A question for swingers?

Question

My husband wants to become one. He says it was just a thought but I know him. Will it hurt are marriage to do this? The thought of hot guys oh yes I would go for it but not if it is going to pull us a part.

Answer 1

It takes a very strong marriage to endure the swinger lifestyle. Neither party can be remotely jealous of the other. Both parties should also have limits and boundaries set between you before anyone else is invited to your relationship. It has to be decided before-hand what is acceptable and what is not.

Most importantly, if you do decide to take on this lifestyle, make sure you set plenty of time aside for just the two of you. Even if you do decide to invite others into your life, make sure your relationship is numero uno - always.

Always be honest with each other about everything, down to the last detail. Talk about everything. Communication is the key to making any relationship work, especially this kind.

Answer 2

We were swingers for a while with some good friends. Over time one of us or the other wanted to have the encounters more than the other, and that is usually when there was issues.

We really enjoyed opening up to the idea and we all explored our bisexual sides, which was fun and exciting. But in the long run it seemed to hurt our relationship with our friends.... Time and time again 1 out of the group was bothered about something, so it just didn't work out.

It sure was fun and we do think about it from time to time, but it probably would be a vegas like situation!!!

You have to consider how you will feel about different situations, set some ground rules if required and see how it goes!

Answer 3

Set some ground rules before you do ANYTHING. Make there be somethings that you two only do together. (Such as penetration, anal, or oral. You aren't allowed to do this when you are with another couple) This will keep something special.
Also, keep it a 'sex only' thing. Don't swing with friends, coworkers, or others that you may see on a regular basis. It will make things REALLY uncomfortable, especially if it is a single attractive male/female.
Don't bring strangers into your home, either. Motel rooms work best, at least until you have a casual relationship developed with him/her/them.
Last but NOT AT ALL LEAST, keep safety in mind. Always tell someone where you are going, and who you will be with. If you don't want to tell anyone because you are in the closet about this, record it on your answering machine. This is in case you and hubby disappear, or things get a little out of hand. I know that this isn't a good view to leave you with. I want you to know that most swingers are clean and safe and they are just looking for a good time.

OH, and have fun!

Answer 4

Swinging will not fix a bad relationship, but it sure won't hurt a good one.

Or as one non-swinger friend put it after attending several swinger parties with my wife and I:

"Swinging is the icing on the marriage cake. But, if all the ingredients aren't in the cake to make it solid, then all the icing in the world won't keep it from crumbling."

Basically, if you are secure in yourselves, in each other, and in your relationship, and the idea of not only you having hot sex with someone besides your spouse makes you hot, but the idea of your spouse also having hot sex with someone else makes you hot, then you'll not have any problems swinging and it will probably even enhance your relationship. You to are embarking on an adventure together.

Swinging is something done by a couple FOR the couple. It it something that both of you get something from and thus it enhances your life together as a couple.

Now, if the opposite is true, then no. Swinging may not be for you. If either of you are getting into it strictly for the idea of "getting some strange" and you're offering-up your spouse as a sacrifice so that you can get some, then you are headed for disaster. This is the selfish reason some get into swinging, and the reason many of those on the outside looking in think everyone gets into swinging for.

Those that have been in the lifestyle for awhile will tell you that's just not the case. We've seen such couples come and go. Those that tried to "fix" their marriage by trying swinging, or they did it because they were bored with each other, or one member of the relationship coerced more manipulated the other one into it. For these people swinging raises more problems then is solves.

For those that do it successfully, they got into it because it was a natural extension of their already great sex life and love for each other. It is living-out each other's fantasies together. The idea of their spouse's world getting sexually rocked is as big a turn-on as the idea of their world getting sexually rocked. Their spouse's sexuality is not a threat to them.

That's why we got into swinging. Our marriage was already very good. And we had great sex together... all the time too! We also both had similar fantasies that required more than two people to fulfill. So it was kind of a natural progression of our sex life. Or better said, a natural extension of our sex life together. When we swing, we are partners in crime. We are having a great time together. And knowing that each other is having a great time and that each of us is the major reason for that is a great feeling in of itself.

Now, you'll get allot of responses here on Yahoo! Answers from those that know nothing about swinging, but feel they should impose their personal fears, biases, and self-righteous morality upon you. Some just fear that kind of openness with their partner. That's okay. Not everybody is emotionally equipped to open-up their relationship like that. It's good that people know their limits and live within them.

Others just feel putting others down with faux morality elevates themselves. These people are just tormented insecure folk that need that to justify themselves.

So, for some real honest and objective information about swinging I urge you to check-out The Swingers Board http://www.swingersboard.com . There you will find open discussion forums that are always active with those just thinking about swinging, those just wading-in, and veteran swingers alike. You'll also find a Swinger Advice section and Frequently Asked Questions with some really good basic information.

Oh, and I applaud you for having such an open attitude about it, and actually looking into it with an open mind and not just shutting him down. You're husband is a lucky person to have you as his partner.

Answer 5

Well commenting on it as someone who has been there I can honestly say that it can cause damage to your marriage. There are a lot of jealousy issues to deal with on both of your parts. It can also create a distance between you that does not exist now because it changes your focus and your attentions. There are people who live this lifestyle successfully and remain happily married through out the whole thing. My feelings though are that most couples would find it difficult to live a swinging lifestyle. If you decide to go ahead my advice would be to take it slow and talk it out. You should both be ready end all outside relationships if either of you wants to stop living the swinging lifestyle.

Answer 6

Both of you would have to be willing to deal with a lot of new emotions and ideas. If either of you are jealous in any way, it will ruin your marriage. If neither of you are jealous it can be fun. Are you really ok with shareing your man sexually? Is he ok with shareing you? Are you willing to be with other women? If all is ok with both of you then have fun. It's a personal choice. Be safe.

Answer 7

I have that fantasy 2 men and me :),that means my husband,a quite guy and me.

But I hear that is better that you do not know the person and that Las Vegas is a nice place that even you can choose one person,pay him/her and everybody goes on with their lifes.

Answer 8

I think it would break you guys up because he would always ask if he was better than the other guy and that would bug him and also it's wrong why not just divorce and find someone who will just want you instead of another.

Answer 9

this is what will happen. He wants to go out and screw around and this is his way of doing it and its "OK" with you. If he thought you might like to do the same with another guy he would probably change his mind real quick.