My husband tells me hes has always had this problem. His ex cheated on him several times caught red handed in bed . and still never admits to it. so now divorced for over 10 years has filled the kids head with crap. they never treat him as a dad just or money hand out. he gives all of the child support and insurance. never late. she does not work is remarried and always tryes to get the kids to treat the stepfather and his family as there father and teaches the kids not to respect the real dad. after christmas and what they all did lie say there were coming for christmas and then not come only for 10 mins and said ok give me my presents we want to go very nice over hear we are good to the kids. but the mom fills there heads he said till we go to couseling and there attitude changes there cant come over they dont call they dont admit to nothing. they steal, lie over here. he called the mom cause he heard she was going around telling lies to people and to talk she wont call back
2007-01-30 00:29:15 · 10 answers · asked by shelby8687 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a sad situation. I think counselling could work in your husbands favour. He could get some ideas on how to cope with his ex wife and how to win over the children. Good luck for the children's' sake.
2007-01-30 00:40:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
but the mom fills there heads he said till we go to counseling ...did the mom say this or did your husband? Your description is a little hard to follow. but I would say ten years is long enough to hold a grudge against an "ex". I don't know how old the kids are...but they usually see the truth if they are truly looking for it... as for the not coming over there. keep the door open and your things locked up. never ever tell your children they cant come over. it wont do any good calling the mom, the woman is not "right" in the head if she is still playing these games with him. If there is that much of a concern for the kids well being, why hasn't he gone to court asking for some kind of counseling for everyone involved. A family should at least try to be civil in all situations, especially when children are involved.
2007-01-30 00:44:34 · answer #2 · answered by zsaffireblue2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His next move should not include contact with the ex-wife. As for the kids? No more presents, no more money, no more anything (except child support and insurance). They will learn or they will keep up the crap and you two do not need it. If this means not seeing his kids, well that sucks but you can't do anyhting about it. If they are over the age of consent in your state they can decide when and how long to visit. If not then the visitation stands, and you all will have to play hard ball with them.
This is a sucky situation. One parent allowing them to act a certain way against the other.
Oh another option (cahnces are slim though) is to have them come over acting the way they do. have witnesses available or a camcorder or what ever. then take As* to court and takle custody.
2007-01-30 00:58:22 · answer #3 · answered by Richard Bricker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep your mouth and your husbands mouth SHUT tight. In the end, the kids will realize that there mother is a moron. I know that sounds like a hard thing to do, but majority of the time, it does work out in the end.
Been there, done that, same as you. My step-son finally realized I'm not the evil step-mom, and that his Dad really is a wonderful person. Took quite a few years, but we are reaping the benefits while the mother has an angry child on her hands for trying to ruin his relationship with his father.
But do NOT ever speak to the ex, or about the ex. You are making things worse and giving her fuel to the fire (so to speak). Besides if you and your hubby act mature, the kids will see this and will appreciate it and will look up to you for being the better person. May take years more for this to happen, but you and your husband will be better for it.
2007-01-30 00:43:33 · answer #4 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it is time for the father to pull all support.
Pay what is required by law and remove all the rest.
Let them reap what they have sowed.
The kids are not that stupid that they blindly follow without knowing what is going on.
If they are party to their mother's game let them understand the consequence.
Once they realize that there is no more paycheck they will be back.
As for the ex, husband should call and leave a message that if she does not call back he will have the children convey the message. That message is " I caught your lying cheating @ss in bed with another man. That is the truth and your story is a lie. You can believe that if you wish but if I hear about you telling your revised story again I will make it a point to broadcast the truth."
Sad tale . He's dealing with a liar and cheat. She chose to stay that way.
Do you suppose she has been faithful to the new fool?
2007-01-30 00:59:33 · answer #5 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing I hate most parents pitting the kids against one of the parents. I can really get into this. Kids shouldn't have to hear all that crap and be told lies. I would first sit down with that mom and talk and bring all this out and then whatever comes of that do the same with the kids. Have them over for dinner or something and tell them they are staying till the talk is over. Without down talking their mom tell them that what is is telling them isn't true and that you have no answer for why she chooses to speak of you like that. Also, you won 't have that steeling and them coming to house and not staying around enough for you all to do something together. Tell them you want time with them then give it to them. Statistics say that no matter how a child is treated, no matter what the other parents has told them about the parents that child will always love that parent. Put your foot down to them after you talk to their mom and start again with those kids.
2007-01-30 00:45:54 · answer #6 · answered by theedge62 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this sounds like an excellent time to go to the clerk of courts and file for custody of the kids . I would also try to get the kids to some counseling . but you are only the step mom and the kids need to go to the counseling with their dad and their mom present and you may be able to go with them a couple of times. They need to learn some respect for their father and not treat him this way . But he needs to do this not you. Maybe you should sit him down and talk to him about this . If not then there probably not much else you can do for them. sorry that you have to be in this sittuation. good luck .
2007-01-30 00:44:05 · answer #7 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is guilty and doesn't want to be confronted now that she has caused all these problems. your never going to change the mom, or the kids, they are all just like the mom, and no matter what they do u aren't allowed to say a word about it, or she will withold visitation. she will continue to tell lies, and lay all the blame on him, and none on herself. can't control others or anything they do, so if u want the kids over she seems to hold all the cards. but if he pays support he needs to go to court and get his visitation with them. but as long as the mom is telling them lies things won't change.
2007-01-30 00:44:15 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the kids will know later in life now she should be locked up. she is nuts all the way. your husband should not be home when thy come over. do as to them as thy do to you.good luck to the both of you
2007-01-30 00:44:45 · answer #9 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i honestly feel you should rewrite your question,its kinda like mathematics.i dont get it.
2007-01-30 00:43:31 · answer #10 · answered by 9k 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋