i know i can't control their thoughts but i am still greatly affected by what other people think and it lowers my self esteem a lot. What should i do?
2007-01-29 16:30:09 · 19 answers · asked by forgetmenot 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
This is normal. Most people do. Do NOT worry about yourself worrying about what other people think of you.
If everyone doesn't care about what other people think of them, they may do things other people don't really like, sometimes they may even do things that will hurt other people.
What should you do? Just continue to be yourself, if you still care about other people, it's good, you at least do things other people approve of.
2007-01-29 16:43:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know already. To be frank (and not unkind) you cant read. The comment you make about 'everything thats wrong' stems from your reading ability being poor. The only way to address this is to seek help with your reading. Depending on the wealth of your parents you may be able to afford to hire a tutor, but if not, seek out some friends or family who you can talk to about it and ask them for their help. AND you were abused as a kid, sound to me like you have some self esteem issues as a result of this treatment. Possibly this is why reading became a trial in the first place. So, give yourself a break, ok. Keep trying, figure out how to improve your reading and, enjoy your parents love for you. As to your sister getting more freedom. I dont know the situation, but if this is a real truth, maybe you can talk to your parents about it. I have this feeling though that its more about you feeling down at the moment and looking at things to prove to yourself that "...just everything is wrong...". It will pass. You take care, hang in you've taken the first step. Have a great future.
2016-03-15 02:10:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, It seems as though the hard part is over. You know it really shouldn't matter what they think. But we ALL do let it concern us.If it is your physical appearance that bothers you, change it. Wear less/more makeup.Have your nails done, new hair style, etc.Make yourself feel better. Don't do it for them. If you think it is because of your beliefs, attitude, etc, just keep in mind that we all have personal likes and dislikes and that's the way it should be. You are just as important with your thoughts as they are with theirs. The only one whom you should be concerned with is yourself.You can't change their way of thinking so don't even try. Be the best you can be for your own good and then be happy with that!The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more likely people will be comfortable around you.Good Luck
2007-01-29 16:48:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think long and hard about one or two people who you know have opinions worth caring about... perhaps a grandparent or neighbour... a teacher from school... someone who has a lot of integrity and dignity,,someone who liked you a lot and offered sensible guidance and support... this person.s is your mentor... a yardstick to measure things against..
Now when you do anything you have a yard stick to measure your behaviour, attitudes and feelings against..
When you make a decision you can nnow say okay what would, let's say Grandpa, have done? How would he handle this? What would he think of me?
Honestly by only measuring your actions and feelings and attitudes against someone you like and admire who actually likes and cares about you is the best way around worrying what others think... If you must worry what others think then worry only about what one or two others think... and make them people whose opinions are worth caring about...
2007-02-02 06:48:34 · answer #4 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly .... you need to ask yourself a few questions
ARE you a decent kind of person ?
Do you care about others ?
Are you honest ?
Do you work hard?
THEN .. if you answer YES to these questions .. you need to consider WHAT DOES IT MATTER WHAT OTHERS THINK...
I am not saying that blindly either .. as I have been where you are .. and DO understand .. BUT .. have faith in WHO you are.. and then you will eventually realise that if people are spending TOO much time THINKING about you .. then they have too Much time on their hands ..
There's a quote that goes along the lines of " I ONCE USED TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THOUGHT OF ME UNTIL I REALISED HOW SELDOM THEY ACTUALLY DID"
once we realise we are not the prime foccus of others .. we're better for it ....
You'll be fine .. I have faith in you :)
2007-01-29 20:19:38 · answer #5 · answered by ll_jenny_ll here AND I'M BAC 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You'd be surprised that many people don't think of others because they are busy thinking about what others think of them! Anyhow, I'd say pick up a good book on boosting self confidence and just stop worrying.
- Ana :)
2007-01-29 16:42:43 · answer #6 · answered by lovenlight07 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not worry for any account at all. I suggest the following points. Try implementing it.... you will get your desired results.
1) Learn to respect and accept what you are.
2) Never worry, because by worring you are only harming yourself, without reaching the goal.
3) Its impossible to please everyone, so the best.... please yourself
4) Be natural and original.. in this there is greater happiness and satisfaction.
5) Love..... because love is such a language that even tames the most savage and wild animals.
6) Never bet your self respect for others.. no matter who it may be.
7) God has created you because you are important.
8) Always attempt to consolidate and focus on all your strong points and constantly strive to eliminate all your negative points in yourself and in your lifestyle too.
Wish you Good Luck!!
2007-01-29 16:59:03 · answer #7 · answered by Yellowstone 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its all about confidence really. Like for me, Ive always had a hard time with that to... I always cared way to much about what people thought. Im 17 now, and I still have problems with that, But then I think to myself.. "I know im pretty, I know i have a great personality, and If people dont like me then that is their problem, its no skin off my back"
For example... I got my car taken away a couple weeks ago, and my sister had to pick me up from school.. well.... one day she decided to be a c0ck a$$ and not come get me.. so I had to WALK home.... I was very angry... and ofcourse here comes a bus full of kids pass me while im walking... I was humiliated at first, but then I was like... why do I care what these kids think?????.... I shouldnt!!! They can sit there and be like.. "ew, what a skank.... shes walking home" But I know im not.. so it reallly doesnt matter...
the point is.... You know who you are, if you ARE gross... then, welll..... work on it.. but if you know ur a good person, then just learn to be ok with yourself... :)
2007-01-29 16:34:45 · answer #8 · answered by Chris L 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
do something that you think you would be good at.
you need positive input to get a positive look on life.
of course people are always judging you on your looks and actions
keep high standards high and don't hang out with loosers
birds of a feather flock together
Sometimes you have to march to the beat of a different drummer.Its your life don't let the world pull you down!
2007-01-29 16:47:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to rid yourself of ancient morality. understand that these are Agnostic times and you are in an Agnostic society. When you're in a social situation, do what needs to be done. If you're there for connections, get phone numbers. if you're there for a girl, get a girl. if you're there to kill someone, kill them. it's all the same. you're not there to be happy, you're there for a reason.
don't act like other people. understand you have a unique mission, and you're going to do it your way. if you go in knowing your mission is different, you won't care what they think of your deviant action.
2007-01-29 16:55:14 · answer #10 · answered by croato87 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋