Can I single mom it with a newborn and a 6 year old by myself?

Question

My husband is overseas at work and it doesn't look like he'll be hom in time for the baby to be born. Is it possible to have the baby and come home and take care of my newborn (just after labour) and my 6 year old by myself? We just moved here this summer and so I don't know alot of people yet.. but I am sure my daughter can have a sleep over for a few days at a school friends. I really don't want my family as they cause me stress and I don't know how I'd cope with stress at this time.. I'd rather do it alone... could I do that?

Answer 1

Well, my mother did it...but she is one of these crazy workaholics. I was delivered via C-section. My mother also had a partial hysterectomy at the same time. My father was called away on business for several weeks so my mother was home alone with me (the newborn) and my sister who was fifteen months old at the time. You do what you must do. You'll rise to the challenge.

Answer 2

Do you remember how stressed you were when you came home from the hospital with your daughter? Imagine that, only worse because you'll have no help whatsoever being that your husband isn't there to help you out. Do you have any friends that could help you? If not, I know family can be stressful (don't even get me started, one word: in-laws), but you'll need someone to help you. Let them know that this is a stressful time for you and how you want things done. Stress the fact that if things aren't done the way you would like them to be, that it would only cause you more distress, and you'd rather do it alone than be caused that. They should understand. I'm going to do something similar when I go to have my daughter (6-weeks to go!), so that my in-laws don't drive me completely insane. Good luck and congrats!

Answer 3

My husband was home for the delivery but had to go back over seas when she was 3 days old. It was just me w/ a newborn and a 2 and a 1/2 year old. You wouldn't believe how strong you can be when you have to be. I was in alot of pain after delivery (the result of a huge baby), but once my husband left most of the pain did too. Its amazing what you can do when you HAVE to do it. I had to go grocery shopping when the baby was only a week and a half old, I had to bring both to doctor appts. in the first couple of days, I had to bring my older out to socialize w/ other kids. I don't know how you do it you just do. I hope this helps, I know it seems real scary to think about now but when the time comes you'll go in to overdrive and you'll be fine.

Answer 4

You can do it...but let me make a suggestion that you may have not considered. Instead of family since they stress you maybe there is a highschool student that you can hire to come over for a couple hours after school so that you can nap, clean, relax. The teen can play with the 6 yr old and maybe even keep an eye on the baby for you.

Answer 5

I know the feeling... You could however ask your family for help and have an actual list of things you want them to do... especially if it takes a lot of effort like laundry, or going out of the house like groceries, etc. You could even ask them if they are able to drop off a meal or something... Keep them busy, and maybe they won't have a real chance to stress you out. Tell them you don't just want them stopping by, but that there are things you need help with and what would be a good time to come by then hand off the list when they get there. (just know that they may want a little bit of time with the baby in return!!!) If you do decide to enlist their help, just be prepared to tell them you're "getting tired, you'd like to just rest now" and that they can go now.

Answer 6

Yes. Every single solitary deployed military unit has a support group made up of spouses. Call your husbands company/batalion commander and find out when they meet. When you get there, you will already have a HUGE thing in common. I'm certain they will be more than willing to help. Also, chuch. Go there, Churches are notorious for being nice to their parishoners, or so I hear. But the first suggestion is probably better.

Answer 7

Yes u can, my husband was in the service and went on west pac curises where I would see him for 9 months at a time and
I would take care of 2, 3 and 4 kids at a time. So yes u can u will
be fine u will learn when to take naps, feed them, etc. Just start a pattern and stick to it, it will be tough at first but u will be ok!

Answer 8

You're not alone. At six years old I'm sure your daughter will be mommy's little helper. As long as you are not having a c-section you should be fine. It's always a good idea to at least have a couple people you can call on if ever you need help though. Just to help out from time to time. We all need that. Overall though, you'll be fine.

Answer 9

I recommend you check in with a local church or some other group of folks who can offer you help. (Even your local Health and Human Services office may have some child/infant/respite care offerings)

If the birth goes like clockwork and you have no problems, you still wouldn't normally be allowed to even drive for several weeks. If there are any complications at all, then you're going to be ill-prepared to take care of things if you don't plan ahead for having help on hand.

Of course, you wouldn't be the first person to do it on your own... But the smart money is on having help in the wings, in case you need it.

I wish you the very best of luck.

Answer 10

YES, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO. CAN YOU ALSO LOOK TO SOMEONE IN CHURCH TO HELP OUT? TELL THE 6 YEAR OLD THAT THEY ARE GOING TO BE YOUR SPECIAL HELPER, AND GET THEM INVOLVED AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. THIS WILL KEEP THEM BUSY AND MIGHT POSSIBLY GIVE YOU SOME TIME TO NOT RUN AROUND LIKE A CHICKEN. REST WHEN THE 6 YEAR OLD IS AT SCHOOL AND THE BABY IS NAPPING. GET A SNUGLI AND CARRY THE BABY AROUND WHEN YOU ARE DOING HOUSE CHORES. MAKE MEALS AHEAD OF TIME AND FREEZE THEM FOR EASY TAKE OUT AND THAW DINNERS.
HOPE THESE SUGGESTIONS HELP.