How can I survive high school?

Question

I'm a freshman in high school and it's been 5 months since school started and I still haven't made any friends. Everyday during lunch I go to an isolated place so I won't have to face the harshness of the other kids. The students at my high school are ALL stuck up, immature, stupid, care TOO much about fashion, and make lame comments. I've had people say, "Hey loner! How's your sad life! Haha." "Kevin's such a loser, he hangs out by himself." "You were talking to him?" "Don't talk to him, he's gay." and people who have walked up to me straight forward and insulted me. Whenever I need help like asking about homework and borrowing things I ask someone and they just say, "Do I know you?" (they do) and some just ignore me intentionally. Once during class while we were debating about a topic I just stated my opinion and one "cool" guy disagreed. Then 7 ignorant others just backed him up and insulted me for no reason. I'm popular for being a loser/loner, how ironic.

I don't want to be alone but I don't want to be friends with those people. Moving is not an option, so what can I do?

Answer 1

Dont't take all these comments to heart. Why dont u join a sports team or a society where u know u will excel - once u do that, excel I mean, all these guys will sit up and take notice.

Answer 2

I'm 36 years old now and I still remember a dream I had when I was only 4 years old. In the dream I was older...about 10 or 12, maybe. I was taller, anway. And I was walking my dog and in the background were school kids...a crowd of them playing together and "belonging" together. I was walking on the blacktop with my dog and feeling this strong sense of not belonging...not fitting in with those other kids. Now, keep in mind that this is something a 4 year old was dreaming and I had never been to school nor did I have brothers/sisters that were in school so I didn't know anything about school at that young of an age...except that I went to nursery school sometimes. But I believe that dream was a premonition of how my life would be, because it has been like that. I've always, always felt like an outsider...even when I became a little more outgoing. I was always a loner and had very few friends and the one or two that I thought were close, turned out not to be true friends in the end. Not until the last 10 years have I ever found a true, close friend. BUT...maybe the dream symbolized that I would stand out from the crowd in a sense. I always took it as a bad sign but just recently I'm thiinking it's meant to be more positive in that I don't fit in with most of these mean, hateful people on this earth. I am no angel...I have my faults but I'm not antagonizing and spiteful and evil like a lot of people on this planet. So...you just realize that you may be unique/special/outstanding in your own way and rise above the criticism. Those mean kids are probably unhappy in their personal lives and they're taking it out on YOU. Why else would they bother with you like they do ? Because they are mean and they are the ones with the problem. Kids did this to me. Called me pizza face when I had zits. I had kids picking on me since pre-school and even NOW at my age...people still pick at me on the job. They're just jealous and they're full of meaness and they see that I'm not and they're just green with envy. Same with you, I'm sure. Kids can be mean. You'll be okay. Don't let it get to you too much. It's hard, I know. Hang on...

Answer 3

It is the fact that rapport is the base of good communication. Perhaps you could just start to mirror them a bit and act up cool like them as to be not such an outsider anymore. Internally you can stay who you are.
So mirror the way they move and their face expression and try this for a couple of days. Find some books about rapport building on the Net and buy it. Best NLP based.
Sure if you really do not like them as friends you have to live with being alone, but there might be some nice people there. Plus do not give up. There are lots of people who experience what you do. Do not take it too personal. Find some interest for yourself too, something you love to do. Find out what on your behaviour could bring this reaction and change it and if you need help for that search help. If it is not your behaviour and they are just idiots, leave them, just know that this has nothing to do with you, but only with themselves. I know men who went through this in their youth and although it affected them up til now, they are in my view fantastic people, and this made them stronger and more independant. Do not let yourself get traumatised from it.

Answer 4

Hang in there. Learn to ignore these jerks. Yes I know typical answer. But I've been there trust me.

If there really is no one worth hanging out with do your own thing. Read, draw or whatever it is you enjoy during lunch. Who wants to hang out with shallow people. Sure it gets lonely. But chances are eventually you will find someone worth being friends with. Until then why deal with the drama when you can ignore the idiots and have peace.

I was a total outcast in high school. I know it can be rough. But I would rather be a freak than one of the sheep.

I married the loner from high school.

Life does gets better.

Try to make friends outside of school. Look for things to do in your community you enjoy. If you like Skateboarding hang out at skateparks, comic clubs are often held at libraries whatever your into. Search everywhere for things that have to do with your likes and hobbies and get involved. It's a great way to make friends from other schools.

Answer 5

Hon, I understand. Been there myself. I moved often and went to 3 different high schools around the country. I used to hide in the library during lunch hour.

Just remember that High School is a very small part of your life.
During High School you feel like it is the pinicle of your life. It isn't.

Try avoiding the mean kids. Also it is best to pretend that you aren't upset by them. They will move on and pick on someone else. They pick on the kids that respond to their meaness. When kids say "do I know you?" Say.......nope, but I still need to borrow some paper (or whatever)
Usually the bullies at school don't go far in life

Your best revenge is to be happy and sucessful. Hold your head up. .

Answer 6

If you are going to survive high school, you'll have to stop thinking about the many, many negative things surrounding you.
Help somebody. A teacher, a student, a janitor, a secretary. It makes us feel good to help others.

Use the negativity you encounter as an opportinuty to learn more about yourself and how you manage unpleasant situations. Use your time to learn about the world, people, psychology, anything that presents itself.

Don't waste any more time feeling like a fish out of water. People will always be cruel,especially kids. Their cruelty stems from a fear of things they do not understand. They do not understand a person like you, who stands up and is willing to be an individual. Ignorance motivates the young to do hateful things, so high school is torture for lots of people.

You sound like a very brave person. You don't conform to the norm. You don't cave in to pressure. There is a greatness in you that probably won't manifest until you are an adult. Some grownups are able to appreciate people like you because you have great potential. Others never change from the small minded people they are in high school.

One very important piece of life is missing for you: A sense of belonging. Belonging is so important we cannot
function and grow as humans without it. That's why we have gangs, churches, bars, clubs and other group hangouts. It is very important that you find someplace to belong. Look at your interests, hobbies, etc. Get together with a group of people who have interests in common with yours. If there's no group or club at school, start one. Talk to a teacher or counselor and ask them to be your club sponsor. They might know someone who likes the same thing you do. Put up flyers to join the club. Somewhere in your school is somebody who feels a lot like you do. Do you like music? Start a music club. Poetry? Start a poetry club, an environmental club, a reading club, a comic book club. A coffee club. Or you can look for something to do outside of school. Martial arts, skateboarding, surfing, or community volunteering at the zoo, an old folks home, a church, a library, an arboretum.

Most importantly, if you ever start to feel sorry for yourself, take a moment to put things in perspective. You probably live in the US, have a roof, a house to keep you warm in winter, clothes to wear, food to eat, money to spend, a school to go to, etc. There are a lot of people who don't have any of that. Some people don't have eyes, hair, toes, etc. Some people will die of Cancer or hunger today. Some people will die because other people don't inderstand them! Take a look at people who have it worse then you do. Know that you are of value. And realize that what a bunch of kids say to you or about you does not matter.

Answer 7

My dear,
You are going to face these challenges in school or not.
You just need to know how to deal with this little problem!
First of all if you start letting people pick and choose your life you are going to crash and burn!
YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERY ONE-
So start by pleasing yourself!
It's OK to beat to a different drum. Be your own person.
"If you like and want then it is your for the taking."
That is a lesson that won't be taught in any classroom, it comes from the heart and the brain.
Trust me!
You will be that person that you will Be proud of.
Better than any of those ones who are trying to mold you into their little web of ownership.
Just do what you want, in reason and be good to yourself.

Good luck and just remember -
You are you not Joe Blow down the road.
Take control of your LIFE!!!

And that my friend will get you through LIFE not just that school of hard knocks.

That is your lesson for today :)

Signed a mother's love ^j^ Sandra ^j^

Answer 8

High school can be tough...kids are cruel...but just do your best and you'll get through it. Also just find something you love doing and do that ...screw what others think. You have to be confident...work on building your own self-esteem and others will see the change in your character...and you don't have to hang out with the "popular" crowd. Find friends that are like you I'm sure there are some in your school. Keep your head up.

Answer 9

You'll live through high school with joy and laughter. You'll get your share of time to experience much harsher things in life when you are older. But now is the time to be free and worry-less.

Look around a little harder and you might see another guy that is not as sociable/extrovert as others, one who might prefer to be alone too but got mixed in the crowd. All you need is one good friend. It's better to have one good friend than hundred ordinary ones. If he's not in you school, he might be in your neighborhood.

The main thing is not to worry about what other people think about you. But you need to be a good actor in life, in general. So you might play their game but deep inside be what you really are. And then you might find that you could get along with one of the guys better, and the rest is history.

"Life must be lived as play." -Plato

Answer 10

People can be so cruel.
My advice is to visit some local churches. Get involved with a youth group. Ask God to lead you to the place he wants you to go. Warning, NOT ALL CHURCHES ARE THE SAME. You may find one where people could be cold and indifferent. Another one is warm and inviting! The main criteria is that they believe the Bible and in Salvation through Jesus Christ. They arent perfect, but it could really be a place of refuge and acceptance for you. Get to know their youth pastor if they have one. He/she is a great resource to help you thru this time in life. I will be praying for you!

Answer 11

wow sounds like when i went to school. i dont know if this will help but this is what i did. A. just be your self dont give in to fashion trends to look cool. B. try talking to some new people who started at the same time you did. C. if your school has clubs join avouple of them. D. Don't and I mean DON'T let their harsh words get to you.

Just be yourself and eventually someone will talk to you or if you see someone talking about or has something you like alot try talking to them about it. Finally all i have to say is have fun and dont let what other people say get you down just brush it off.

good luck.