how can i stop letting people get to me?

Question

I'm a senior in high school ... i only have a few months left untill i graduate... so i have a question... over the summer me and this guy broke up .. we went out for 2 years.. the worst mistake in my life.. i ruined myself dating him, but it was my faught and i have worked very hard this year to put everything back together.... a old couple that we use to hang out with just had there baby they are 18 !!!! i left my ex because i want to finish high school and go to college... how can i tell myself to let the past go and that it wasn't worth it with him, and that i should be thankful i'm not a mom at 18 ...any words of adivce? thanks

Answer 1

Don't look back! Just focus. Turn and walk. You've got at least 4 yrs of college if that's what your gonna do. Four years from now what will you be doing? Graduationg from college with a degree and standing proud. Or back with the "Loser Towny Guy" and a mommy with now substantial income. Living in a run down apartment or with your parents! Will he support you and your baby like you should be NO I DON"T THINK SO!!!!! You know there are better things in store for you and you should focus on them and let it happen!!!

Answer 2

Going to college sounds like an answer in itself.

Honestly, I can't tell you how messed up I was when I left home to go to University, and within a couple of months I'd pretty much sorted myself out, just through having a new focus in life, new friends, greater responsibility for myself... I reckon that by this time next year, when you look back on your time with your ex, you'll find you've let go of everything and it won't worry you at all.

OK, maybe that doesn't help for right now. But really, I think this is one of those things that only time can resolve - a pain in the ****, I know, but there it is.

And I don't believe for a minute that you 'ruined yourself', and you shouldn't believe it about yourself either. You sound like a really nice person who's just having a bit of a hard time at the moment. I hope you feel better soon.

Answer 3

You have to do exactly what you are doing and that is recognise the fact that you made a mistake and things could have been much worse than they are. Move on and don't dwell as you are only 18 and before you are finished you will make many mistakes in live, but the biggest crime of all is to not try, and because of that make no mistakes. By doing that you also miss out on the achievements and wonder of things when they come together. Look at the girls who have gotten pregnant and pat yourself on the back for not being one of them. The world is out there so go get it.

Answer 4

First of all, kudos for wanting to go to college.
That's the first thing - if you have goals, make sure that they come first.

You don't owe anything to anyone except yourself (and maybe your family somtimes :-) )

Speaking from experience, high school years ARE NOT the Best Years of Your Life, as so many have said.

So don't sell yourself short.

You're going to have to just take a breather and really hang out with FRIENDS or FAMILY - and I'm talking about anyone who ACTUALLY cares about you.

Some people are emotional vampires - they just suck the life and energy and happiness out of you. Try to seek the people who make you laugh and feel good about yourself.

Forgetting about people who are bothering will soon follow.

Hope this helps.

Answer 5

You should try to focus on the things you have ahead of you. You are about to start a whole new journey in your life. You will be meeting new friends and new boyfriends and you will go through so many changes in college. It is sometimes hard to let go of the thing in the past. Learn to treasure the experiences you've had and take from them the positive lessons you have learned. Be excited for what lies ahead for you and never look back!

Answer 6

Trust in the Lord! I ask God to get you through, what the devil wants to take from you. Pray, Pray on it! Trust me it works. Learn to ignore people. If you ignore them, guess what it gets to them. A person will do what ever they can to get to you! your young and going to college. College is the best time of your life. That person will always wonder what you are doing in college. Christmas break when you come home, invite a male home .. boy will they be jealous. Girl you do not need any kids right now!! Live your life! You will appreciate being a mother if you wait, better yet appreciate waiting for the real love of your life! Pray, find a good church guy!

Answer 7

There are stages of grieving: denial, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Me? Right now im in between depression and acceptance over a past relationship. It's a long process I've been through. It's been two years since my breakup. I've learned that whenever I tried to hasten my recovery it gets all the worse because I have to get past through every stage and I just have to be courageous enough to tell myself that "i failed". When I look at the people around, my classmates getting pregnant, girls crying over cheating or uncaring boyfriends.. I do feel thankful but mostly I am thankful that God was wise enough to arrange things so that me and my boyfriend would breakup because if GOd did not, I could still be one of these girls. I take comfort in knowing that God loves me and He is there for me because He cares. Sometimes we know what's real but we can't face it because it hurts. I know it was a failed relationship. I've learned to stop putting all the blame on him and seeing the fact that we are both not worth it. God has better plans. Sometimes you just have to move on and stop looking back.

Answer 8

It's okay. There will always be gray answers in life, nothing is black and white. So it stands to reason there will be a part of you that will keep saying you are letting the best thing in your life fly out the window. In reality you realize you want the ability t stand on your own. Good for you!
I wish more seniors would think like this.
So keep on walking down the road gal, your prince charming is somewhere down there waiting for you.

Answer 9

Well honey to start with thank god you were not the one having a baby if anyone knows its me i had a baby at 14 im 29 now and she just turned 14. Life is hard enough without relationships weighing you down go out and follow your dreams there is plenty of time for men and kids later. MY BEST ADVICE IS FROM MY GRANDFATHER THERE ARE TWO LESSONS IN LIFE THE FIRST ONE IS DONT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF SECOND IS EVERTHING IS SMALL STUFF YOU CANT GO WRONG LIKE THAT AS LONG AS YOU ARE HEALTHY NO PROBLEMS

Answer 10

You have made mistakes, but you can overcome them by focusing on your future. So far, you are headed in the right direction. Stop blaming yourself for things that happened in the past.

You are doing the right thing for yourself by wanting to finish school and go to college. You will never forget the past, but you can let it go by thinking about your future. If you keep the past with you and keep blaming yourself for what happened in the past, you will have some problems ahead of you. And, I am sure ou don't want that either.

So, give yourself a pat on your back and keep telling yourself, "I am finally doing the right thing for 'me'". And don't give up on yourself, you can do anything, if you put your mind to it. (smile)