part, can make a huge difference. If not, then re-evaluate your situation.
2007-01-30 12:57:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship is not 50 50. Its 100 100. Are you giving your all to your man? Yes, you may feel like you are the only one doing anything around the house,but, are you putting everything else before him? He may be feeling the same way. Of course you will find every bad quality in your man now and compare him to the man who treats you like a Queen. I think you need to focus on your relationship now if you really love this man! Did he treat you like a queen when you first started dating him? The grass isn't always greener!
2007-01-30 13:14:09 · answer #3 · answered by abananna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let him know that unless he starts treating you like the woman he loves and not like a maid, that it's over because there are plenty of men out there that would appreciate you. Let him know that it is important to you that he care about how your day went. (Do you ask him about his day) you know, the attention has to come from both of you. Explain to him that if he wants a maid to cook, clean and do laundry for him, he should hire a maid, he would probably miss the sex though. If you continue to let him get away with this without letting him know it bothers you, how will he know that it does bother you? Give him a chance, if you've been together for 4 years, there must be enough love left there to want to at least try to fix this before getting a new man. Good Luck!
2007-01-30 12:45:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
The only advice I can give is make sure you leave your current man if you are having the urge to be with this man that treats you like a queen. That is the only fair way to go about it. Cheating only hurts everyone involved in the end.
As for this new guy...how long do you think this treatment will last? Did your current man treat you like a queen in the beginning? I'm sure the new guy will not treat you like this forever once your newness to him wears off.
2007-01-30 12:33:08 · answer #5 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's time for couples counseling. Right now, you are on the road to an affair; stop and take some time to assess your situation. Have you talked to your man about your frustrations? Have you asked him for help around the house and at the laundromat? Has he said no? If that is the case, why are you still in the situation? If the answer is financial, take the time to assess what you can do to make your finances better; that way, you can get on your feet financially. If it's emotional, ask yourself why you deserve to be emotionally starved. You are worth more than this situation. Step back and take a cold, hard look at your situation; the man who treats you like a queen, for instance. Are you grasping for someone who will love you? Find the strength within to love yourself, and go from there. Good luck and God bless.
2007-01-30 12:40:04 · answer #6 · answered by Judy W 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
What kind of guarantee do you have that the new guy will treat you like a queen after 4 years?
Long term relationships can get boring and routine. It takes work to keep them exciting.
Talk to your man. Practice what you preach. If you want him to treat you like a queen, treat him like a king!
2007-01-30 12:33:17 · answer #7 · answered by katydid 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you already know what you want.
This other man that treats you like a queen -- where is that? Have you acted on that? If you have, then you have already made the decision. If not, have a talk with your man and let him know that you aren't happy with the current situation and see if he wants to work things out.
2007-01-30 12:33:52 · answer #8 · answered by I_Love_Life! 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Leave him. Sounds like he wants a maid, not a partner. Also, it could be that he's got another woman on the side. I would leave this guy and just go it alone for a bit to be sure that the other one, who treats you like a queen, is not like the present guy. People can change and just be the independent woman and date, but don't commit.
GL
2007-01-30 12:40:53 · answer #9 · answered by Boo Boo Head 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
WAIT A MINUTE!!!! You didn't say if you are married or not!!! If you are married, you should tell him your needs or get to counseling, but know this first: Many men are just like what you are describing; it just doesn't cross their minds, because those are not THEIR needs. But you don't go breaking up a marriage over it!!! If you are not married, do whatever you want, but know this also: Many men treat women like queens when they are not committed to them, and then, after the committment, they get slack because it's not what they are really like and they were just trying to "woo" you before.
2007-01-30 12:39:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋