What's a good way to raise my self esteem after a lifetime of problems partly caused by low self esteem?

Question

L

Answer 1

Think about your positive attributes:
1) You know enough about computers to find this website and post a question!
2) You know enough about psychology to realize your past need not anchor you to low self esteem, so you are trying to find a way to lift it by asking this question!
3) You are psychologically healthy enough to reach out to others for help (your social skills and attributes are healthy).

Best of luck to you. And remember: there are others who have been through the same thing, you are not alone; if they can survive and overcome their past, so can you! :)

Answer 2

There are many good self help books out there related specifically to self esteem. Along with these books, try to sit in a quiet place and list all the things you believe give you low esteem. Then do the same with things that give you high esteem. This is an issue that you are going to have to do some soul searching on. There comes a time when you have to say I've had enough. I want to feel good about myself now. You can talk to experts, psychologists and get every little piece of literature and information possible. Take it home and do "homework". Your the one with the power to break the chains of saddness and esteem problems. Good luck to you and let me know if there is anything else I can help with.

Answer 3

First of all, realize you are not special. Everyone struggles with self esteem at various times.

Focusing on your low self esteem is self indulgent. Realize that you are not different, you are like everybody else.

You deserve the same things as everyone else too. You deserve to feel good about yourself.

We all have the same needs, desires, and fears, to some degree.

But we also all have a finite number of heartbeats, and you don't know when your time is up. So you want to start enjoying happiness as much as you can.

Close the door on those who make you feel bad about yourself. Get rid of them from your life. If you are an adult, you are free, you don't have to let anyone ever hurt you again. You have the power now.

The messages in your head that tell you you're not good enough, that's just a tape that can be erased. You just need to record a new message over that old one, and you will start to believe it.

Write down 20 good things about yourself, in the form of:

I am.....

I am beautiful...
I am intelligent...
I am caring...
I am compassionate...

etc...

Make a list. Recite it to yourself several times a day until you have it committed to memory.

If all that doesn't work, subsidize your treatment with the latest pharmaceuticals, as recommended by a psychiatrist.

Answer 4

You need to get away from the people who make you feel inadequate. I always had low self esteem until we moved 4 years ago. The people who were our neighbours looked down on me for no good reason, I was ostracised and I felt very upset and demoralised. We decided to move to be nearer our son and his wife and I am now a different person! I'm respected and liked and I love it! When we go back to visit, our old neighbours can see a difference in the way I talk to them and it is making them
look at me in a slightly different way. I don't think they will ever really like me but now I don't care!

Answer 5

What you need to do is become aware of any time you put yourself down. This happens a lot more than you think. Whenever you have a negative thought, be aware of it and you will soon see WHY you have such low self esteem.

You see we can spend a lifetime feeding ourselves negative comments and we get used to it....so really you're listening to a lot of negativity and it's coming from you.

It happens for example mostly in our thoughts, eg. 'I can't.......'

You need to begin to challenge these thoughts as they are the core beliefs about yourself. But in order to challenge them, you need to be scientific and not emotional.

Think about the negative statement in your head and see if there is evidence to back you up, you will find that there is nearly always evidence that these beliefs about yourself are NOT true.

Many people rate themselves against others and so, some may say, 'I can't play the piano, I'm not clever' etc. But frequently, the person who says these kinds of things has never even had a piano lesson or never really tried to learn something.

Each day, listen to what YOU are telling yourself and then correct yourself with a more positive thought.

I hope this helps.

Answer 6

Always be positive. When my self esteem was bad, I was always putting myself down or thinking negatively about myself. I didn't realize that I was doing that until a friend pointed it out to me. Anyway, start watching how you think about yourself and think of your positive qualities and slowly your attitude will change. Good luck and remember that most people are not nearly as put together as they seem, everyone goes through the same junk in life. Some are just better at handling it.

Answer 7

i have the same situation, but i found these work for me
1. change your diet eat better foods.
2. body build. this works best for me it takes about 1 month if you go every other day, to start feeling better, as you get passed that pain-full period you will look forward to going.
3. dont take drugs thats if you do, your self esteem will be low
4. do some part time education. rewards are endless.
5. could be your job, if so do number 4 and change it.
low self esteem needs to be vented, so get down that gym take it easy

Answer 8

I think most women compare themselves with other women so I don't think you are alone with those feelings. What kind of reinforcement did you receive growing up? Was it more positive or negatively driven? I, myself, received a more "you can always do better" upbringing in that, no matter how good I did, there was something wrong. So, I never thought I was good enough because there was always one more thing. Another thing is one may focus too much on the negative aspects and not fully believe in the positive.

Answer 9

If you find out, let me know. I have the exact same issue as you. But not only have I got low self esteem, but I can be very selfish sometimes. I am also lacking a work ethic (hence the reason I am on here rather than being a good employee :-P ;-) ).

I guess the main thing I try to do is to not worry about what other people think. No matter how "wierd" you may think you are, there are people out there who will like you and love you for who you are. This was difficult for me at first, but then I figured out that real friends will like you just as you are. If they don't then they are not real friends.

Try to stay away from people who like to put you down. Sometimes that is hard, as I am put down at home a lot, and I can't move out right now. (can't afford it). Try to surround yourself with people who encourage you and help you to overcome obstacles. In my case, that is my bf, he is very supportive and loves me for me. He makes me feel like I can do things.

I also try to experience new things. This can be hard, as I have very little confidence in my abilities (other than like horseback riding). But when it comes to doing things in the real world, it is tough for me. As I am in college, I get to use an internship as a place to be in the real world, but where I am protected a little bit. It allows me to figure out what skills I really do have and that I may be able to learn new ones in a non-classroom setting.

Good luck...hope this helps. I know what a lousy situation it is to feel this way.

Answer 10

You can raise your self-esteem by reading positive thinking material and you can go shopping and buy you so me new gear. You will feel really good about yourself. Also try a new haircut or color. Change your room around this helps. Go away some where you've never gone and meet people. You will feel good. You can help someone out who need s help.