Should I visit my mother in law this summer ?

Question

I have been married for almost 3 yrs - And never taken a summer vacation alone w/ my husband. My mother in law lives in Lebanon, stays in Paris every summer. She says she can not be alone, travel alone and demands my husband to stay with her. When we visit her, we have to follow her where ever she wants to go - go home when she wants - go to sleep when she goes to sleep. Otherwise she gets mad. The first year of our marriage I really didn't believe how serious this could be. Second year of our marriage her husband passed away. So out of kindness I stayed with her in Paris the entire summer and she treated me badly. I took her to US to stay with us for 3 months as my husband wished. She was rude - He was rude. we didn't have one hour for our self. We almost got divorce. Last summer I was pregnant and I refused to go. My husband wants me to tell him what I want to do: Stay in US with baby Or go with him for 3 weeks. And be alone with MIL for a week while he attends seminars

Answer 1

You should do what is best for you and your child. If that means staying home, then do so. In the meantime, your husband has some serious apron strings to cut. Why has he allowed his mother to control where/when you spend your vacations? Could it be that he wants you along to keep his mother busy and off his back? Your family (you and child) should be your husband's FIRST priority, not his mother.

Only he can do this, you shouldn't be in the middle. Good luck.

Answer 2

Oh no you should have taken care of this problem long ago !!! Tell him to tell his mother that if she wants to come to the us that is fine as long as she is respectfull and minds her manners . If she does not then she can stay in paris by herself . your husband obviously respects his mother alot more than he does you and you need to set boundaries as far as he and his mother go . Tell him if he wants to go to paris that is fine but you will not go as she has hurt your feelings enough times already . If he cannot understand that then maybe he should stay with mommy and you should file for divorce . good luck honey .