why do people in society expect a girl to be more adjusting & give in to all demands of her family members ?

Question

i met somebody who is better earning & educated than her husband, who married her against the wishes of his parents but just after marriage everybody in his family pushed him so much so that he let the girl suffer with him a sort of guilt, that none of his side was present in the marriage. He could not take her to his home for one year other than once for the sake of shagun after 4/5 months as she was leaving for abroad for a project. None of them called her up & the boy also stayed indifferent most of the timeduring all this. When she came back after 6/7 months, the Shadi took place again at his parents place,the girl who was against this humiliation had to give in. She was mocked at his place when she was there for two days for her walk or so(she had undergone a serious accident six yrs back & had very bravely recovered from that , during these yrs this boy had come close & was liked by her family as he looked very decent). This whole thing has upset her. what do she do ?

Answer 1

I don't know what culture you are from and I really didn't get the story,but here in America we don't make anybody marry anybody and if we don't like the partner of our family members we grin and bear it.I don't know why in your culture girls have less power but I am glad I a don't have that culture for I have 5 daughters and would not have liked them to be treated as second class people.women are the most important asset in any family,that is why God said Himself that it is not good for man to be alone and he made for him a woman,not a another male for company and help,He made a woman for man.

Answer 2

First of all let me clarify you that it's not only girls, even guys have to give in to demands of their family members. I seen guys jumping in wrong career streams against their interests, marry against their interest, etc.

About this girl you are talking about, I don't understand why she couldn't talk to her parents clearly? If she would stick to her point nobody could budge her. Probably she wanted to repent for the decision she made at first.

She was the one who made the wrong choice first. The guy too married her against his parents will and that could be the reason why they didn't treat her well. It was the guys job to win the trust of her parents and the girls job to win the trust of his parents. Both failed. Six years later, the guy tries hard, wins over her parents and marries her again. And you sympathize the girl. Come on... Look at the picture... Six years is a long time. The guy still loved her. And she forgot the incident as an humilation. What else could you expect if you do anything against your parents wishes? She knew that everything was going on against his parents wishes. She should have prepared herself for that. She should have proved that she is the perfect lady for the guy. She didn't.

Be practical. The picture is straight. They got married against their elders wishes, they sufferred. I believe that the guy was strong enough to start it all over again and give life a second chance. And you care about the girls' pains. What about her parents pains and their humilations? Are you a parent? How would you react when your child (boy or a girl) marrys and later on come back to you saying that you couldn't carry on with the marraige... How could you be so ignorant towards other aspects involved in the incident?

Answer 3

She should immedeately talk to her husband why its happening like this, she should clarify it & then if everything is ok she can carry on.
I got married last year May, it is a love marriage, evrything was going smooth till few months & then in November she started complaining to me that my family members are not behaving well, first of all i got angry with her, but then she had a discussion with me & we talked openely discussed each & every matter & we are living happy now.
Soi mean to say let her try to solve this problem by talking with her husband & if doesn't get well then she should must look to some other way.

Answer 4

This is truly a tragic scene of Indian Culture, where females are always look down upon.

I feel more and more wives should utilize the 498A of IPC to teach these brutes of the society. Girls have to forget about the defamation factor in the society and come forward to fight out these nuisence otherwise these would prevail and day by day it will be worse.

Tell your friend to file a 498A first and apply for a divorce and marry a man of her choice. She must keep all her ornaments with her for financial support. It is also advisable that she refuse sex with that brute because a child at this situation may make her confused.

Answer 5

Hello,
First: My heart goes out to this couple, mostly the lady.
Second : This is wrong.
What kind of people does stuff like this?
"If so quick to look for hate they will be very long at finding love.
And this is their own family, not just anyone - Their family.

Shame on them!!
UN fortunately no one can tell her what to do, has to come from her heart, within.
But if I was in her shoes, I would abandoned ship !
Swim so swift, keep swimming far, never ever to look back.
They are the anchor to her body & sole
Good luck
^j^ Sandra ^j^

Answer 6

She needs to flip the people off that are against her and tell her hubby come on, they're going home. And he should have no qualms about telling these same people that his wife has "said" it all. Then he should leave with her and never go back to these people.

Answer 7

hi friend,dont worry,in life everything is there,we have to face it,why because we have taken a birth na,keep her courageous,

Answer 8

if shes educated she needs to move shes not going to adjust

Answer 9

She needs to discuss it with her hubby....