I'm married but separated. My husband and I split because he just isn't serious enough for me. He won't pay the bills like he's suppose to. But he is an outstanding father. Our children are 1 & 2 yrs. old. We take turns every other week for custody. For instance, he has them all this week. Though he takes them to school everyday and I pick them up everyday. And I really don't like not being able to put my daughters to bed everynight. But at the same time, I can't be w/someone who isn't responsible. He listens more to his family than the family he and I created. I've lost so much weight over this. I'm dieting too, but I think much of my weight loss is due to stress. So my question is, Should I get back w/him for the kids and just deal with it? Or do I just continue being separated from him?
2007-01-29 14:42:06 · 16 answers · asked by TRULEY MADLY DEEPLEY 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no dear ,you don't go back with him for the kids sake,that is just not a healthy relationship.your better off staying separated .if you get back with him ,i;m sure things are going to remain the same,and you are going to live miserably.don't put any more burden on yourself.
your best bet is to just remain friends,easier on the whole family.
take care of yourself,and start eating properly to gain your strenght,for you and your kids sake.
2007-01-29 14:54:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your children are the most important thing here, the choice is up to you. A word to the wise though, lets say you got him some help with making him a little more responsible with the bills and moved away from his family. Could you tolerate family visits (either going or them coming)? If you answered yes then get him back into the home if not leave things the way they're. Good Luck!
2007-01-29 15:10:33 · answer #2 · answered by beamer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder...and the old saying "ya dont know what ya got, until its gone"...Im referring this to your husband...
Im thinking that this seperation, could make him realize what he has lost..alot of people see what they have lost and they try to change...
Sit down with him, and see how he feels and what he is thinking..dont make him think you are gonna take him back..he will think its easy then...make him wonder and work for it, if he wants to come back..
A big part of marriage is being responsible and sharing the bills, marriage is a team.
I know this is hard on you and your children..Just take some time..You dont have to make any choices over night..ya know?
Just think about it, do some soul searching, and talk to him, keep the lines of communitcation open between you and him, so you will stay friends, and get along..
If its meant to be, maybe he will wake up, and be back in time..
Wishing you the best..
2007-01-29 15:03:40 · answer #3 · answered by ~Annette~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu have to do what is better for the family. Is being together were you are unhappy and stressed out and probably fighting best for the kids to be around? Some people have wonderful parents in two different houses. If that is better for your well being then he have to grown up make money to support the daughters he loves. At this point from what you said about money I would be in court making sure its in writing what he should be giving to his kids. Good Luck
2007-01-29 15:40:29 · answer #4 · answered by samanthangerard 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do know that grown men don't always equal responsible bill payers It's a toss up!!! do you want to go on being stress out and unhealthy or can you live with a man that is a good father, but not so good provider? the choice that yours, not yahoo forum. will have to live with. maybe you can be the bill payer in the marriage
2007-01-29 14:53:36 · answer #5 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you two definately need to get into couseling. NEVER stay in a marriage just for the sake of the kids, it will only hurt the children because they can sense when things arent right. This sounds like something that there might be some hope of salvaging, though, so I hope the best for you!
2007-01-29 14:51:30 · answer #6 · answered by Christines256 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk it over with coffee. But if you don't love him, then you shouldn't! Sure it would be for the loves for the rest of your life, but it is best when they are young, because then they understand what they are gonna go through when they are older. Tell him why you split with him and explain why you think it'd be best for the kids, and then see if he changes in oh say the next two months, and then talk it over and see if anything changed. Be sure to mention, "make up sex" jk and "For the kids"
2007-01-29 14:48:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What bills won't he pay? Cable? Cancel it, you don't need it. Same goes for caller ID or Macy's or many other things. But if we're talking electric, mortgage ... then maybe separation is your best option.
2007-01-29 14:47:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
.Kids know when mommy and daddy are not happy, being with him if he does not make you happy will only cause problems with your kids behavior. Sometimes being seperated is the best thing
when kids are involved as sad as it may sound.
sorry hope this is helpful.
2007-01-29 14:51:24 · answer #9 · answered by evilgrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you dumb or something?
ruining a family because your husband is not prompt on paying the bills
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE OVER THE BILL PAYMENT DEPARTMENT and everything will be ok
2007-01-29 15:01:05 · answer #10 · answered by zether 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋