I just found out my husband has been cheating. i m heartbroken and dont know what to do. our entire relationship has been a lie.
2007-01-29 18:29:00 · 22 answers · asked by Heather0925 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he doesnt want to work it out. i m left with nothing...we have nothing, been in financial difficulty for awhile. i feel like i have no hope.
2007-01-29 18:36:24 · update #1
he actually cam e clean to me...finally..i had been suspecting for awhile, hes been with the one woman for quite some time. to make matters worse i just miscarried a few days ago... i m going through alot. my life doesnt make sense and it just hurts alot. i dont know how to move on or what steps to take from here.
2007-01-29 18:48:11 · update #2
i am sorry to hear that (virtual hug). It is time to move on and have a little time to yourself.
2007-01-29 18:32:52 · answer #1 · answered by phantom stranger 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay here are the question YOU SHOULD ASK YOUR SELF:
Well was it an affair or a one time deal?
Is this his first or was it a bunch others lines up b4 the one u figured out?
How did u find out, by your self or he told you?
Do you really want to be with him deep down inside enough to forgive him for his mischief or however u spell it?
Do you love your self enough to know you deserve better and how long have you been married VS how long has he been cheating on you?
What is it that you did not provide him that someone else is providiing him (ask him that one)?
THEN learn your lessons from this, maybe even cut all of his belongings if you want to be dramatic and revengful and call the other female and tell her that he was married hopefully she didnt know if she did what a major s-l-u-t-! THEN leave him for a while and gather your self and take time off get away go somewhere nice and hot maybe even have a fling if it would make u feel better( i know I would if it was me just so I feel like we are eve) sort of deal but dont do it if u dont want to I mean it might help u get over him so yeah.... let us know what happens sorry to hear that I know if my hunny cheated on me I would be cutting something very precious from him so u know each person handles it differently my last ex that i thought he was cheating on me I smashed all his car windows n stuff and broke his cell n what not... i am a very violent girl so if thats ur cup of tea go for it.... he deserves it for breaking ur heart.
2007-01-30 02:35:16 · answer #2 · answered by TOokieTook 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The cheating is one thing, but the trust that you will have to rebuild in your relationship is another. It seems that this is what you must think about most...do you feel you can forgive, but also forget. It is important that you seek counseling for yourself because you are in a fragile state. I know that the miscarriage is probably devastating, but it may have been for the best since there are already issues in the relationship - you don't really want to bring a child, which means more responsibility and pressures in the long run. Trust me it makes it a lot more difficult. Best of Luck to you.
2007-01-30 03:05:24 · answer #3 · answered by TAS 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First decide if you want to work it out, then find out if he wants to work it out and how serious he is. Many marriages can be saved if BOTH people really want to make it work. It will take a lot of work but you can have an even stronger marriage after. If you both truly love one another and want to make this marriage work then don't give up. Men do really STUPID things and then realize sometimes afterward how bad they screwed up and would NEVER dream of doing something like that again. But first, you need to have a true heart to heart w/ yourself to decide if your willing to put in the work. Good luck! I'm sorry you had to go through this. Let your family and friends rally around you and support you in this tramatic time.
2007-01-30 02:43:12 · answer #4 · answered by melindagstl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need a good attorney, no joking matter.
If your entire relationship has been one lie like you said then what is the relationship based on? Not truth, oblivously.
Even though you may think you love him, you only love the people he was toward you, not the real person he is. Think of it that way. You will never again be able to trust him and will have difficulty trusting another man again. See counseling. It helps.
2007-01-30 02:33:14 · answer #5 · answered by LC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave. I have been in serious relationships where the man ended up cheating on me no matter how much I gave. The more I spent time with him and the more I gave to him, my heart just broke even more. You've admitted that your entire relationship has been a lie. Well, embrace the truth- embrace the fact that you deserve better than this and need to move on somehow!
2007-01-30 02:37:41 · answer #6 · answered by purringout 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear friend, put your hope in Jesus. Ask Him to come in your heart & fill you with His presence. I've gone through similar difficulty and it was in the Lord I found true peace, love & joy. Go to www.doersoftheword.org and the pastor there can give you free counselling and guidance.
In Jer 29:11-13
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Pray! Prayer is very powerful. Read "Power of a praying Woman" by Stormie Omartian. Very good book and I refer to it all the time.
God Bless you sister!
2007-01-30 10:49:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take some time apart or at least some time apart in the same house. Then you can think about what you really want to do without the urge to act only on emotion and be rash. Save the marriage and go to counseling or let him go.
2007-01-30 02:36:15 · answer #8 · answered by veni*vidi*vici 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard when we have our lives all planned out, just to realize that we hit rock bottom.
Take some time for yourself....to think about what you want.
Sometimes in life we have to give a step back in order to catch some wind to fly again
2007-01-30 02:34:48 · answer #9 · answered by ?Jaileen? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make him get out, throw his clothes out the door, change the locks and get a restraining order. If he has no remorse for his actions he deserves whatever gets. He maybe able shack up with the tramp he has been cheating with, if you care. You have self worth and value, he has neither.
2007-01-30 03:06:08 · answer #10 · answered by George B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
give him another chance if he want it
am facing the same problem am giving him another chance
and i will give him that for ever try to find first why did he go to another one don't look for it like alie or you will make the love die in your heart i know its bad and over than what can u stand if u really love him u will cry and cry but u will give him this chanse with all of hope that he will really succes in it
2007-01-30 03:49:07 · answer #11 · answered by Just me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋