Questions about divorce?

Question

If I divorce my husband can he take my son based on the fact that he works and I don't? I don't work because his job has no set hours. He gets home when he gets here. Trust me I would love to work. I have asked him to compromise on this a little and he won't. He says based on that no judge would give me my son.
I am not an unfit parent so he can't prove me as one, he tells me that it doesn't matter his family has more money than mine and he will get my son.
Can the fact that I would have to live with my mom give him my son? Some of my family members don't have the best past or current situations but they don't live with my mom.
I don't have the means to hire an attorney and he does and I know this will not help me, I was with him when he took his daughter away from his ex and I know what he will do to take my son from me, so where does this leave me if we decide to divorce? I don't want our house or his truck, boat etc. I just want my son.

The state is Fl, my son is 4. I went to work for a short time when he was two, but daycare is just to expensive. I know if I get divorced I would qualify for subsidized daycare. So working isn't an issue, I don't work now because of my husband. He's not abusive, we're just at a point where its just broken and he doesn't want to fix anything. I'm wrong, he's right. That's not how it is but thats what he wants me to believe.

Answer 1

no he cannot take your son without a real good justifiable reason based on actual facts. i have been through two divorces and it looks to me like your best weapon with him is the fact that you have seen him in court. that is a huge advantage. legal aid will provide an attorney if one is needed for you. as my attorney said to me "your time is best spent remembering and writing down all of you and the child's good times and as a way to vent write all of his (your husbands) bad traits and the hours he keeps, plus the amount of time he spends really parenting. i know for a fact that judges lean to the mother here in the south, that is all i can say about that. i will say that i share joint custody of two two beautiful and as their teachers put "well adjusted girls". all A's and everything.

do not loose hope and never give in to something unless you are able to live with the outcome.
God Bless.

Answer 2

It depends on what state you live in. Chances are one of you will get physical placement and both will have 50/50 custody! The judge will look at what is best for the child! It also depends on the age of the child, is he old enough to decide who he wants to live with. Years ago, women stayed and took a lot of abuse, but it isn't like that anymore! There are programs to help women with legal fees and homes to put them in when things just are not right! Call an attorney, most of them offer a free consultation, then you will know where you stand! By the way, any attorney you have a free consultation with would probably not take him on because it is a conflict of interest if he/she has already heard your side of the story! My advise would be if there is any way to save the marriage do so, divorce is an ugly thing all the way around! If there is no hope and you know it...Call an attorney!

Answer 3

Wow! This is a tuffy! I'll give it a shot though. It is pretty rare that a judge takes a child away from the mother if she is not abusive or on drugs. I would suggest that you get a job and then consult a lawyer. Some states require you to be legally separated for a period of time before you can get a divorce and this would give you time to get a job. As far as who would have custody of your son for this period, I don't know. You two would have to sign a separation agreement and that might put you back to square one. The bottom line is, you would have to prove to the judge somehow that your son is better off with you and that you would have the means to support him. Good luck!

Answer 4

I agree with Jade. You have to get a good lawyer, even if you only can pay him so much a month...Do not listen to your husband..he is trying to break you down more...to weaken you so you feel more helpless. You are not the only woman in this situation. Has he threatened to harm you or the child in any way? All I can say is you do need a place to live...if it is with your parents until you can gain employment then do that, but do not leave you child with his father to do this...First consult a lawyer to find out how to handle things...Check the phone book...remember...most lawyers give a free consultation...they will tell you if you have a good case or what your probability is and they can also help give you some direction...You have to have a plan girl...and if you want to contact me, please feel free...Whatever happens in your divorce, it is going to be almost impossible to change custody once the judge has decided it....You must do all you can for your son...now...for you and for him....

Answer 5

You sound like your between a rock and a hard place and I know where your coming from. What you NEED to do is find yourself a lawyer, if you really want your son. Knowing you have no money to do this I would suggest you find a job FAST and have you mother watch the boy. You can worry about this fact that he wants the boy and If you just sit and do thinging about it You'll be the loser You must get moving on this now and fight and claw your way if you want that son Good Luck

Answer 6

You got some problems, hon, as I've been there. Generally speaking if you can work & provide daycare & support your child (no matter how richly) a good judge will see to it that your child stays with you. He sounds like a very vindictive, intimidating person but don't let past experiences make you weak. You have family behind you, you write articulately, you can do it girl! You can go down to the courthouse to get advise or leave, file your own peti!tiion for child support & call his bluff but don't let what he says intimidate you!. Be strong. Keep in touch.

Answer 7

If you check around you my be able to find a attorney for free. or my be able to make him pay for a attorney for you. You my not want the house, truck or boat but sure he does so my be able to use them as way to get him to give son up. Tell him i get son or half of everything you have and that goes for house, boat, truck money in back and money invested or hidden some place. If he says no and you can't find a free attorney you my be able to get one for part of what you get from your half of house, truck, boat saving and checking account and money hidden away. Fight fire with fire. You my not want the house and all but my need to go after everything to get what you want your son. I hope any judge that's any good goes with person that give the most love not money to child

Answer 8

My friend is currently going through a divorce and his ex-wife has their children most of the time. She does not have a job, but he does and he is unable to always be at home when they get to his house after school. He gets them on the days he has off and they alternate weekends. If you are able to support yourself and your son then your financial situation would probably be considered sufficient. Your situation also depends on the judge, which is partly out of your hands. Just hang in there. I wish you luck and truly hope this works out.

Answer 9

Are you not aware that what is his is also yours. Every penny of what he has belongs, equally, to you. Write a check to the lawyer from your joint account. When you divorce. Half of what he has will go to you. If the child is of tender age, which is kinda open to interpretation and varies from state to state and court to court, perhaps 7 yr or younger, the courts are very reluctant to take the child from the mother. You may have to get a job and you may have to live with your mother. Now the reason of your divorce may have a bearing on the custody. Why are you leaving him. If you have good reason, do not worry and dont fall for his attempts to intimidate you. Take him for everyting he has. Go to legal aid. But remember, While you are married everyting he has is also yours to do with as you please.

Answer 10

He must think that because you don't work outside the home that you are stupid. The judge will grant custody to whoever the better parent is.
This is not based on income. You could argue that he works all the time and has no set hours and that in and of itself is ground to grant custody to the parent who is THERE for the child. It sounds as if he is trying to scare you.