How do you get a 4yr old to stop yelling when she speaks?

Question

She is very smart and does not have a hearing problem, but no matter how many times a day she is told she cannot seem to remember to lower her voice. It's really starting to become a problem. How do we break her of this?

We tell her probably at least 30 times a day. We've tried saying it every way under the sun.

Answer 1

Well, you could try speaking very quietly yourself. Encourage "inside voices" and always remain very calm. Use positive language ("we speak quietly" instead of "don't shout") and give encouragement that tells her how pleasant it is when everyone is talking quietly. Create a reward system for going an hour where she doesn't raise her voice... give her a token (like a gold star she can stick on a chart herself), and if she gets 3 tokens in a day, she gets a reward (something she likes). Once she starts earning the rewards, make more tokens necessary, and make the reward a little larger. Make sure to give her some outdoor time where she can be loud if she really seems to need to. If all this doesn't help, she could have auditory processing difficulties, which aren't the same as a hearing problem.

If she's in preschool, contact the school where she'll be going for kindergarten and ask if you can talk to the school psychologist about auditory processing. Or wait until the kindergarten screening... the school psychologist will usually be there, or more likely the special education teacher, who will also know what you're talking about to some extent.

Answer 2

well if you want a ultimate behaviorist way of doing it then hitting her will be the way to go. however, if you are compassionate for your daughters feelings and projective mental states then you wont. you could just acknowledge that this is her personality and instead of trying to change her to your liking embrace her quirkiness. however, this too can be maladaptive because it's complete disregard for others. so you could try a peaceful but frank and stern approach. don't yell or gripe at her when she yells, give her some attention and say something short like "hey" or "listen" sternly with no real anger or frustration behind the voice as that can be 1. frightening and 2,. rewarding to the beh. if that doesn't work then just let her run about and work off that excess energy.

Answer 3

I would probably be tempted to say loudly "I AM SORRY DEAR BUT I CAN"T HEAR YOU because you are speaking tooooooooooooo loudly"( letting my voice get softer and softer every time she asked a question she wanted answered until she learned to speak softly. Show her the difference between being loud and speaking softly. This can be done in a nice way.

Answer 4

She might be using yelling as a way to be heard. It obviously works very well. Sometimes, kids learn these behaviours from other family members.Teach by good example, remind her and have her repeat what she yelled in her indoor voice and give her praise for the behaviour. Be consistent. If it doesn't work right away, give it more time like 2 weeks. Observe other family members interactions. Give her more one on one attention. Sometimes, negative attention beats no attention. Have a great year.

Answer 5

Children imitate what their parents, siblings or peers do. The act of yelling or speaking loudly must have been learned at some point while growing up. You should find the source (person possibly responsible) who might have contributed to this behaviour. Say that it was grandma who likes to yell, then sit her down and explain to her that she ought to watch her tone especially infront of your girl. It would be difficult if it was an external source. I guess you could also use positive reinforcements like praising her whenever she speaks in a normal tone. I used this technic with my baby cousins : I would ignore them whenever they speak loudly and hug and praise them whenever they speak softly. That really worked coz till now, they'd speak very politely (towards me at least ;)

Answer 6

You can try leading by example by speaking softly- maybe she will learn there's no reason to speak so loudly. Also, when dealing with children, try to state things in the positive. Try telling her "speak lower" opposed to "stop yelling".
I'd also like to encourage you to get her hearing checked, b/c it could be possible that she speaks so loudly b/c it's the way she wants to hear things.

Answer 7

Play the whisper game with her. Only whisper to her and tell her she has to whisper back .(Stage whisper not in the ear). 4 -6 year olds go through this loud stage.Either it is because they get excited or because they sometimes have to be heard over siblings, adults, tv etc.When she starts to talk loudly, stop her and say "I can hear you better if you talk softly" And make sure you talk to her softly also.Sometimes they talk loud to get your attention. Try looking directly at her while she speaks when you ask her to talk softly. Good Luck.

Answer 8

Crouch down to her level put your hand on her shoulder and tell in your even tone that it is not neccesary to yell that she needs to speak as quietly as mommy is or mommy is going to start yelling to. Ask her if she likes it when mommy yells or talks normal, hopefully she says normal. Of course it will take more than one time to do this to start working.

Answer 9

If you address your child at their level, meaning height, they will not be intimidated, or feel that they only way they can communicate is by yelling, stuttering, crying, etc. Try it it works, Let them know that you can see them eye to eye

Answer 10

wow. not a hearing problem? well, there are child guidance counselors. check your local hospital or mental health agency.
its not unusual to have this condition as my wife is 55 years and I can't get her to pipe down either.

She could be a very good drill instructor in the military/??