Why am I being cut out of Grand-baby's life?

Question

Son and wife are soon to be divorced. Daughter-in-law says I can go to child's daycare and take her for an hr. or 2 then return her back to day same day. She said I was on the list at daycare all along since break-up. I have been trying for 3 weeks now to take her for outing, the mom always has an excuse not to now. Last week I asked to do it agian, she said she would tell the daycare, and she didn't ,so I didn't see g/baby .I went to daycare today to aquaint myself, and they told me I was not listed to ever take her anywhere, but even if she does list me, they naturally need a written consent to take her. Why did she lie to me all this time saying I was on the list there, and I wasn't? Am I being punished for the break-up and divorce? I pray for all this to have a been a night-mare, but it really is happening...

Answer 1

It sounds to me as if your daughter in law simply does not care whether or not you see her daughter or that her daughter see you. Sometimes in a divorce situation, the custodial parent will try to keep the other party's parents (you in this case) from seeing the grand kids as a means of control or punishment against the spouse.(You son). If I were you, I would ask my son to talk to his divorce attorney to see if grand parental rights can be part of the visitation thing. Good luck. Hope it all works out.

Answer 2

Don't get into a shoving match with your soon to be ex-daughter in law...especially right now. I'm sure feelings are raw for everyone and you don't want to burn any bridges. Talk to your son and try to see your grandchild when he has the child for visitation. Like meeting them for lunch or having the two of them over for dinner and a movie. As hard as it might be it will be better if you try to keep out of the fray...and fighting and truly try to be nonjudgmental of the whole situation. As my kids would say...be Switzerland! Totally neutral and never ever say anything bad about either parent no matter how much you would love to. Hang in there, it will all work out in the end.

Answer 3

Oh I am so sorry you are being shut out of your grand baby's life. It's probably not you. Sounds like your daughter-in-law is angry at your son and taking it out on you. I wasn't married to my children's father but he cheated on me and just treated me with a lot of disrespect. When everything went down, his mom's main concern were her grand baby's and her worrying about me taking them away. I was hurt that she didn't acknowledge my feelings.

I quickly got over the resentment towards her b/c it wasn't her fault my relationship with her son didn't work out. I still have issues with him but I trust her with my children over anyone else including my own family. I suggest you call her and let her know how much the kids mean to you and that you are very sorry about the divorce. I think just letting her know that you do still care for her even if she is no longer going to be your daughter-in-law and that if she needs anything she can contact you.

Answer 4

It is very heart-breaking to be cut out of a grandchild's life like you have been. Not only is your daughter in law taking out her spite on your son, she is hurting you, too. What I have done (having been in your shoes) is to make sure I maintain a good line of communication with my son and spend as much time with my grandson on the weekends and nights he is with his father. p.s., In my state, a grandparent's rights to visitation with a grandchild are derivative. In other words, you could not get court-ordered visitation unless your son were deceased, incarcerated, or something just as bad, and you could "step into his shoes" and substitute his visitation for yourself. This is allowed because it is in a child's best interest to be loved by both families.

Answer 5

Yes it seems as though you are being punished for some reason. You may have to go to court to get visitation. She legally can not withhold that baby for no good reason it will look very bad on her. And shame on her by the way. I feel really bad for your situation. No love should be withheld from a child.

Answer 6

Talk to your son and ex together and ask for an explanation.Let them know that you are not responsible for their situation and all you want is to have a relationship with your grand daughter and not in their problems.A grandparent is an important part of a child's life. I am a grandmother and hope that it all works out for you and your grand daughter.

Answer 7

Welcome to my world...... have a 16 mon. old grandbaby, last I saw him he was 3 months old..... We parents of the son seem to get the raw end when it comes to the babies...... and we could take them to court, but what good would that do ?? NONE, the grandparents rights are let up to each judge, and if the babies are under 2 yrs. old, the mother can and most times do, request or demand that she be present during ALL visitations..... *sigh*, so we are caught between a rock and a hard place when it comes to our grand kids..... BUT, they do grow up, and they will come looking for us and we have the truth, that we tried to see them, on our sides...... I will pray for you and that baby..... God bless

Answer 8

does she know there is a grandparents law in affect since January 15 2006 unless you don't want to spend the money you need to talk to a lawyer that specialies in this type of law,have you also considered that she is just being a b----- about it ,are you the father's father?she is trying to cut every one out that is related to the father and the only one it hurts is the kids. i have the problem with my daughter in law and it really hurts

Answer 9

Ask her to be honest with you and tell you if you have done something. She just may feel threatened in some way since you are her soon to be ex's mother. Call her now.

Answer 10

This is something you have to bring up to your son. Don't hound your dau in law about this. If your son doesn't want to do anything about it, unfortunately, there's nothing you can do. I'd ask your son to do something, if not, then I'd stay out of it.