Two months ago I caught my wife cheating on me with a security guard from her work. When I asked her why, she said I didn't give her enough emotional support. We separated the day I caught her. Now she says she is sorry and wants to come back. We have been apart for two months and yes I do miss her. I just don't know if I could get past the fact that she betrayed me. What do you think?
2007-01-29 13:15:16 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Either:
Seek marriage counseling
Or:
Move on
My opinion:
Move on
Why?
You'll never trust her again
Why not?
Love isn't enough to wipe away betrayal
Why not?
That image of the two of them getting it, if you know what I mean, is permanently etched in your cerebrum.
What do you do?
Get a grip.
How?
The incentive.
What's that?
There are 6 billion ppl in the world and slightly over half of them are female.
Bottom line:
There are plenty of fish in the sea.....MOVE ON!!!
Why?
The ultimate closure.
***Hope this helps.
Peace...
2007-01-29 13:29:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you take her back things could go 2 ways, 1) she would be ashamed of what she did and never do it again or 2) like the saying goes....once a cheater always a cheater.
You need to ask yourself a couple of questions before deciding.
Can you trust her again?
Do you want her back?
Do you love her and are willing to work things out and forgive and forget?
Will you throw her affair in her face everytime you fight with her?
Can you ever forget what she did?
Ask yourself these questions and think hard about your answers and if you can get past this and she is truely sorry then go for it. Life always has had and will have it's bad time and this is just one of them.
2007-01-29 13:32:23 · answer #2 · answered by n0s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you been there done that,once a cheater always a cheater,I forgave my husband for cheating,but he did it several times, even fathered another child while he was still married to me!!,I should have left him because I no longer trusted him, after the first time he cheated on me,I learned if you don't have trust you don't have anything,If you can trust your wife again,you might be able to work it out,but she's going to have to earn your trust,Did she ever tell you that you didn't give her enough emotional support? or is she using that for an excuse? I have been divorced 12yrs and it was the best thing I could have ever done, I'm happier than I've ever been in my life,do all you can to work it out,I didn't leave until I knew I had done everything humanly possible to save my marriage. good luck to you :)
2007-01-29 13:32:05 · answer #3 · answered by msalb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are if you are having problems getting past the betrayal.It probably won't get any better.Once someone does this to you it's very hard to get over it.Forgiving her would be easy but forgetting is impossible.Maybe you should try to be friends and see what happens but remember,if it happened once and you gave her a second chance and it happens again then you can't blame her cause you knew what you had from the first time.If it was me I would talk it through and hear her story.I would then tell her I need time to work it out.While I was working it out I would watch her actions and see if she really was done with this person or just playing with my head.
2007-01-29 13:37:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How low can we go? Cheating with the security gaurd? He is sappose to be watching out for what, lonley confused or desperate wives. And what the hell was she thinking. Let her be for awile, I would make her learn a real good lesson before I would ever take her back. Do you know if she has seen him or anyone during the 2 months that she has been out? I always said if I ever was the type to steal, It would have to be something that if I got caught it was worth trying for. And if I was to ever cheat the man better have a whole lot of something for me to risk losing my marriage over. what a dumb ***. SORRY FOR YOU.
2007-01-29 13:26:47 · answer #5 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Keith,
Do not rush to get back with her just yet... Seek counseling and help for you and for this marriage first before getting back together with her.... This will take time and healing on your part and maybe someday with time you will be able to learn to forgive her and start to get past this and heal. Take your time and dont rush it... Since she is sorry it is only fair to try and work at it again but take your time... Be friends for now and get to know each other all over again and start off slow... Maybe go on a date once in a while... I wish you the best and hope that God will heal and restore over time in your marriage what has been lost and destroyed... Here comes lots of hugs to you today.
http://www.marriagetoday.org
http://www.drphil.com
2007-01-29 13:43:04 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should take some time to think about it. (ask yourself have I genuinely forgiven her in my heart) Remember,people make mistakes. God shows mercy on us and when we ask to be forgiven in Jesus name, he forgives us. What would it be like to not be forgiven for something you told God that you were not going to do? Soften your heart towards her and listen to your heart about this. When you look at her...would you see that bad situation in your head or would you see that person that you so truly love? I would seek marriage counseling and start slowly (if you want to get back together) start by dating her once again. (this will take care of the root problem she had with the way she was feeling in the relationship. Write out your dreams and goals together to see if you guys are on the same accord. Important in the institution of marriage:
1. Communication
2. Sex (with your mate) (smiling)
3. Finances
4. Trust
Add your own. See what areas you guys need to work on. Ok, the best to you!
2007-01-29 13:45:36 · answer #7 · answered by mama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. You should move forward in life NOT backwards. Remember this - once you take out the trash you leave it. She will probably be faithful and loving for a month until she finds someone else she wants to be with. Really, your dumb if u do take her back.
I like cowboy bill's answer - put her through hell! but don't give in! she deserves it!
2007-01-29 13:23:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your decision.....but this will only work if you get some marriage counseling.
Not enough emotional support is no reason to cheat....you guys need to find out what really happened.
2007-01-29 13:25:09 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex BF cheated on me and now I am happily married to someone else. Anyway, he had once wanted me back, I said no....once a cheater always a cheater. I never could have trusted him again.
2007-01-29 13:20:31 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋