I'm writing a paper for school about single mothers and the effects of divorce on children. There is a hypothesis in class that the stats are a bit exaggerated. Do you think that children of divorce, particularly men, fare as well as those of non-divorced parents when older? I'd like to hear from people whose parents actually split at a young age. Do you think this affected you in a profound way??
2007-01-29 15:52:21 · 8 answers · asked by AngelBaby 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What if the father remained an intregal part of the child's life - i.e. there was regular visitation. Did this make it easier? Or better somehow?
2007-01-29 16:05:20 · update #1
ABSOLUTELY.
Seriously, I always think of how things would have been different had my parents stayed together (even if they only stayed together for us and just separated after we graduated HS), and it is always a more positive outcome.
Not only that, but I have had many friends over they years, some of them are from broken homes and some from married parents, and almost always without fail the ones from broken homes turn out worse or don't get as far in life as the others.
Now I am a coach for an inner city public high school team. Most of our kids are from broken homes or were raised by single mothers, and those kids' lives are in shambles. The ones on our team that come from married parents do soooooo much better.
One thing is for sure. I have learned not to make the mistake that my parents, and all my team parents made by getting a divorce. It's better to live in misery until your kids are grown and gone than to do that to them. You REALLY ARE ruining their life by divorcing. I turned out OK (not great), but my siblings have not. My brother is 27, single, lives with his g-ma, works at a restaurant, drinks 12 beers a day, smokes a carton a week, takes pills, smokes pot, and probably has less than 10 years to live at the rate he is going. He blames it all on my parents, SPECIFICALLY the divorce.
2007-01-29 15:56:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My parents split up when I was 15 and finally divorced when I was 20. My brother was 12/17 at the time. The whole thing turned our lives upside down. All of us girls in the family have grown up and done well. My brother, not so much. The divorce definitely had a negative impact on him as a kid and it still affects him today. He and I talked about this recently, as a matter of fact.
2007-01-29 23:58:14 · answer #2 · answered by Butterfly Princess 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I will answer this as a female and having a sibling brother. My parents divorced when I was five. My mother never remarried, much rather date. Her life revolved around us.
My father was abusive to her and my brother.
Seeing and knowing this, my mother constantly spoke negative things about my dad, but I never understood why until I realized how mentally sick he was, and that is what she was trying to get me to realize.
Anyway, my brother and I are both in successful marriages over ten years, and we both have said that there is no way that we could remarry just as my mother did not remarry either.
We learned from our mother.
2007-01-30 00:08:01 · answer #3 · answered by izzitonme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my parents split when i was four and my dad had been alone since that, i am twenty five, and he died last year. My mom remarried, and i would say i learned more from my dad. He always thought he was right ( even if he was wrong to divorce my mother ) that gave me the power to not be defeated when something doesnt go my way, illl just find something else to be good at.
2007-01-29 23:59:19 · answer #4 · answered by Jane Doe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell yes my father left my mother 4 no reason when i was three and a half i am now 16 and its affected my life in a few big ways like
1 i never had a father figure in my life
2 there are somethings i dont know how do do properly b cuz i never had a father to teach me and stuff like to do with sport and making stuf out in the shed and stuff like that
2007-01-30 00:00:51 · answer #5 · answered by Luke M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my step sister... well she was about 30 & married when our parents tied the knot... her parents got divorced a few years before.. and all of the other children hardly will talk to their father. i mean, it is situational... considering WHY the parents divorced... affairs do that to people...
ok... and i was not a product of a divorced home, but only a remarried home... and i was in my late teens when it took place... well... when they got married....
yeah... totally ****** us all up....
same goes for my husband... his parents divorced when he was a little baby...
thing is... my husband just learned to deal with it... where my step-siblings (adults) totally freaked... and will never accept what has happened.
now that my husband is older... he has two sets of parents... because both are remarried. all of them love him as their own and he loves them as well. so, now that he is older, he appreciates everyone. he doesn't have that picture of his parents being happy together because he can't even remember them together. of course, he always had sound male role models and everyone always wanted him. he was constantly fought over, but it was because everyone loved him and wanted him. it was hard-- especially dealing with his step-parents in his teens, but in his adult years everything has straightened out.
2007-01-29 23:59:09 · answer #6 · answered by christy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it affected me negatively,,because no matter how hard she tried,,there was no way my mother could show me how to be a man...my dad was around,,but a weekend every other week is no good for kid or dad,,i give both my parents props for trying,,but divorce is just nasty..
2007-01-30 00:21:40 · answer #7 · answered by FOBU 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course...not for loosing a male role model, but for listening to my mom's negative thoughts of the male who brought me into the world..
2007-01-29 23:57:02 · answer #8 · answered by stan w 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋