Am I setting myself up for failure?

Question

Tell me why I am in love with someone who is everything I DIDNT want in a girl. here's the list
SHE:
didnt graduate high school
had a child at a young age
has a deadbeat baby daddy
tends to over react
cant keep a stable job
has bad credit
Is a Yeller ..when angry

Would these reasons be good enough not to want to marry someone in the near future? She wants to get married but I feel for one we are too young (we are both 20) and there are alot of things we need to work on first. Are my reasons not to get married justified?

Answer 1

They are definately justified. Stick to your guns. Help her get back on track with her life, if you want to have a future with her. But if you don't think you can handle all of her baggage, then move on.

Answer 2

It doesn't sound like you are ready to get married and that is all the reason you need. Sometimes our emotions and are heads do not agree, not to say that all you need is love, but most times we love the other person inspite of their faults, but you have to decide what you can live with. You are only 20...that's still pretty young and you both probably have a lot of maturing to do. If you really love this girl you should encourage her to get a GED and continue her education, that might be the first step in helping her obtain a job she enjoys and can keep, which eventually will help her clean up her credit. As far as the deadbeat baby daddy, there is nothing either one of you can do about that, but if you are considering a future with this woman then you have to be sure you are ready to be a parent and take on the financial/emotional responsibility of a kid. the over reacting and yelling are just part of her personality that she could mature out of and find other ways to deal with her emotions if not you just have to learn how to deal with it but its all about what you and she are willing to do to improve the situation and if both of you are willing to do the work and you love her then you are not setting yourself up for failure. Just make sure she's on the same page as you are.

Answer 3

I would say dont marry her, the problem areas are:
she has a deadbeat baby daddy
she tends to over react
she cant keep a job
she has a bad credit
and she yells at you

If that was a guy i wouldnt even look his way. If she cant change for the better, then i feel it is best for you to go and find someone else who meets some or all the qualities that you are looking for in a girlfriend and a wife.

Think of it like this, you would have to take care of a child that is not even yours, then you would have to support her cause most likely she dont like to work that is way she cant keep a job, when you get married, her bad credit will be your bad credit also.

Answer 4

Absolutely! First of all, you 2 need to get to a point where you can sit and talk things out without yelling and screaming at each other. You also need to think about the fact that the father of her child isn't going to help but may come back into the picture at some point. You have plenty of time to get married so work on your relationship for awhile and start out the right way. Marriage is wonderful when you are with the right person but it is also hard to merge 2 lives into one and takes commitment from both people to keep it together, I think you are smart for waiting.

Answer 5

"They" do no longer have the slightest ******* clue what's ideal for you. Neither do I. Neither do you. All you would possibly want to do is what your coronary heart tells you to do. "They" seriously is not chuffed both. I actually have a 'chum' who attended neither college nor commerce college, and he has each and every thing I want I had. an area to stay and a female friend. And he's a low existence. Which makes him an truly good retail manager. Which maximum human beings frown on, yet curiously he's making sufficient to stay conveniently, so as that shows you what they recognize. A commerce college is a sturdy a determination of any. attempting to play the "get a strong college, bypass an tutorial direction" sport is for CEO's and engineers, with the concept being on the proper with the most is the most acceptable. Too undesirable in user-friendly words a small share can make it that far. when you're pleased with a strong existence and someone who loves you, then all that "get the most conceivable money" stuff is garbage. Plus, if a spouse marries you on your social status, she's trash. you would merely be one among those %50 % divorce cost data. This industrialist, overly aggressive capitalist garbage is what makes human beings so unhappy, yet its too a lot "the norm." do not enable it get you down.

Answer 6

Do you feel that you can change her? Is she someone you are trying to save? Are you desperate for a relationship or love. Do you have a connection with her. Why are you with her if you listed all of these bad faults? There must be a reason. Ask yourself what it is and then decide if that reason is greater than the above list. If it is, then stay with her, just wait X number of years before marrying.

However, if you do not love her. Feel there is no hope. Then give the girl her freedom and dignity and break up with her, so that she can move on to someone who truly loves her.

Namste. Good luck.

Answer 7

Your reasons are not justified! Do you love her? If no then there is your justification and I suggest getting the hell out before you hurt her and her child!!!!!!!! I am a young mother also and my daughters father is a dead beat, my credit isn't bad but isn't great because of my ex, I yell when I am angry (who doesn't?), I do have a stable good paying job though, I can over react...we all do!! I graduated though... top 10 of my class. I mean come one, grow up. You don't have to marry her but do her a favor and don't hurt her if that is what she is expecting. Look at her for who she is, overall is she a good person and does she make you happy? Thats what matters because she can always go get her GED, you can adopt the child to make it your own, counseling may help temper, she can find a job she likes, and credit can be fixed with effort!!! Don't be a loser!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

Love is blind and I'm not saying that it won't work, but I think that you should definitely wait a while in fact I would give it at least 3 - 4 years. Tell her that you love her, but you want her to straighten herself out and be able to hold down a job, and sort out her credit this is because marriage is hard enough and if you've got all these counting against you its just going going to make your lives harder.

Tell her that that she should consider going back to high school at least and see what she says if she is willing to do that then things will and could work out for the two of you. But don't rush into anything

Answer 9

I think you are. Think about this, you get married to her knowing that she has all the flaws you DON'T want in your spouse. Later in life, you might regret your decision because you know that you could have done better. Why should you have to deal with all the issues you're having. You said that she can't keep a stable job. That only means that you'll be the only one supporting her and HER child. I think you're better off letting her go and moving on. She might be fun to be with right now, but the outcome might be a disaster later on. You obviously have pretty high standards, don't lower them. Good Luck.

Answer 10

No one can tell you why you are in love with someone. In fact, not even you have total control of who you fall in love with. Your heart can do crazy things and you never know why!! I am married to a man who was everything I didn't want in a guy, and my standard were silly. I didn't want facial hair, he has a mustache and goatee. I hate snuff and he dips it constantly, I hate any thing spontaneous, I am a planner and he will get out of bed and want to take off 3 states away for no reason at all. You are both young and have alot of time to consider your options. You don't have to rush into marriage to prove that you love someone. Take your time and if it is right you will know it, but don't hurry anything! Best of luck to you.

Answer 11

YES! I wouldn't get involved with that let alone marry into that.

My partner didn't graduate high school either, but he attends university, so clearly it doesn't matter. When one wants to turn life around, it is entirely possible. Of course, when he was 20, I wouldn't have got involved with him. People do change. Wait on the marriage thing. Don't do it until you're ready. Good luck!