My best friend met someone online. They now live together and have been for almost a year. She always seems busy. We had a really intense friendship. It seems almost as if she is so caught up in her home life and what her new b/f likes that there isn't any time left over. We used to go out for dinner once in awhile. We have not done that since last February. I know that she never wants to get married again. And I know that she always says that eventually she will get bored. Do I wait this out? Do I keep reminding her that I am here if she ever needs me? Do I just leave her alone? It just seems so awkward. And I don't like him very much. She & I don't talk about their relationship because it isn't my business. What do I do? We have been best friends for over 5 years and we are both in our late 30's.
2007-01-29 14:58:47 · 21 answers · asked by Shawn 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
awkward IS spelled correctly:)
2007-01-29 15:13:01 · update #1
Talk to her but, do not push it
2007-01-29 15:02:17 · answer #1 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a best friend... I'm young and I am going through that too...My best friend is in the same boat as your best friend...but see there is always going to be a time when she needs you...the question is are you going to be there for her when she needs you the most? If you walk away and forget about her...than who will she have...I mean I know sitting by the phone waiting on her call is driving you crazy but honestly do you think that she will ever forget that number of yours?
One thing you may should try to do is get to know the boy friend, put all your negative thoughts to the side and see why your best friend likes him...you never know there may be something that you find interesting between the 3 of you guys...but first you have to stop being some motherly...she is grown she is going to make her own judgement calls she does not need someone telling her what she should and shouldnt do...but when she ask for your advice offer it.
But like I said be a best friend and dont ever leave her side who knows when she might be call you looking for you to up lift and bring her back into reality
2007-01-29 23:07:30 · answer #2 · answered by chanel_mitchell06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked her to go out to dinner with you lately? Do you have a boyfriend who you can take on a double date with your friend and her boyfriend? Do you have any other good friends you can go out with?
It is good to talk to her and let her know that you miss the dinners, talks, and just her company. But don't put pressure on her. She is in a fairly new relationship and probably wants to spend as much time as possible with him. Be there for her if she needs you, but go out with other friends and find something or someone to keep you busy.
If the friendship means as much to her as it does to you, she will miss you too and eventually want to start resuming the friendship. But being a good friends also means to let that friend be happy, even if you are feeling left out.
Things will work out, just be patient.
2007-01-29 23:24:59 · answer #3 · answered by coolkatt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe hes a bit domineering and maybe hes jealous of the relationship u and her have, whatever the case maybe and i know it may be hard to do...........but............LEAVE HER ALONE............Watch her come runnin back to you as soon as he does somethin retarded or somethin she doesnt like, she'll be back trust me.......It never fails, best friends are just like old boyfriends they always come back........Now when she does comeback, dont bite her head off eventhough u r hurting right now, let her vent and listen to her and CALMLY tell her how u feel, If the relatiinship means anything to her she will understand and u 2 can pick up where u left off.........But at the same time shes a grown woman.........she knows right from wrong and if she dumb enough to let someone come in and mess up a 5 year relationship then so be it..........Im sure u would respect her feelings and her relationship if it means that much to her........Let me know how it turns out
2007-01-29 23:11:52 · answer #4 · answered by KATRINA A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your best friend obviously has someone new and you are worried because you care about her. It just shows that you strongly support her and are there to catch her if she ever needs you. Keep telling her once in a while you're there for her but not too often because just worrying shows you care as I said before. Just keep a good eye and maybe ask your friend if you can spend some time together sometime soon.
2007-01-29 23:20:54 · answer #5 · answered by devilishangelgirl10 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd talk to her if I were you. That's what happened with my best friend & talking to her was the best solution.
I told her that I really valued our friendship & ever since she had been with her boyfriend, we hadn't spent much time together.
I told her that I cared about her and wanted her happy, but I wanted to have "us" time because I thought the friendship was hanging by a thread because of her relationship. She didn't take it that well at first, but she understood me.
I told her that I cared about her, but I wanted us to spend time together. I hope everything works out. Good luck!
P.S. Someone needs to go back to grammar school if they think you spelled awkward wrong.
2007-01-29 23:28:42 · answer #6 · answered by Abby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should be there for your friend. I lthink as we get older and start to settle down and live with a partner they do become the main focus of our lives. She may think that she may never get married again, but who knows, this could be the one who changes her. You may not like him so much, but unless he mistreats her than it really isn't your choice. I would tell her that you miss seeing her and maybe suggest that you guys set up a nite every once and awhile to get out and have dinner. Maybe even include both your partners so that you have a chance to get to know him better and he gets to know you. I don't think you should forget about her and your friendship because that isn't something you walk away from. Hang in there and value the time you do spend togeher because it sounds like to care about her.
2007-01-29 23:31:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call her and tell her you miss her, and invite her out for an afternoon movie, make it a short friend date thing so as not to keep her out to long.... then wait a couple of wks and ask her again...... take it slow and be patient with her..... call her at least ONCE a wk until she agrees to go with you.... if she means so much to you she should be worth the effort..... do NOT bring up the issue of her new love, just keep reminding her that you are still around........ God bless
2007-01-29 23:06:02 · answer #8 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a true friend, you should go on with your life and make the friends who still remain in your daily life know how important they are to you. But let your old friend know you miss being around her because your friendship was special. You may need to let her know that you are always ready if she needs you or just wants to talk. She's probably still in the "honeymoon" stage of this new relationship and, as you know, that doesn't last forever.
2007-01-29 23:05:45 · answer #9 · answered by Lois M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I may be only 11 but the same thing happend to me sort of!!
Tell your friend how you feel about you and her not spending as much time together. Tell her you want to go out with her for a girls night every month at least.
I hope this helps!!
2007-01-29 23:05:46 · answer #10 · answered by zebra_girl55 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hate to break the news to you but she has cut you out of her life and don't wait around for her liitle crumbs,forget and get on with your life and look at it this way she isn't that happy with him if he does not want her to talk to you about there business, he is controlling her and it will not last long, are you going to be there when she comes crying? I wouldn't be,because she is not a friend
2007-01-29 23:08:43 · answer #11 · answered by aj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋