i need advice on convincing my 9 month old to sleep on his own. can anyone please help with this?

Question

i know that we spoiled him by bringing him to bed with us. but, it only started because we would fall asleep ourselves sometimes while trying to put him to sleep. this was when he was a NB. then, he started sleeping just fine on his own, except he liked to sleep in the car seat. that's not so uncommon. when he didn't like the car seat anymore, he still did fine on his own. then he would wake when my husband was getting ready for work. so, i figured it was only an hour & a half until he needed to be up, i would bring him to bed with me. then it started to be sooner & sooner that he wanted to come to bed. mainly because of all the hoilday vacations we took in the past few months. he would sleep with us at the hotel, because it would be very cramped with a dog, a playpen & luggage. we didn't stay at the hotel but a day on the way there, & a day on the way back. but this was for all of the trips. (4) now, he will go to bed at about 6:30/7 o'clock, but wake up between 11 & 2 to be w/ us.

Answer 1

aww let the poor little thing sleep with you before he grows up and you wish he was little again and sleeping with you.

Answer 2

Well, you are right, you kinda already set the stage, but he's a young pup and can be taught new tricks. Try keeping him up an hour later, then when you tuck him in for the night, give him verbal assurance of your love, tell him he is safe, that you will check on him and see him in morning, wish him sweet dreams with a gentle kiss. Then stick to your word, if he cries, reassure him in a patient manner, tuck him in again and leave the room, each time wait longer to check on him, in a short time he will adjust to the change and your husband and you can enjoy intimacy and each other again. Crying doesn't hurt them and is a healthy stage. Remember, you are in charge, be patient and gentle. It takes time an effort on your part.

Answer 3

My 8 month old nephew is just like that and the doctor said to let him cry untill he falls asleep. My best friend made the same mistake of letting her son sleep with her and had a hard time breaking that he was 4 before he slept on his own!!!. Just try and let him cry himself to sleep at night.

Answer 4

who is in charge here? the kid or the parent? if it is the kid - let it continue to sleep with you as per his/her wish! if the parent happens to be in charge - which seems to be happening less and less in this day and age - put the child in the childs bed in the childs bedroom and teach it that that is where it sleeps and STAYS until morning! very difficult - but a good lesson so when the child grows up and needs guidance from the parent - they will have LEARNED that parents are often the boss! (or the decider?!)

Answer 5

Honestly my son has issues with wanting to sleep with us - it started when he was pretty young & had pneumonia - I had to hold him up to sleep. After that he just wanted to sleep with us every night.

What worked best for us is being consistent on what we wanted - for him to sleep in his own bed. So....when he gets up in the middle of the night, one of us gets up with him & takes him back to bed to tuck him in. It was several times the first few nights - and it was rough, but he gets it now - and even when he does get up he cooperates and goes back to bed.

If we waivered in our decision "oh just this once" it made the next night harder because he thought that if he threw a big enough fit we'd cave in....so I'd say just be consistent.

Answer 6

Watch this technique from "Supernanny". It works!
"Whilst this technique for getting your older child to stay in their bed at night time really tested these parents’ stamina, Ashlin eventually stops calling for mom to get into her bed and lets mom and dad have an evening alone."


http://www.supernanny.co.uk/TV-Show/Clips/Clips/Stay-in-Bed-Technique.aspx