tips on being more friendly?

Question

people who know me would definalty describe me as sweet. i like doing things to make other's feel good. however, i have this way of saying insulting things by accident. like the other day, i was in art class with my friend who's not a GREAT artist, but i sort of liked the style she was going with, it had a messy look that was partially do to her lack of control with the paint brush, but i really liked it. i said "i really like this, it has a messy but cool style, it's neat" i meant it to be a compliment, but she said "oh, thanks, u think it's messy". i felt really bad that i hurt her feelings. how do i stop myself from accidently insulting people.

Answer 1

We're almost just alike. I used to be the nicest person in the world but it just seemed to get me ran over and then I turned into this cocky, mean girl, I'm not saying that I like the new me but it seems to get me some more respect. If you think you are about to insult someone, I'd think before you say it, eventhough that's not always the easiest thing to do. (Goodness I sound like my Mom LOL) If you see something you like and want to compliment it, just try to avoid adding details just say "That's nice" and if they ask why just say, "I like it." If someone gets upset just smile and say, "I'm sorry I didn't mean it in a bad way, I really do like it" if they can't accept that, then maybe they're the one being mean and it's not actually you. Good luck to you and I hope everything works out for you!

Answer 2

You already seem like a nice person, seeing that you care about other people's feelings and the fact that you're trying to avoid insulting people. It's not always insulting; it could just be your honest opinion. If you say something and somebody takes it as an insult when you actually meant it as a compliment, then just apologize, emphasize what you just said in a different way, and say that you really didn't mean it that way. It seems like you like encouraging people and really, a person can't be super friendly ALL the time. I noticed some people even take advantage of really nice people, mainly because they know that that person is nice and he/she is not going to say anything back about it. Honesty is necessary too in some situations even if you're the nicest person ever; you can't always hide in your thoughts. Just some extra tips though if you still feel not-so-friendly about yourself:

1) Don't frown a lot - smile more, compliment/congratulate, be polite.
2) Don't ever sound full of yourself.
3) Talk to more different people.
4) Be caring when a friend or somebody feels down and try to help out as much as you can.
5) Apologize if you really feel like what you said/did was wrong but only if you really feel like the apology is necessary. Don't always put everything on your shoulders and think that it was all your fault.
6) Think in a more optimistic way.

Answer 3

I think a big cause of accidental insults are the result of someone nervously talking simply to fill the air with sound. If you don't have a lot to say, don't say a lot or you'll end up speaking poorly...or babbling to be more precise. Shakespeare said "brevity is wit". You thought something, then you said too much. You could have edited it down to express what you're feeling by looking at her work and saying, "I like it." And when it comes to art, I rather like the work of an earnest struggler rather than a masterly artist. The person who struggles shows me more heart; so those things are highly subjective. So try brevity, but still express your thoughts and see if that's a better fit.

Answer 4

I think what u said is nice. I'll take it as a compliment. Your frens a little sensitive.
What you can do is take out the negative words and just use positive words like " It's curvy and cool"
Use lotsa "and" words.
Notice u used "Messy but cool"?
"Messy and cool" will sound better cos better cos "cool" is a positive word and by using "and", it links the postive feeling to the word "messy".
If this sounds nonsense to you, join the Dale Carnegie Course. It'll help alot.
www.dalecarnegie.com

Answer 5

* Act as an equal — avoid appearing superior or snobbish

* Be dynamic — students appreciate someone who is active and enthusiastic

* Create a learning environment — choose a location and a situation that makes learning fun, interesting and entertaining

* Be comfortable — be at ease with yourself

* Concede some control — allow the student to lead and pursue knowledge

* Show interest — be interested in what they have to say and remember their likes, hobbies and interests.

* Be optimistic — convey a positive outlook. This will be contagious.

Answer 6

maybe u didnt insult her but she just took it the wrong way. its not rlly ur fault unless u say it in a mean tone. next time u can say it in a funny tone and hint that u r not making fun of her. or something like that

Answer 7

Try to learn from your mistakes. Try to be conscientious of your thoughts before you say them.

I like to always think of the consequences first before I say my words.

If you are mindful of your thoughts and actions you won't make the same mistake again.

Answer 8

I don't think your response was rude. You were being sincere. She is obviously very self-conscious and not open to suggestions. But did she even ask you what you think in the first place???

I've learned (late in life - it has taken me years) that often people don't really want to know what you think. Just smile and don't offer input unless it is sought. :-)

Answer 9

Just be nice