I was talking to my guy friend and he's always been a very great guy in his relationship, very very very attractive, but he ended up getting cheated on always, REALLY BAD situations. Well now he's trying to be a player, it's working, but he is hurting so many people. He's only been single for about 3 months. I know some of these girls and it's sad to see them be lead on and just played. Well he says he is doing it because he has been hurt but i don't think that's acceptable. I've never been cheated on..and knew about it.
2007-01-29 20:00:06 · 13 answers · asked by uglyvanity 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Is it 'natural'?
No, it's immature.
2007-01-29 20:04:19 · answer #1 · answered by tropical 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, this sounds like my autobiography. do i know u?
this is EXACTLY what i just went through. its almost too simple to be a player once you've left a bad relationship. when i was dumped i found a new confidence in myself that seemed all too eager to test its ego. be a friend, tell him what you think of his behavior, because if he is not an experienced player, he is probably about to get burned. i'm having a rough time compelling my ego to a healthier rhythm, but i knew i had to change what i was doing because i was ultimately setting myself up for more heartbreak, and i was turning away my friends by being something im not. i realized, that in the end, the girls i played, or thought i was playing, stirred up emotions that i didn't want to have with them. you're just supposed to love em and leave em right? no, as hard as i tried i had to give myself a reality check, these girls i couldn't stand that i was leading them into nothing but heartache, and i couldn't keep living with myself. tell him what you think. my friends had to intervene to bring me back in check. but thats what a true friend does, they stab you in the front! truth hurts.
2007-01-29 23:46:30 · answer #2 · answered by alex l 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. I understand his pain, the same thing used to happen to me (all but the veryx3 attractive), and I did the same thing he is doing, he will regret it later in life. Chances are that he will "play" until he catches something (one of many or multiples, I was very lucky in this respect and caught none). If you were a good friend you would tell him that this is going to ruin his life. Granted I'm no guru, and it may not end badly every time, but is it really worth the risk for, at most, 3 years of fun. No, it's really not.
2007-01-29 20:30:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would think that if you have been cheated on, and felt hurt and upset about it like most people would, then the last thing that you would want to do to someone else is make them feel that way. Unless you are not a very nice person, of course.
2007-01-29 20:12:56 · answer #4 · answered by AussieHel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We cannot respond to evil with evil|
It only begets more evil|
Yes, some people get played|
If you are patient, it is given to you how to turn the tables on those who have been playing you - and man, is it juicy|
I don't think that it is Christian to say revenge is sweet, but it is pretty darn close| Perhaps justice is being served is a better way of putting it|
But if you jump the gun and start hurting the innocent because you have been hurt yourself, then you lose everything|
---
2007-01-29 20:30:23 · answer #5 · answered by Catholic Philosopher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure is you could call it natural, but it's definitely common.
Ever heard of "Monkey see - Monkey do" or "Do onto others are they would do onto you."? Most people are that way. Life is filled with such examples. People's behavior reflects past treatment, experiences and environment. He is acting this way so that his heart won't be broken again. He needs a woman who truly cares and understands him to help bring him back to who he really is. From how you speak, could it be that you really like him as more than just a friend. If so, than you could be the woman for him. You understand him and if you have the strength, could change him back into who he was.
The most important thing to remember is to tell him how much you care for him and that he is what makes each day so special. Remember that us men are as sensitive, romantic, and for some like him, insecure. If it is not you, than maybe you can help the woman who does care for him.
2007-01-29 20:17:09 · answer #6 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its natural to feel hurt and to want revenge or some kind of payback,i suggest that it was the wrong option by cheating in this way or anyway at all,i believe the healing wont start until this stops due to the fact that every time that he does this, deep down he is just reminding himself of what happened to him,trying to cover it over with a quick fix never helps anybody.
2007-01-29 20:13:27 · answer #7 · answered by JC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably figuring either
1.) Why is it worth it for me to continue being faithful when it doesn't get me anywhere but cheated on
or
2.) I'll cheat on them before they can cheat on me
Either case he's probably trying to protect himself from getting hurt, or trying to have some fun since everyone else seems to be having a LOT of fun too, lol
2007-01-29 20:08:50 · answer #8 · answered by Elysia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not natural ,most times people forgive it does not necessary mean you most revenge but rather you have to think of forgiveness first and it is also sign of immaturity because a truly matured person must learn how to forgive.
2007-01-29 20:10:46 · answer #9 · answered by prince kings 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy has been hurt. Maybe he loved his girl a lot and he had a shock. It's normal to want revenge, but you should talk with him, maybe he'll come to his senses.
2007-01-29 20:09:15 · answer #10 · answered by phat.phil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey word to the wise, don't stick your hand in front of a dog and cry if you get bit. whatever his reasons are, if hes gonna hurt you get away. ted bundy was also very likeable
2007-01-29 20:10:27 · answer #11 · answered by smug_guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋