I kicked him out 3 months ago, and got a restraining order against him. Since then, he's violated it 3 times and kicked in my front door. He says now, because I have a new "friend", that he is going to tell the court that I smoke green n do blow (both which i do occasionally). I have quit everything for the past 3 weeks so I'm not really too worried about it, I'm more worried that he is going to kill me! But what do you think, will the court even take him seriously given his history of domestic violence, criminal recod and mental health issues?
2007-01-29 17:30:09 · 14 answers · asked by lazy_n_spoiled 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Thats sad, children deserve better than you or your husband
2007-01-29 17:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by Dave ! 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Why isn't he in jail for the violations? I don't know where you live, but in most states are the first violation it becomes a misdemeanor. As far as the drug thing, when you have kids that means you have to be a responsible parent. That means no drugs. You are setting an example for them as you are the most important role model in their life. It is part of growing up. Sorry if that seems to be so harsh, but it is reality. I speak from experience in this. I used to smoke da herb darlin, but when it came time to be a parent, it was time to grow up and be a good role model for the kids. By the way, kicking in a door is considered domestic violence in pretty much every state.
2007-01-30 01:47:38 · answer #2 · answered by celticwarrior7758 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you spoken to a lawyer? Is the restraining order for him to stay away from the children too? If not, and there is no emergency custody order, if he is on the birth certificate he has as much right to them as you do.
The court will concern itself with what is in the best interest of the child when determining custody. Stay off of the junk and you will likely get them if he has a criminal record and mental health issues. If you don't stay off of the junk than both of you may have them taken away. Remember it takes a long time for mj to get out of your system (so no slipping up!).
For now, document EVERYTHING that happens. Put it in writing: date, time, what happened, who else witnessed it, etc. Call the cops, go to the hospital if something happens, etc. You need to keep a paper trail.
2007-01-30 18:08:28 · answer #3 · answered by bouchu77 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but the court probably will take him seriously. Despite his domestic violence, crime and psychiatric records, he is a man, and most judges are men. Men stick together, so the male judge will probably side with him against you.
There's also the fact that your ex knows you smoke marijuana and snort cocaine. It doesn't matter that you stopped 3 weeks ago, the judge will still see you as an unfit mother because of your drug use. The judge won't see your ex as an unfit parent, even though he's a drug user, because most judges are men and most male judges are sexist (they judge women by a much higher standard than men).
Your best bet is to go on the offensive - get your ex locked up before he can get to family court and try and take your kids away.
Since this guy is kicking in your door, it might not be that hard to get him arrested - but when you get him locked up, try your damndest to keep him locked up!
Meanwhile, enroll in a drug treatment program (you probably don't need it, but judges like to hear that you're in a program - so if it ever does get to court it will help your child custody case a whole lot if you're already in treatment!)
Good luck!
2007-01-30 01:37:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well why should we take you honestly? You got rid of your psycho husband only three months ago and you are already having a "friend" over, how many do you have, or have you had? And you are using drugs, nice!!! YOUR CHILDREN SHOULD COME FIRST! Don't worry about men or drugs, worry about them and help them through this horrible time in their lives. I would take your children from you too, you are unfit as well from what you have wrote. Get your priorities in order or you will lose your kids. And a word of caution: maybe you shouldn't post on Yahoo that you use drugs, can come back to bite you in the butt if your husband so chooses to do so! Both of you sound nuts!
2007-02-03 00:05:35 · answer #5 · answered by Rhode Island Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Even if he tells the court you do drugs, you can prove your clean and even go to AA and the courts will look upon you as the better parent. A history of domestic violence, criminal record and mental issues can't be cleared up by going to meetings. He's just trying to scare you to control you.
2007-01-30 01:35:55 · answer #6 · answered by uknowme 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
By the sounds of it, you both can get your child taken away from you. If you are doing illegal drugs in your home in the presence of a child that's grounds for social services to take your child away. If you have any respect for your child you'll seek treatment and quit doing drugs. That's horrible. Think about how you would feel having a Mom doped up all the time and having her "new" friend over. So selfish!
If you cheated on your ex then he's probably pissed off. I know drugs probably led you to get involved with someone else. If your ex has anger problems, he isn't safe around the kids either. Maybe you should give your kids the opportunity to live a normal life by giving them up for adoption until you can kick your habits.
2007-01-30 01:38:10 · answer #7 · answered by AmandaHugNKiss 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Do your kids a favor. Put them with relatives until you kick your drug habit and have your issues with your ex-husband resolved. Also get a LARGE can of pepper spray. If he breaks in again, let him have the whole can.
2007-01-30 04:16:53 · answer #8 · answered by forgivebutdonotforget911 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he may be able to get your kids taken away since you sound like you are an irresponsible parent (doing "green n do blow"), but he won't get them and if you are going to act that way neither should you. Go a year with out drugs, and set a good example for your kids. And please don't use the grand excuse of "I did it and I turned out fine." cause obviously you didnt.
2007-01-30 01:43:25 · answer #9 · answered by anonomama 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Even with his problems I'd still make sure I keep my nose clean if you know what I mean. It's just not worth the risk.
2007-01-30 01:38:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope but I'd stay away from the stuff and let it be a lesson, be prepared for a test. No courts will grant him them as long as all this is recorded.
2007-01-30 01:34:19 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋