I am in a custody battle at the moment with my ex-husband. A few months ago, I found out that he had signed over his parental rights to a daughter (that he knew about from the start). Today, I found out that he also has another child (a son) that he was told about and has refused to acknowledge. About one month ago, he adopted the son of his new wife (married about 1 1/2 years). How should I or could I handle this situation? Leave it alone? Talk to an attorney? I'm torn, because I don't want to hurt my child, but I hate for him to grow up thinking the world of a father that treats his other biological children this way. Help!!!
2007-01-29 14:44:07 · 10 answers · asked by Wendy D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is deplorable for a father to not acknowledge his children. Since you are in a custody battle with this man, it would be an excellent idea to consult an attorney and make the attorney aware of every bit of his past. However, this should stay in the courtroom. Do not say negative things to your child about his father. I completely understand that you want to protect your child, but don't tell him bad things about his father. Not only could that hurt your child (knowing that his father is not the best person in the world), but - if it came out in court - it would look badly on you. Let you son form his own opinion about his father and be the best mother that you can possibly be. Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers.
2007-01-29 14:57:08 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever think of the fact that you are the one who decided to father a child with this man, so you telling your son he is a rotten dad would only be a bad reflection on you? Stop trying to manipulate your son, stop complaining about your ex-husband. Start being a great mom. You should be happy that your ex-husband wants this son in his life. Those other children fathered by him might have been "little accidents" many women trick men into having a baby in an attempt to trap him or just so they just could have a baby. Do not fight the 50/50 child custody, after all the boy is 50% his.
2007-01-29 23:19:58 · answer #2 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is really wrong to talk bad about a parent to a child. Stay neutral with your child about your ex. I am sure if this guy is as much of a jerk as you say, your child will NOT grow up adoring him. Your ex will give him plenty of opportunity to grow up seeing him for what he really is. So don't talk bad, don't talk good, just state facts. Your ex could suprise you too, he might turn out to be a good father to your son, and then you would just look bad in the childs eyes. If he turns out to be a bad father, well, kids are smart, they understand things we don't even realize they understand.
I agree also that a talk with an attorney would not be a bad idea! Go mommy o'3 =)
2007-01-29 22:58:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would allow your son to have a relationship with his dad. If they already have one. He is going to form his own opinion. Which will probably be worse then anything you can tell him. You don't want him resenting you. And by the way that guy sounds like a real winner. Good luck.
2007-01-29 23:21:36 · answer #4 · answered by MotherMayI? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as his history offends you...you must allow your child to grow and develop his or her own relationship with dad.......hopefully he will become a better parent and have a very good relationship with all of his children...and if he does not, you need to allow your child to develop his or her own opinion of his or her father. If the child is young, he or she is not mature enough to understand these very adult issues....as maturity arrives.....opinions will as well...but you will be more respected as mom if you handle this with class and grace.
2007-01-29 23:44:24 · answer #5 · answered by catywhumpass 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let my attorney know about these situations, and he can decide what action should be taken.
2007-01-29 23:13:41 · answer #6 · answered by lady_blu_iz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you hope to force him to do? You may be able to change some of his action's though it doesn't sound like it. But you will never be able to force him into being a Dad.
So sorry, let it go.
2007-01-29 22:51:34 · answer #7 · answered by brp_13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes.Talk to an attorney.
2007-01-30 02:24:31 · answer #8 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. One day your child will come to know him on his own (your child's) terms.
2007-01-29 23:48:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do nothing - your son will eventually know who his dad is
2007-01-29 23:09:10 · answer #10 · answered by gabby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋