okay I just don't know what to do anymore. My Husband & U have been fighting for 7 months & I cant stand it anymore.
The fight started off because I was angry that my husband was being secretive I confronted him and things blew up. I am sure that he is not cheating on me. He explained why he was being secretive, but after that he has been so different. We dont spend anytime time together, we dont do anything together and things are just bad. The harder I try the further I am pushing him away.
The problem is that we live with my family and they have made it very clear that if we are not together than I am not welcome to live here. We can barely make our bills so we need each other finacially to get by. He brought up a seperation, but he dosent see that the outcome of that would be worst then situation that we are in now.
I do love him BUT he holds on to our fights and makes everything so much worst than it is. I don't know how to talk to him or what to do.....
2007-01-29 14:19:52 · 13 answers · asked by SS 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I guess I would stop trying.. Why would your parents not welcome you and not him to live there? This part, I have a hard time understanding. See if he'll go to counseling and try to work things out good luck
2007-01-29 14:30:14 · answer #1 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, this is a very difficult situation.
If you two still love each other than maybe one night you should suprise him and take him out to dinner. Explain to him that you do trust him because trust is the most important thing in a relationship. If it might help explain to him why you thought he was cheating, because that might clear up a few things. I was in a relationship where my boyfriend would hold the biggest grudges on me and it made me so mad! But the reason why they hold grudges is because they have low self esteem and they are affraid of these situations and don't know how to handle them.
I know that everyone is probably going to say talk to him but honestly talking is the only way you are going to feel better. Maybe suprise him one night with something special you think of it, someone that will boost his self esteem and he will realize that you do love him.
Good Luck! Hope this helps!
2007-01-29 14:31:25 · answer #2 · answered by Kat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband is having an affair and it doesnt sound like he wants to put any effort into the relationship. You situation sounds so close to the one that im in that my solution is to build the intimacy again. Stop nagging at him. Let him feel special and loved for one month. Stop picking fights or arguing with him and just make him feel like coming home. he probably doesnt feel like coming home because of the tension in the house. Then see if things improve over a month by swallowing you tounge and not fighting with him even if it takes everything you have. GOod luck. Mabye on your part try some councelling as well.
2007-01-29 15:50:33 · answer #3 · answered by jennyve25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you need to make some changes. Fight fair. Quit your destructive behavior. There is something you are doing that is bad for your marriage. Think about it. It's not always one person's fault. You need to start showing more appreciation, affection, support, and just overall kindness. Please try this! Extra hugs and kisses! Try this for a day and see what happens. If you give, your husand will give back. Don't sweat the small things. Life is too short to get mad over dirty socks on the floor...Just do it or ask nicely. I highly recommend a couple of books. They give you great insight and trust me, you will relate to them! The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage & The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Great reads and life changing!
2007-01-29 14:30:02 · answer #4 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, you guys should live alone, second try to talk to him and ask him to talk to you too. Let everything out, what's bothering both of you, how can you make it better, try to argue, just listen when he talks and make him listen when you talk. Take a trip together somewhere it will give you time to talk and enjoy each others company. It really will help if you get professional help, marriage counseling, don't give up and good luck. When there is love there is still hope.
2007-01-29 14:29:13 · answer #5 · answered by Scarlet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my! This may be a problem...
So he holds grudges, eh? You love him and I am sure he loves you! So you're afraid to divorce? But why...because then you won't have a place to stay? This is something you sometimes probably wish you never even brought up...but sweetie, it's good you did! Tell him now he is just being immature. (Um.....?) That if you do need each-other then you would show your love for eachother. He just keeps holding on and won't let go? Wow....! Um....so...when he keeps bringing that fight up, ignore it, or you can speak your mind again (whatever is in it *bits lip*) Work hard and earn more money. My dad is the one who earns all the money in our house, my mom is a stay at home mom. They argue about it every once and while, but she keeps telling me, that I am going to tell you, "Make your own choices, support yourself before it is too late." And hun, you have to start supporting yourself. Good luck! (I know this answer stinks....but hey! I am a 10 yr. old cut me some slack! Give me a thumbs up!!!!)
2007-01-29 14:30:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Get some counseling and try to work on it! Living with family members isn't easy! Good luck!
2007-01-29 14:32:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You live with your family and they'll push you out if he leaves? This is wrong on so many levels. You need the help of wise counsel. Are you connected to a church? I would start there. I am so sorry. This breaks my heart.
2007-01-29 14:27:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are his world. Don't argue with the man just show him that you respect him. Things will work out.
2007-01-29 14:26:50 · answer #9 · answered by amandamc32183 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
me and my husband used to do that but you have to sit down and talk about things you don't like and do like.
2007-01-29 16:05:50 · answer #10 · answered by Meow4Moe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋