My son my friend?

Question

My darling son passed away in march of 06, his father never loved him so, i tryed to make the different by giving most any thing . whenever he became a teenager he started to and became an acholic then he began to take cocane, he was no ordenery person everyone loved he was so kink god fearing. my quesrtion is was i at fault for spoiling hin? he was only 41 when he died and i was the one that found him he was really trying hard to stop acholic and drugs i am thankful when he died he was lieing on the bed and looked as he was sleeping peacful, the medicial said that at the time of his death he had no trace of druges oe acholic in his blood, he died with a massage heart attact the main artery to his heart was conpleted blocked, my son knew about his blood presure and other heath health problemns but he was so unhappy the druges and acholic had taken a toll on him. He was very bright his i q was outstanding he could have a bright future . he was a bank manager had lisicens for ex

Answer 1

I am so sorry for your sad loss. It must be so painful for a parent to see one of their own children die before them.
To answer your question, he was a grown up man who could have changed his life whether or not you did a good job bringing him up. I am sure you did what you thought was best for him but sometimes over protection only makes sons/daughters irresponsible, because they know someone will always cover up for them.
Someone so close to my heart was on the same track as your son, and strangely enough, it sounds like his mother's treatment is so similar to the way you treated your beloved son. I do not believe that's a coincidence, but I also do not believe you were not good mothers.
You still did what you thought was best, you just over did it out of your love for your son. He never had to take charge of his life or think of his actions, whether it was right or wrong, and whether it was going to hurt someone else. Your love and care made of him an immature character who only cared about himself and never learned to give as much as he takes.
Again, he had enough time to change his life to the better, but he did not bother. He was old and sane enough to make his own choices and he chose his way. So quit blaming yourself and just invest your time in asking forgiveness for his soul.

Answer 2

May his memory be sweetly at peace in your heart always.Inshallah.
The tragedy of his drug addiction is not something you can take the blame for in any way. Please understand that.
For some reason we will never know he chose to use drugs to try and ease something that was troubling him deeply.
He was a grown man and could have long ago chosen to ask for help to overcome his addiction.
It is a pity and a waste of a good life that he couldn't,for whatever reason.
Know that he knew the risks, and the inevitability it would take his life from him.But it was he, that choose his path.
Most likely he never even discussed it with you,but his reason for relying on alcohol and then cocaine was the only way he felt release for what ever hell was tormenting him.
Drug and alcohol addiction can happen to any family.
It is often the good and gifted that are its victims.
He died in peace,and his torment of this life is over.
His pain is over. But you must love yourself for the mother you were and not look for ways to blame yourself in anyway.
For now you are in pain.I know this is not what he would have wanted ,he never intended to cause you grief at all.
I do hope you have someone,to support you and to help you understand, there is no blame to be placed at all,on anyone!.
I know that there are not enough alcohol and drug rehabilitation programs in Egypt, or help for effected families.But do ask your Doctor if there are any such services as grief counselling in your area.
I can only say be brave and know others are thinking and praying for you. Time will ease the pain, but never fade his memory in your heart.

Answer 3

I don't believe you should blame yourself for this. You said he was 41. That made him responsible for his own choices in life.
I am sorry for your loss and I know how you feel. At this time in my life I feel I am in a situation similar to your son. At times I blame my parents, my society, and sometimes the whole scheme of life. Deep down inside I know I am the one to be blamed for all my miseries. Life in the 21st century is hard. So hard. People suffer from many internal conflicts . It's not you. It's the fact that nothing makes sense in this life and nothing has a meaning. You see thousands of people dying everyday because they don't have food, and you see people dying because they ate so much food. Walking in the streets became dangerous. Interacting with real people and communicating with your family members became somthing from the past. Everybody now spends time infront of the p.c talking to other people from behind masks of anonymosity. You see bad people becoming rich and famous and good people becoming poor and miserable.
It takes deep inner strength to survive in this world. You are all trying to survive instead of actually living.
My deep consolation goes for you Madam. You are not to be blamed for what happened to your son. He could have died for any cause. Instead you can help and save other people who have his problem. Dedicate your life for a bigger cause. Help in fighting depression and drug addiction. Start some society work and name it after your deceased son. Work hard and use the passion that you have now into making this great thing. Never let your strong feelings go away. Keep them, but use them for the common good.
Make the whole world know that the life of your son didn't go in vein, but that his death will help into saving other souls. And I am sure that after a few years, you will look back at this and embrace it. Just embrace it as a life experience. Something that was meant to happen and it happened in the course of our life which is filled by sad moments and good moments. Yet we will survive it.
God bless you madam. A broken heart can only be healed by helping other broken hearts to heal.

Answer 4

I am speechless, I believe it's not any one fault!!because there r millions with the same family troubles & may be orphans even when their parents r still alive, because these parents r not living with their kids, they may have left them in an orphan house!!but these orphans lived normally, they study, work & then merry & raise their kids normally!!all depends on the personality!!i heard that addiction is carried in the genes!!and not the result of family problems!!you may find another kid from a normal family who is an addictor!!so don't think about it!!you cannot regain the past!! GOD GRANT YOU PEACE & REST YOUR BOY'S SOUL!!

Answer 5

You made me cry ..am really crying from my heart and cannot stop it.. pray for him (ed3eelou keteer belra7ma ) go for 3omra and hag for him ( e3melilou 3omra aw 7eggeelou) . ana had3eelou fi kol sala (am gonna pray for him always ) .u have to make (sada2a garya 3ala ro7ou) like el do3aa or paying even little money for a new mosque or (dar aytam). there are many stuff makes u feel better but Dont ever forget God's Mercy (ra7met rabina was3a awi awi). rabina yesabbar albik ya ommi

Answer 6

Can't tell you how sorry I am for your loss,no one can say that he feel you I'm positive that your pain is beyond imagination,that is the worst disaster could happen to a person,I know quite well that all condoling words won't make you feel any better so all what I can say is that I hope that Allah almighty grant you patience

Answer 7

sorry to tell u that yes it was your fault...it doesnt mean that because his father didnt love him that u compensate him by spoiling him...so many mothers have the same case like yours n they raise their children in a very good way, some of them in a religious way others in an ordinary way...all u have to do now is to pray for god to forgive him and u...this will help him the best now...

Answer 8

sorry to heat abt the loss of ur son. May Allah bless him and forgive all his sins

Answer 9

May God forgive him and you.

Answer 10

yessssssssssssssssssss