Do you let your middle schooler watch American Idol?

Question

Middle schoolers can be cruel to each other as it is. Every new season we hear that Simon is taking meaness to a new level. My daughter's classmates ask why we do not allow her to watch it but these are the same classmates who are making some of the nastiest critical comments to her - about her hair, clothes, pimples, etc. Kids normally treat each other quite terribly at this age but why exacerbate it by letting them see 'mature' adults doing the same thing?

A few seem to assume that I send her to school looking like a slob or something. Her hair: They tease her because we keep it shoulder length, not long. We have a deal with her - she takes a shower consistantly by 6:00pm without a reminder and we will let it grow longer. she is being teased about the length of her hair and it isn't that bad. Her pimples: she has a prescription and they are almost cleared up. Her clothes: they are new and in style but not slutty. Her classmate critics feel that her tops should be tighter and her skirts much shorter.
She has ADHD and they will find any reason to tease her. Also due to her ADHD she has impulse control issues and will say what is on her mind and can be just as mean as anyone.

There is more than one reason we do not let her watch the show - nastiness is only part of it. TV is limited in this house - I grew up with a very bad TV habit and it is not hurting our kids to have a weekly limit. Also, she needs to have at least 10 hours of sleep to function the next day therefore she must be in bed at 8:00 (and even then she is groogy and hard to wake) to be up at 6:00.

Answer 1

As the mother of two daughters, ages 15 1/2 and almost-12, my opinion is that we cannot "protect' our children by shielding them from life's harsh realities and the inevitable morons they will encounter. The best (and, IMO, smartest) way to help our kids is to help them develop better coping skills. Preventing your daughter from watching a TV show like "American Idol" because of the mean comments is useless and merely delays the inevitable (coming into contact with idiots in the real world). What would be more effective would be to watch the show together, and try to open a dialogue about how these comments make people feel, and what your daughter can do to deflect any such comments directed at her with grace and poise. Treating others as we would like to be treated is a life-lesson that you can impart to your daughter. Use the show as a tool to help educate her about doing the right thing, even when those around her are not. This lesson has far-reaching benefits. As parents, it is natural to want to shield our kids from pain, but, in the big scheme of things, we do them a disservice if we do not better prepare them for real life. The fact is, most people are good, but, there ARE mean people out there. Use this as an opportunity to help your daughter learn how to deal with them.

Answer 2

I guess i don't have a teenager yet but I feel that as long as my girls know right from wrong in their mind that letting them watch while critiqing simons behavior can be helpful as well.(ex. When Simon has commented on a heavy sedt person I'll add my own fellings about his comments I so have a sister in law that's 12 and she realizes that's not approrpriate to treat another person. I think it more so depends on the person who's watching. Some people see that and copy it others see it and feel badly about it. It sounds like you're an excellent parent and from the nature of your question I'm sure you're daughter knows it's wrong! That doesn't mean she should miss out on the fun of watching all the silly people! Auditions are the best part! Have you ever watched it? you might find it a bit amusing too! and in the end seeing the winners dream come true! The emotions that you can really see are there can help your daughter to see that she can do what she really wants in life, it's inspiring to see peoples dreams coming true. It sucks that there has to be the meaness too but hey, that's reality TV. Their in it for the ratings and they do what works. I think you won't find it so bad though.

Answer 3

i tottaly know where you are coming from, my parents will not let me watch anything over pg, and i am 17! She might feel "un cool" or whatever, but in the end she will have more knowledge about what's really important, instead of wasting my time watchin t.v i could hang out with friends, or read a book. Kids are the biggest critics, and often times they can be very mean, (they might just be jealous) But I understand why my parents did not want me wasting my mind on watching a critical show such as, american idol. She cares about me and it seems that you care about your daughter. I can tell that you are a strong parent, keep it up and she will thank you, like I thanked my mom. ♥

Answer 4

I'm going to help you with this...let her watch the show...it will help her to get ideas about how to put her clothes and hair together like the people she sees and will help her find a style (even if the clothes aren't expensive she can create a look) also for the pimples on her face...buy rubbing alcohol and have her wash her face in the morning and before bed with it..her face will clear up in no time and continue to use it...(it works and is very affordable)....you don't want her to be teased and unfortunately she will be unless she finds herself and some confidence...do these things and help her as much as you can...I'm telling you the kids @ school are much crueler than Simon ever thought about being!

Answer 5

ok she in middle school and should be able to have her hair the way she wants. she should be able to watch american idol and she prolly feels left out cuz she cant. u are being way to overprotective and shes gonna rebel and have a baby at 15 so just ease up and trust me shell be much happier. by not letting her grow her hair ur treating her like shes 5 and she hates u 4 it and its ur fault shes being picked on.

Answer 6

well, no wonder they're getting bullied. they're probably weak as ****. what i mean by that is that you dont let them do anything at all i bet. you keep them at home and limit them to G movies. serioulsy you could be a little more leiniant. yes, i am 13 same scenario, but i thought my mom was harsh o me for not letting me see any R movies(except for a few.) people laugh at me when they hear that i cant see too many R movies and stuff like that. lol again no wonder they're getting bullied.

Answer 7

So what is she *allowed* to watch? American Idol is one of the most family friendly shows on TV now.

Answer 8

yes i let my 11 year old wath it and she has to be at school at 8:00 AM and wake up at 6:00

Answer 9

i wish everyone had impulse control issues... the world would be so much less fake... let the poor girl watch what she wants.. you're only hurting her more by making her feel like more of an outsider.... and GOOD for her for saying what's on her mind... more people should take a lesson from her... and there are a LOT worse things on tv than american idol

Answer 10

I think you should let her watch it but remeind her that Simon is an old cranky man who is not from this country so their costums may be different than ours. By her proactive for her face, its very cheap and by her nice looking clothes. You remeber how it was for you..so helpo her along so she will not be teased.