I think maybe we would have been better off with the first mate and what do you think?
2007-01-30 01:35:45 · 28 answers · asked by Gypsy Gal 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because they marry for the wrong reason. Many marry for good looks, money, security, prestige and so forth but as the poet John Dunne once said,
"Love built on beauty, soon as beauty dies".
Try attending your high school reunion and you'll see what I mean. More than likely your heartthrob of yesteryear has turned out to be someone you wouldn't want to be seen with dead or alive.
Also, as Shakespeare put it, "All the world's a stage and we are just actors in it". Very true. Especially when it comes to relationships. If I wanted to have a relationship with a woman I could ask her who her favorite actor is. John Wayne? Humphrey Bogart? Clark Gable? Bob Hope?....then just pretend
and act like the one she has chosen. The problem with this is that sooner or later, it may take a year or twenty years, I will get exhausted from play acting and will demand to be myself. Being myself more than likely won't please my spouse. "He's really changed", she will say
"When we get married I'll change him/her".
A person should never get into a relationship with the intent of changing the other. You either love the other as they are or find someone else to love. Nor should a person allow themselves to be changed
My humble advice to anyone who is seeking a meaningful and lasting relationship is to first get to REALLY know that person.
Knowing that person will lead you to understand that person, understanding leads to appreciation, and appreciation to true love.
If you yourself are seeking a meaningful and lasting relationship, tattoo this underneath your eyelids .....
KNOW > UNDERSTAND> APPRECIATE > LOVE
2007-01-30 06:48:20 · answer #1 · answered by Diogenes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they did not take enough time to AUTHENTICALLY come to know the person they were marrying.
It seems that many will meet...then 7 or 18 months later they are married.
They are marrying while the relationship is still in the euphoric stage and not waiting to see all moods, aspects, styles of relating, discovery of common thought towards personal as well as day to day issues, etc.
Love is magnificent to feel and experience . . . yet, a committed relationship is more than love.
To take two and a half to three years to come to know each other may seem like a long time. Yet, when you look at the number of years / decades a couple might be together . . . those three years is not that long an investment to put towards something so precious . . . the soul, heart, authentic love. Not just love . . . authentic valuing love.
With love comes responsibility to value, cherish and nurture anothers heart. . . it's not enough to just love the other one's heart.
More I could say on this topic . . . But, in answer to your question . . . I'd say people marry too soon.
2007-01-30 09:48:49 · answer #2 · answered by onelight 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People today have a poor concept of marriage. They think they have to be blissfully happy for the remainder of their lives and are too selfish to roll with the punches. Yeah, men get lazy about the romantic aspect of the relationship and women tend to not want a physical relationship as much. Both genders stop trying to impress the other person. Some people get divorced over job changes. Many people today to truly value their wedding vows and have that committment that the vows imply in their hearts. They split when the going gets tough because they are too self-seeking to see it through the tough times. Everybody wants what they want and they want it now. If the spouse doesn't agree, no one is willing to compromise and give a little. Most people have to have their way, or the highway. It's terrible.
2007-01-30 09:48:53 · answer #3 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people marry so much because they are not taking the time to actually look for a mate so they are jumping in relationships that turn into marriages and then find out that they may be better off as friends. Take your time when looking for a mate..... it will be worth it in the long run!!! Good Luck!!
2007-01-30 09:40:55 · answer #4 · answered by Mye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I married my high school sweetheart and after 4 years, he decided that he wanted someone else, so HE filed for divorce. I stuck it out for 4 years trying to make it work. I am on my second marriage and things are much better than the first one. Getting married over and over doesn't mean you want attention or anything, people get really hurt in different situations and believe it or not, some people change horribly after you get married. I would have rathered get married once and leave it at that but he didn't want it. Now he is going through hell, lol.
2007-01-30 09:43:59 · answer #5 · answered by lessard_family 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people have a hard time working out the problem with there mate so that think just by ending it they will feel better about themselves. what they need to do if to work together and find a answer . That what marriage is all about. working together to make each other stronger not just one.
2007-01-30 09:44:30 · answer #6 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People marry so many times b/c they are in love with the idea of love.
2007-01-30 09:40:52 · answer #7 · answered by Boo Boo Head 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They think they can get over the first marriage by doing it again. There just playing themselves. It's called the road of less travel.
2007-01-30 09:42:38 · answer #8 · answered by Mike 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called Serial Monogamy
2007-01-30 10:11:15 · answer #9 · answered by Who Knew! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think some people are addicted to that feeling of a new relationship. When they lose that, they move on to a new relationship, until that newness wears off.
2007-01-30 10:05:17 · answer #10 · answered by dixie chick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋