What would Kirk or Picard have done if they had met Darth Vader?

Question

It would have been great to...SEE...Kirk try to battle...wits...with...Darth...VADER!

Answer 1

Probably have gotten their butts whipped, that’s what. No, sorry. That’s my initial reaction, but maybe not.

Okay, here’s what Kirk would have done: provided that he was forewarned as to what Vader's abilties were, he’d use the two chemicals (I forget their names) from two different episodes. One was from that planet where everybody was accelerated to such high speeds that they didn’t stand still long enough for you to notice them. The other was from the planet where everybody had telekinetic abilities except for the dwarf guy. I forget the names of the episodes, but YOU know the ones I mean!

Then he’d take a heavy phaser rifle and pre-program a transporter (they work at the speed of light, so they could keep up with Kirk when he’s accelerated) to be operated by remote control from his communicator.

Then Kirk would open fire on Vader from a distance, so he couldn’t use the lightsaber, only to defend himself against the phaser bolts. While Vader was deflecting them and preparing to deliver some taunt, Kirk would accelerate himself and stand far behind Vader, and shoot him in the back. If Vader used the Force against him, Kirk would counter that with his own telekinetic abilities. Finally, in event of necessity, Kirk would use the transporter to dump Vader into another volcano—or, better yet, into the engines of the Enterprise!

“Captain, the engines are running awfully rough!”

“Not now, Scotty. On my command, fire photon torpedoes at these coordinates- fire!”

(The Death Star erupts into flame and explodes.)

“And thus ends another madman’s dream of domination.”

“I don’t understand it, Captain. We only used premium grade antimatter in our engines!”

“Perhaps you should use a better grade of matter... Oh, by the way, Scotty, here’s a little present for you—careful! – it’s hazardous. They call it a lightsaber. See if you can’t reverse engineer it and make a spare for me.”

“Will do, Captain. But why? They don’t have the range, flexibility or precision of a phaser.”

“I’m going to send one to the Klingon ambassador, labeled as an x-ray viewer for looking through women’s clothes.”

(Roll credits.)

30 Jan 07, 1508 hrs, GMT.

Answer 2

Of course Kirk or Picard would defeat Darth Vader by finding the weak spots of the force and using it to their advantage.

As for the battle of wits, Kirk has had to fight off mind control attempts from many races so Darth Vader would have a good fight on his hand. Also, Kirk or Picard are good sword fighters so they can match Darth Vader with this skill.

All in all, this would be a good match of wits and skill.

Answer 3

Well, Kirk would have warned Vader's Star Destroyer once then opened fire with a volley of photon torpedos. They would have penetrated the Star Destroyer's shielding and done considerable damage but Vader would have escaped to fight another day...

Picard would have tried to negotiate with Vader, which would have been useless, Vader can get in a mood sometime and there is just no talking to him... In person, Vader would have threatened Picard and tried to force choke him maybe once or twice. Later on, Picard would have come back with a modified tricorder that has been altered to shield him from the Force, by setting up a repeating pulse to the EM frequency of Vader's robotic limbs, modeled on a pattern taken from the frontal lobe of Data's positronic neural net. (Or some such techno-babble sh!t like that...)

Answer 4

Kirk would have done to Darth Vader what he does to any other life form in the galaxy he discovers....he'd have sex with it. Kirk was an intergalactic pimp. Picard would have been Vader's love slave and Vader would lead him around with a chain and leather and spike dog collar with Picard dressed all in leather.

But in a fight Vader would beat them both hands down. Come on...he had the power of The Force on his side.

Answer 5

I think i agree with most people here when I say that Kirk or Picard would win in a Ship to Ship battle, but face to face-- Darth not only was a superior fighter, he was a master pilot and tactician... and he had the Force.

Only Transporter techonology would save them both from being slaughtered by Vader in a hand to hand combat.

Answer 6

It would be no contest. Even Kirk's much older Enterprise is much faster and advanced than a star cruiser. The Enterprise can go much faster than just light speed. It can detect ships coming toward it at light speed. It has a range of weapons that would punch through any shields a Star Wars vessel could possess. Remember, small fighters can get though a Star Wars ships' shields. Heck, Kirk or Picard could set behind their shields, take over the Star Wars computers from afar and destroy them at their leisure. Darth Vader might be able to attack the captains from afar, but the either Enterprise would immediately open fire and destroy any ship he was on. The Star Trek world is to technically to far advance compared to the Star War's world. I didn't even get into teleporting-which Star Wars vessels would have no defense from.

Answer 7

It's not "Darth: Kirk....I AM YOUR FATHER"
It's more like "Kirk: Darth....I AM YOUR FATHER, Jabba the Hut's father, and a couple of those green guys over there's father too!"


LOL sorry, I couldn't resist....

Answer 8

Darth: Kirk....I AM YOUR FATHER...

Answer 9

Kirk would have whipped his a.. Picard would hve become his b....

Answer 10

They would scream " Ensign,worp 9 ! ENGAGE!"