trouble with being sexual with him.?

Question

I was so hurt to find out my boyfriend used porn.. He says he does'nt anymore but he does not seem to have any sexual desire for me.

I am frustrated, doubtful, shy to be naked because he does'nt look at me anymore like he used to. I feel it is not me that he wants, but a young, new, and "not hurt" woman. I feel that he thinks I am beautiful, but intellectually. Like.. She is very beautiful.. but I love porn !!!

I have talked to him about it and he tells me that there is always a tension, that he cannot "always" look at me. (I do want so much of his attention because I know he's given it to lots of women), and he does'nt feel like having sex with all that tension.

I am so hurt.. and I don't know how to be sexy anymore, or initiate sex. If I do get sexy for him, I am sure he will be receptive (maybe because of his guilt feeling)..

Is it possible for a man to lose his desire.. and have it again..Or is it like when love dies, it's over ? Any ideas how I can get my confidence back? Thx

Answer 1

You were hurt when he used porn- is this a chick thing? Or a morality thing? I'm sorry, but as a guy, I don't have a problem with porn.

If he had a shoe fetish, would you insist he suddenly give up his shoe collection?

Oh well- he has no porn, or he does and is hiding it and feeling EXTRA guilty. How do you get things going again?

Well, there are some photographers that specialise in "boudoir" photography. How would you feel about posing for some special photos, just for him?