why does my mother act like this?

Question

She is constantly yelling at me for something, even stuff i have no control over. When my brother does something wrong, i get in trouble, never him. It always seems as if i can never do anything right and i will never be good enough for her. I have cryed myself to sleep many a nights because of things she has said to me. Like once she told me that if my brother had been born first, i wouldnt be here. which makes me think she never wanted me and still doesnt. i cant wait until i go to college because i will finally get away from her and i will never ever come back.

Answer 1

really, well i am very sorry for you, when i was young i HATED my mom, i told her so, she was mean to me like that to, i hated her till i was 22 when my dad passed away, when he was sick i would pray that it was her not him that was sick, but then i needed her and she needed me, and now 8yrs later i love her more than any thing in the world, be sides my two brothers. but perhaps if you talked to her, and told her that you love her, but you cant stand her, and wish that she would leave you alone for a bit so that you can think, perhaps she will get the picture, but don't be extreme, i mean don't be mean back, just show her that you care for her, but you don't like how she is treating you.

Answer 2

oh boy. Your mother sounds very immature.

I would like you to make up your mind to NOT repeat her behavior. She most likely has learned this behavior from her past. Sometimes a kid has to be more mature than the parent. That sucks.

She isn't saying she didn't want you, she says that your brother is a handful and if he had been born first she wouldn't of had any more kids.

Hon, parents are just kids who's bodies get older and then they have kids. It isn't easy being a parent. I am not excusing your mom from her behavior. I am just saying that just because someone is a parent doesn't mean they know how to be a parent.

Your mother says inapproiate things when she gets upset.

Your mother might always be hurtful..some parents are like that. You will have to learn to let her words roll off your back.

Hang in there until you go to college. You have so much of your life left.....don't let this family trouble spoil YOUR life.

You have so much ahead of you.

Try sometime to talk to your mom when she is in a good mood. Tell her you want her to be happy and ask her how as a family you can all work on being happier. If she smart mouths......just say...mom that isn't the kind of talk that helps us have a happier life" Don't stoop to her level and yell.

You can't control your mother, but you CAN control How you react to her.

Answer 3

Aw. I am SO very sorry. I think the best thing you can do is tell her how you feel... "Mom, I feel like you get upset at me for things that I feel i have no control over.." and start from there. Dont be in a hurry to leave, kids that do that get into trouble. Try to mend things up and if all else fails then Y! Answer it and we will always be there to help =] I feel the same way sometimes. It worked for me...its just parents get stressed out they really truly love you and you may appreciate it when u r older too.

Answer 4

I don't think I can give you a really definitive answer to your question but I can tell you this: my mother did the same EXACT thing when I was a teenager. She would yell at me when I was on the phone with guys (majorly embarrassing), she'd scream her head off when I would play "my" music - which wasn't bad at all - I'd get in trouble for things my brother and sister did, she'd say embarrassing stuff about me in front of other people, she would sometime elude to not having me and my siblings.... Take comfort in the fact that it's not just you.

Now that I am older and I think back about this and I wonder why she did it. I still don't know. It's like when you become a mother, you are irrational and crazy. Things that may make sense to her are absolutely mind boggling to you. As for saying the thing about your brother, I don't really know your mother or the situation when she had you guys, but I think that if she had your brother first, you would have come along anyway. A lot of mothers say things like that, but I think they are just thinking aloud, trying to envision their lives if they didn't have children or just had one not two or three or whatever, but I don't think she means it to hurt you. She's just getting older and it may be bothering her that she isn't doing the things she thought when she was your age that she'd be doing when she got older. And I'm sure looking at you all young and pretty is looking at herself when she was young and seeing you everyday reminds her of her own youth. Mothers get really crazy like that.

If it's really bad then try to talk to her about it. Ask her why she's wigging out. Ask her when she yells what it is that you did wrong and ask how you can not have her yell anymore. When you get older you'll realise that you mother yelling is a very rudimentary way of trying to motivate you. She's human and not perfect - she may not know how to communicate effectively with you or anyone else for that matter. Really try talking to her and work it out. Tell her that if she wants to say something to you, she should say it, not yell. Tell her when something hurts your feelings - don't cry yourself to sleep - tell her as soon as it happens. And even when she yells, try not to yell back. SHOW her how you would like to be spoken to.

I hope this helps. Feel better and like you said, when you go away to college, you will be away from it all!! Good luck!!

Answer 5

You really haven't done anything wrong. It's your mom that's really messed up inside. When she's yelling at you about this and this, it's really not about that and that. It's about something deeper and maybe your mom is hurting. I know you really despise her but think for a second that maybe your mom truly isn't like this. Was she always yelling at you? Was there any event that kind of like changed her in any way? You must investigate. ChildhelpUSA can help I believe. And when there comes the time the yelling starts, don't believe what she says for one god damn second. (tell someone your pains...a close friend perhaps?) A real mother doesn't do that kind of damage to her daughter.

Answer 6

She does this because she is your mother. She knows that you can handle whatever she dishes out and that if she is mean to you in this way then later in life you will be able to handle more. She also is probably doing this because you are going away to college and this way she doesn't have to deal with the fact that she might miss you. Also just take it as it comes, then you will have the best time you possibly can at college, you will be away from your mother and perhaps you never will miss her but I hope that distance will at least make her more cordial to you when she realizes you are no longer around to yell at. Good Luck and act rationally though you may not want to, journal about your pain, any release helps .

Answer 7

This is a really hard question to answer. I was an only child but my mother & I would actually get into fist fights because she would say such horrible things to me and tell me she hated me all the time but then once she passed away I actually looked pass all the hard times (eventhough it was hard) and was able to come to conclusion that she did love me but we just tend to dwell on the bad times instead of the good times.

If there are no good times with your mom, I'd just try to stay away, stay in your room, maybe once in a while just start cleaning up out of no where without her asking you (that always seemed to make my mom earn a little more respect for me) Even if she's horrible to me just tell her you love her anyway, it may be hard to say but it won't hurt you mentally or physically, so just say it.

Do little things and don't care if she appreciates it at all just remember she's your mom and eventhough she says horrible things to you you have to keep your head up and remind yourself, you are NOT her and you are your own person and you can get through anything if you try.

Things will get better, it just takes time. It's horrible what you're going through. I actually moved in with my grandparents and it helped out alot. Eventhough today will be 3 years since my mom passed away, I do miss her alot but I don't miss the bad times. Keep your head up, try to create good times and remember them. Good luck and I'm sorry you have to deal with this sort of pain.

Answer 8

That is a horrible thing to tell your child...(if your brother came first you wouldnt be here). I dont blame you for feeling the way you do. But, you have your entire life ahead of you and not everyone is like your mother...you will be going to college soon, make friends, and have a chance to show everyone what a great person you are. As hard as it is, try not to let it bother you. I dont know if your dad is around but if he is...you could tell him how you feel and how she makes you feel.

Answer 9

Wow your mom sounds incredibly advise to me yet on the same time once you asked her the question of working substitute into she below the impact of alcohol? properly yea you may inform her that she could have faith you and that your unlike your mom which you're a fashion better guy or woman than she will ever be and yea your mom could have a angers challenge so which you may inform her the form you sense approximately her and how she acts in direction of you and not your lil brother for the reason that may not authentic and your merely 13 you might have maximum of jobs around the living house she could do the dishes not you. you're merely 13 you cant cope with lots yet yea your mom sound incredibly advise sturdy success i desire issues artwork out sturdy.

Answer 10

You poor thing...My daughter is 12 yo and a pain in the butt(hormones) I would never say anything like that...sounds like you are almost one foot out the door though. No child should be crying themselves to sleep because of something rotten their mother said to them...sounds like you need to be emancipated from her....If you are 16 or 17 you can look into it by going to your local district court and letting them know what you want to do and they provide someone to speak in your behalf on your situation...and if you are responsible enough a judge will emancipate you from your mom....then maybe she will realize what a joy children really are and not a burden