At 46, I fell in love with a man and moved in too quickly. After I moved in, he told me his savings were gone, he didn't make as much as he lead me to believe,we wouldn't be able to buy a house, constantly stressed about $ and I had to bring in $, even though I am on a pension for an illness.
From the start the sex was not that great, as he had ED. I worked very hard to please him, but he gave little in return. I hoped it would get better. 2 months after moving in, he stopped having sex with me. He may be ill, but won't go to a doctor until insurance comes in. I am extremely compassionate, but it's now been 4 months without any sex, hardly a kiss, but he loves me so much and tells me all the time and is very sweet. There are things I wanted, like laughter, fun, sex, plans that we don't have. I do adore him. He's not cheating/ gay. I feel so lost because I give so much, but he doesn't give back in ways I need. He keeps saying he has no energy and too anxious. Please share advise.
2007-01-29 18:31:09 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I appreciate everyone's feedback.
He is 50 years old. I do feel as though I do all the giving. It makes me feel good to be needed I guess. But I do feel a bit angry because he was not honest about things before I moved in. My problem now is...I don't have much money on my pension. I left a good living situation, moved to another town far away and now I screwed my life. I do need 'female balls' because all my joy is gone. He follows me around like a child and gets upset if I am not with him, even in the house he wants me beside him. And I can't believe I am in a sexless relationship! I love sex but he doesn't care about nurturing me. He swears its his physical state and not that he's not attracted to me. He just keeps saying he feels breathless a lot and he is anxious. I don't know what I will do because I am ill and not up to working a regular job. I can't bear to think it's yet another relationship that didn't work. I always give too much. I give freely, but then end up empty.
2007-01-29 23:01:42 · update #1
Move out and move on!!!!! First, he led you astray before you moved in with him. He doesn't give you anything in return. Even if he does have ED, there are other ways for him to satisfy you. If he is ill, do you really want to be stuck taking care of him? He sounds like a very selfish person and does not respect you.
Before you move in with another man, make sure that you both want the same thing. Take things slow and don't move in with him until you are sure that you know who he truly is.
2007-01-29 18:54:39 · answer #1 · answered by sheilanoel23 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
You are a young lady of just 46 years only this is the age when life begins , you can enjoy the life to its maximum at this age because this is time you have settled in your life.
The friendship happens only when some thing is common between two persons i.e. some common interest . In your case what is the common interest between you two.
In relation ship between man and woman sex plays a major role whether you are married or not. If you do not have satisfactory sex life than I am sorry to say that this relationship will not last long. Pl. find some common interest between you two or look for new boy friend who have the same meaning of life ( Fun, Laughter, Action , sex,).
Feel free to Contact
Enjoy Life
Dr.Mojo
2007-01-29 18:53:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally for me if my man was acting how urs is I would really assume either he was cheating on me or he is using me for my money.
Think about it before you move in all things are good cause he still has to bribe you basically to move in, he is wooing you with all this good stuff just so you move in and pay for his ways. Now that you move in he wont even touch you, he has what he wants he is a user and abuser he will use you up and find another girl when ur broke. I really suggest you re-evaluate your life style and your needs, if he had nothing to offer you as a man he is not worth your time. He is using you sweety open your eyes, he wont even kiss you and it doesnt take that much effort to kiss no illness stops me from huggin and loving my man and same goes for him. You dont even like him, you are ranting about his issues, you obviously do not LOVE him cause you find all these problems that you do not want to fix or dont want to assosciate with. Seriously if he cant please you and he just uses you for his needs what the heck are you there for? His personal working slave? Come on girl set an example for those younger than you and grow some female balls and move out and do better for your self. Dont be that desperate to settle for something that is not perfect in your eyes and he is far from perfect in your own eyes so again what the heck man? You are worth more than that any body is so please do us all a favour and move on with your life with out him in it,
2007-01-29 18:40:47 · answer #3 · answered by TOokieTook 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you start adding the arsenic now to his food , it should only be a couple more months. Why would you advance in a relationship when the guy couldnt even handle his end of it ? Im a guy and ive noticed problems with ''ER'' whenever i had no attraction to the person i was engaging in sex with. this guy isnt giving back because he isnt with you because hes into you. im guessing you moved in, and so did your money. you must have self esteem issues to stick around this guy.both of you are on 2 different levels. email me if you wanna talk dirty ! ill patch ya up.
2007-01-29 18:50:22 · answer #4 · answered by swan5250 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he kind of trapped you...and although you care for him it's not right for him to do that to you. I imagine you are always helping with money and sadly that may be why he trapped you. You may be 46 but you aren't dead and you deserve to be fulfilled in life. I think it's time for you to move on and stop worrying about his medical state because that isn't your responsibility...if you were married to this man for 20 years and he took care of you for the majority of that time I would say that was different but he hasn't invested enough into you to become your responsibility. Good luck and be strong.
2007-01-29 18:43:01 · answer #5 · answered by chrissy757 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you actually sat down and told him everything that you have written here? Possibly he does have an illiness or is depressed.
But regardless, if you feel in your gut that you were conned into this move/marriage, then you should make arrangements to get out. There are products out there for ED without a prescrip. as well.
2007-01-29 18:44:58 · answer #6 · answered by soozemusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a possibility that he could be using you, since he doesn't seem that financially secure. Had the same problem once upon a time and now I'm very on guard when it comes to anyone.
2007-01-29 18:51:30 · answer #7 · answered by Nancy D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its time to move on.A relationship needs a lot of work but that doesn't mean it should burn you out.
Im sure there is sum1 out there who wants to give you the love and attention you need.
2007-01-29 23:19:54 · answer #8 · answered by Themby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u feel like dumpnig him dont feel guilty do what makes you hapy sounds like u got enough to be sad about with yuor illness w/out adding a unwanted bf to the pile. good luck!
2007-01-29 18:36:47 · answer #9 · answered by lady26 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have been moving to fast to jump into such a big commitment, he probably isn't everything that you thought he was. Its could be just infatuation, i think you should move out
2007-01-29 18:46:06 · answer #10 · answered by darkcutie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋