Why is it that virginity is one of the biggest things I look at in a girl?

Question

I am a 20 year old Christian who is saving myself for marriage. I want to know why it is that I only like the girls that keep themselves for marriage. Is it because the bible says I need to be equally yoked and be a reflection of my wife?

Answer 1

That, or you just can't bare the thoughts of having your wife as leftover from other guys.

Answer 2

Because you actually hold a "grudge" towards the ones that are not a virgin like you. You have a belief to stay a virgin, but on the other hand your at war with your body that has needs and wants. Due to that fact you see a woman that gives in to these needs and wants without fighting that war to stay "pure" with jealousy. Because you want to give in to the needs, but your strong belief won't let you. If you get with a girl that is not a virgin you will resent her for having something you can't have, or didn't have.

There is also the fear factor. A lot of virgins, especially older ones, fear that if they get with someone with more experience they will be embarrassed, or their partner will dislike them because they do not know what to do and when to do it. So you will avoid that situation by seeking out someone that is on the same playing field as you.

I understand you have a belief and you are sticking to it, more power to you for that, but I think you are crazy to attempt that kind of old fashion tradition in this day in age. The majority of woman, including Christians, will not hold to this tradition, and will not marry before "testing the waters". Sexual compatibility is a strong bond in a relationship. If you are not compatible with some one sexually, it can make major problems. That is not something you want to find out after marriage.

Good Luck to you anyway, hope you find your match soon.....before you become too much older.

Answer 3

Because you are waiting, why should you cheat yourself by being with someone that didn't. Deep down I wouldn't be surprised if most guys wish they had a girl or are looking for a girl that has waited. It is normal to want to wait for that special someone, but the way sex is pushed as normal for kids they just go along with the program not realizing nor thinking about it until it is too late. Stick to your values and someday you won't regret it.

Answer 4

You have high standards for love, so you make sure the girl does too. It's really nice that you have this standard. But why is this desirable trait bothering you? Shouldn't it be a good thing, not a bad thing you have to fret about? Don't doubt the bible for it's moral teachings and just be greatful that you're not some playboy.

Answer 5

Because you want a woman who respects herself and understands how powerful and important sex can be and will therefore only have sex with you and not some cute guy from the gym etc. It shows a lot of character and high morals and values to abstain from sex until marriage, and there is nothing wrong with you having that as one of your criteria when finding someone to spend the last 80 years of your life with.

Answer 6

I haven't had sex yet, and I don't look specifically for a virgin. It's one of the last things I'd find out when getting to know someone.
But.... it's your wife...you are the one who will live with her for your married life.. so I guess you have the say in what qualifications she needs, right? Don't worry about it. If that's what you want, go for it.

Answer 7

Because it goes against ur whole being. U cant just change ur stripes to suit society- if u saving urself for marriage u deserve a women that has that same value-u respected.

Answer 8

i think thats messed up. youre telling me youve never sinned? what if your perfect soulmate decides that some equal sin youve comitted is something she cant live with?
god says no sin is greater than anther.

equally yolked is about not marrying into another faith, not about you judging someone based on their past actions.

i do give you that it is hard to save yourself if you are dating someone who is sexually active, but to ONLY like girls who are virgins?
what, do you ask them if they are virgins when you meet them? i mean, otherwise how would you know?

maybe youre scared, too. sex can be a scary thing. especially if you are with someone who has more experience than you.

god says not to judge others.
if you are so into christianity, then practice that. and practice the whole, loving your neighbor as yourself thing, too.
you wont be sinning by forgiving someone who has comitted a sin, you will be sinning if you dont.

p.s. to the person who thumbs downed me... way to go. a little truth is a bit too much to handle?

Answer 9

Or because you are shallow. I'm not a Christian and as long as he or she isn't diseased, I don't see why being a virgin is any big deal. The Gods gave us our bodies and the ability to enjoy them. I am very pleased to have handfasted to someone who had taken the time and partners to learn how to please me. He is happy that I did the same. So is our girlfriend.

Answer 10

I think it makes you feel validated for all the years you saved yourself. I personally think its silly! I have been head over heals for someone and as soon as we hit the sack it all went down the drain! sexual chemistry is very important in relationships!! And I dont think pre-marrital sex is a sin !!

Answer 11

You share more things in common with those girls than other ones, so you would naturally be attracted. Contrasting values and lifestyles rarely lead to relationships. Saving yourself shows your ability for committment!