This is a question mostly directed at straight women, and lesbians who have dated 'straight' women: I'm in love with a former collegue. She's 35 and 'straight' - but drunkenly admits to to me that she has crushes on women (though she takes it back again later). She knows to a certain extent that I have feelings for her, and seems to encourage this - since we met she has been constantly flirting, telling me how 'beautiful' I am, and constantly contacting me and inviting me to things. When we're out together her body language implies that she's flirting - lots of touching, eye contact, etc. But when I flirt back with her she seems to back-off, so I'm afraid to make a real move. She also seems to like to make a point of discussing her heterosexuality with me - talking about 'hot' men, heterosexual sex etc. She's an extremely sensitive and kind person, so it seems unlikely that she'd intentionally tease me. Do you think she's interested? Should I make a move or just wait and see?
Cheers!
2007-01-29 18:02:10 · 7 answers · asked by hannah 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I understand that the concept of ego-stroking can easily be applied to this situation. The thing that doesn't make sense, though, is that she is always to first to contact me. And when she invites me to things, they're always very thoughtful and interesting, and when we talk she seems to ask a lot of questions and take a genuine interest in me as a person - rather than just hanging out with me for attention and an ego boost.
2007-01-29 19:19:11 · update #1
Invite her to do something more personal with you. Come over the house and watch movies, just talk to her. Ask her straight up why she does waht she does. Tell how you feel about her.
2007-01-30 03:24:55 · answer #1 · answered by sweet_treat101 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Kinsey Scale 0 to 6
My friend, Ian, does the same thing. I think he's a level 1 or 2. As I think your 'friend' is....
0-straight, 1, 2, 3-bi, 4, 5, 6-gay
2007-01-30 02:23:32 · answer #2 · answered by hairy pouter 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There's only one way to find out.
Make your move.
If she declines you can honestly tell her that she is giving you mixed signals and to get it together.
It's not cool to flirt with physical contact and then pretend that it wasn't intentional.
She needs to grow up and accept responsibility for her end of this.
Otherwise she is just leading you on and that's not what you want, is it?
By keeping you on pins and needles this way she is preventing you from truly being open to a real relationship.
And allowing her to do it to you is pure folly.
2007-01-30 05:02:02 · answer #3 · answered by octopussy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, I think she just likes having you around because it builds her self esteem. I used to do this when I was in jr high, let a guy that liked me hang out with me. Move on, think Anne Heche. You cannot turn someone straight or gay
2007-01-30 02:11:05 · answer #4 · answered by jr90292 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but she's using you as an ego stroke. She likes it that you are attracted to her, but she has no intentions of letting it go farther than that. She is what we call a tease. I should know, I've done it. Many times. But to men, not women.
2007-01-30 02:58:29 · answer #5 · answered by Becca 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
ouch, I know what you mean. That is such a hard situation to be in. I would just wait. It'll be harder on you if you make a move when she's not ready and scare her off.
2007-01-30 02:11:06 · answer #6 · answered by Alias400 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all : I am a Lesbian who has dated Straight Women only.
I work with a Str8 Woman that I am in Love with BUT try to hide the way that I feel for her at times. This is NO Crush ....I have felt this way for a year now. She loves & gets off on my : compliments, teasing, asker her out etc...... Although I have never admitted to her that I am gay or how I feel - SHE HAS TO KNOW ! I dont think it bothers her BUT she flirts back & makes comments often that make me wonder. I think she is Curious ! Sometimes I just want to grab her & kiss her. It is true that 85% of ALL women have thoughts of a Same Sex relationship. For me ...I cannot practice what I preach because we work together BUT I would say - GO FOR IT ! Peoples true colors come out when they are intoxicated. Try & Kiss her - see what happens. I have a feeling that she will come around !
2007-01-30 10:31:36 · answer #7 · answered by whatamithinkin 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go ahead , she is waiting for positive signals from you.Rush into her passionately.
2007-01-30 05:36:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋