I have had a relationship where my partner thought that sex within a 'normal' relationship was dirty. I could not and still dont understand why. She couldnt tell me why, she just said its how she felt. We were just talking straight up missionary sex. Nothing else. She had no history of abuse, violence, rape etc. She was very attractive and very desirable. I am not fat, unhygenic, dirty, or unattractive. Just a normal nice guy.
Was I missing something obvious?
2007-01-29 18:51:16 · 10 answers · asked by hoarfen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Probably because she was brought up by parents who instilled in her that there was something wrong with sex. I lost my virginity at 18, married that person, but it wasn't until I was 24 that I really enjoyed it and didn't feel guilty doing it. The spectre of my mother was all over the bedroom. It took a long time to accept that my parents were judgmental and wrong, and ultimately hypocritical because um, I'm HERE now, right? In situations like this, you have to give her time, make sex supportive and nurturing, make her feel taken care of, she'll come to see it as something beautiful and kind, then fun and exciting, but it'll never happen if she feels pressured or guilty or like a sexual failure. See, chicks like this have to choose between being a 'bad girl' or a 'bad girlfriend' and they have to work through a lot of conflicting feelings. Been there. It blows.
2007-01-29 19:00:05 · answer #1 · answered by tiny_dog10 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would imagine this had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with her childhood. If someone has been brought up in a household where it was drummed into them from an early age that sex is nasty or dirty, it is very hard for them to see it any other way. If you are still with this woman, just accept that it is going to take a long time to persuade her otherwise, but if you can always talk of sex as part of a loving relationship, hopefully she will eventually come round to your way of thinking. It's going to take a lot of patience on your part though.
2007-01-30 02:58:25 · answer #2 · answered by f0xymoron 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
um let me think... NO!!! O.K. I'm a pretty cool chick and I have had sexual abuse and I don't think sex is dirty at all. Personally I don't think that this is normal behavior, girls enjoy good sex just as much as guys if not a little more. Maybe she has some issues she's not admitting, I think there is some research that needs to be done on your part. Good luck and I hope you get some!!!
2007-01-30 03:01:33 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
perhaps she didnt want to give you the wrong impression? or it was built into her mind to think that sex was dirty...afterall if a girl does speak of sex society tends to look down on them in a negative way. some people are still vert conservative. maybe she was brought up to think that sex is not something to speak about.
2007-01-30 02:56:27 · answer #4 · answered by Suze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everything about us, ESPECIALLY our sexual ideals and habits, are created by our childhood and upbringing. Look to her parents or guardians for the answer to that question. Chances are, they raised her to think of sex as a sinful, dirty act. So sad...
2007-01-30 02:55:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something had to make her feel that way. Some women tend to be more open when it comes to sex and others are more backward. Had to be the way she was raised.
2007-01-30 02:57:43 · answer #6 · answered by Nancy D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just cause she thought that doesn't mean that all girls are like that. A lot of girls like it dirty. The whole nine yards. lite choking, lite smacks on the face, hand cuffs, *** spankings, *** grabbing, knawing.
Maybe that girl was just a bore.
2007-01-30 02:56:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
She needs counseling. By a professional.
2007-01-30 02:54:49 · answer #8 · answered by Debi in LA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got a bad seed ....Not all us ladies feel that way... Take her to doctors..
2007-01-30 03:21:51 · answer #9 · answered by GEN-GEN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOT all think like that.
2007-01-30 02:53:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋