It's not okay.Hang in there, you'll be back soon. And thanks for being there for us.
2007-01-30 03:33:14
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answer #1
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answered by luckylindy0 4
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I would say YES. You know, think about this way. How would you feel, coming home all happy to see her, and there it was. A conversation on the internet involving a man, and YOUR WIFE. And, it's rated X. It doesn't matter, because one thing always leads to another. You say, hey, I'll talk to some random woman, that it! But it will always lead to more. But if you feel that it wouldn't bother you to see your wife doing the same, then talk to her FIRST! Make sure you are both on the same page. But I am sure she will be hurt. She is just as lonely as you, she is sitting there at home counting down the days, not cheating on you (and yes, I concider screwing on the net cheating. That's why my parents are divorced) But back to the point. My girlfriend was deployed last year for 375 days. She told me that in her unit out there, there were only 3 people that stayed faithful to their loved ones at home. Isn't that sad? If when you look at your wife, and you are not satified and happy, then tell her and do what you want. If you are trying to just pass the time, buy a book or a puzzle. My girlfriend liked Sudoko (sp?) Find something else to do. Take pictures for her. Hand write her letters. But always she remember, you are going home to her. You can control yourself. She loves you.
Be careful, and try to "keep it in your pants" ha ha. Trust that ring on your finger, you married her for some reason. And remember, if you do it... it will always haunt you.
2007-01-30 03:25:59
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answer #2
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answered by Veronica C 1
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I am not sorry to say that it's not okay at all. Just think about it like this, how would your wife feel about the whole situation? Would u think it's alright if she did the same with other males? The whole point of ur marriage with one another is the union of u 2 becoming one. Look at it like this, all the sex conversations and so forth, y not have them with ur wife? Marriage is a big thing and who would want their husband talkin 2 some other chick when he can b talking 2 her? I know time frames r different but u have 2 make sacrafices 4 one another b/c that is what love does...so, think twice about it n If u even had 2 ask if it's wrong then it's wrong. Oh n believe me there is plenty other ways 2 kill time then engaging in uncomfortable conversations with someone's wife or future wife than ur own...think about it ur in the military...God bless!
2007-01-30 04:10:16
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answer #3
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answered by Bring _Da_Light 1
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If you've talked to your wife and she's fine with it, yes. Do you have any problem with her doing the same with a guy?
To me, those are the two critical tests. If you don't pass those, then you shouldn't.
Cheating is what two people agree it is. For a swinger, having sex with another person wouldn't be swinging, but falling in love would. For some, just flirting would be considered cheating. For a polyamorous person, so long as everyone was aware of it and in agreement, having an affair with someone that wasn't your spouse would not be cheating, so long as the rules were maintained.
I know a couple who were polyamorous. The wife had an affair with another man, which was ok, but didn't use protection, which was considered cheating because it broke their rules.
2007-01-30 02:57:27
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answer #4
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answered by Radagast97 6
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Rule of thumb -- don't do or say ANYTHING you wouldn't do or say in front of your wife. Email is like a postcard -- you never know who might see it. Even if it never actually leads to infidelity, it could break your wife's heart. Respect your marriage vows: "forsakeing all others"! YES, this includes "chats" and online flirting!
I know a couple who divorced over email and "chats" where the husband (also deployed) never had an affair, but the accidentally discovered emails hurt her so much, she left him.
Your wife is lonely, too, but remember that she is busy keeping your home fires burning and waiting for you!!! Find another way to fill those "lonely hours" -- read a good book, learn a foreign language, play cards with the guys, work out. Write your wife a love letter, reminding her of all the little things you love to do together and will do again when you get home.
2007-01-30 02:56:54
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answer #5
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answered by Amy M 2
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I teach high school English, and this year I presented this very question to my students. My friend's husband was chatting and she found out. It destroyed their marriage.
My Seniors really thought hard about the question, and I was actually quite surprised with their answers, especially those of the young men. They all agreed 100% that chatting is cheating because in one way or another the intent is there. They also agreed that when a man or a woman gets into sex chats, there must be something missing from his or her relationship.
My friend was shattered when she discovered what her hubby was doing. However, she gave him another chance. Sadly, he had become almost addicted to the sex chats and either couldn't, or wouldn't stop. After twenty three years of marriage, they are now single and not very happy. You may want to reconsider getting wrapped up in that particular activity if you cherish your wife and relationship. Good luck to you! Annie
2007-01-30 03:44:12
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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Yes it is wrong, because you are setting yourself up. Right now, the both of you are so excited about you going home after deployment. Once you get home and the newness wears off and reality of the humdrum life sets in, you will start thinking about those exciting chats. Then you will be tempted one day when your wife is not home to start it up again. Before you know it, you will become hooked, start an emotional affair with someone. After that, you will want to meet with one or more girls and you will start an affair.
Please do not go down that road again. Your wife will be devastated. Not only that, it is a trap set up by Satan for you to fall into, so that he can destroy your lives and your marriage.
2007-01-30 03:41:05
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answer #7
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answered by janetrmi 5
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I am pleasantly surprised to see that the majority feels the same way that I do. This is like asking, " Isn't it alright to just 'try' a cigarette--just once? or try crack or -after all, I would never, never get addicted or anything like that". Well, all it takes is once, as we know.
You are walking a thin line here, even thinking about it. See--you tried it once already, and like it. This is how it begins...one step at a time. Pretty soon, you meet someone that seems to 'excite' you beyond belief and your wonderful wife and marriage is doomed. Stay away---no--run away. No good to be had from such things. You are not bad...you are just being tempted. Be strong, and save it for your sweet wife!
2007-01-30 04:23:01
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answer #8
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answered by Nisey 5
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First off, thank you for your military service. I appreciate your situation and the loneliness that you experience.
Let's flip your question and instead make it: Is it ok for my wife to have exciting, flirty, explicit chats with men other than me? What would your answer be? While this flirtation may seem harmless it is actually a form of infidelity. You are sharing parts of yourself, though not physical parts, with someone other than the person you have promised to cherish. Does your participating in this form of communication with other women show that you are cherishing your wife? While you are away in your military role is a good time to strengthen your personal integrity in your marriage thereby strengthening your marriage. You may be surrounded by other guys who are doing this or who would think it is just fine, but it's not. This form of communication is just one of the little ways that the fiber of a marriage can be eroded and the foundation of the structure of the marriage be effected. Flirtations of this kind can lead to fascinations, to infatuations, to daydreaming of liasons outside of your marriage, to the proliferation of lustful thoughts; all of which can end at the doorstep of eventual adultery which is a dagger to the heart of a marriage. Run from any kind of unfaithfulness in your marriage like it was the plague.. It is the wise thing to do. Good character is formed and strengthened in the kind of place that you are in right now while you are away from home. Good character is best judged not by what we do when people are watching and knowledgeable about our behavior but rather when we are not seen. Be the best you can be for both yourself and your wife. You won't regret it. Seek other ways to use your time. Get in touch with veterans organizations that might offer online services to those in the military, etc. I wish you the best.
2007-01-30 03:33:37
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answer #9
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answered by Blueblazer 2
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It would break her heart to here what you have been doing. Don't you have any girley mags? Although I believe you have no intent behind these chats, I think you should stop. Write your wife a steamy letter, send her a few e-mails that she will receive later. Talk to her the way you talk to these other women. She should be the only one on your mind, I don't care how much down time you have. Use it more constructively. I believe you are cheating , by sharing yourself in such an intimate way with other women.
2007-01-30 03:04:54
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answer #10
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answered by sweetpea 4
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umm yea you might want to stop having those chats that is cheating whether or not you tell your wife about it. the real thing is if she'll be able to forgive you. Like so many have asked would you like your wife to have sex chats with other men? If not, then why would you think it would be ok for you? You're not a higher, better person than her you don't get special privilages that make it right for you. if you do think its ok for her then by all means continue your conversations but just know that your morals and values kind of suck.
2007-01-30 03:04:29
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answer #11
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answered by Juhboo 3
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