Does this poem sound right?

Question

Definition - My Sister

My sister is like a little bird
that flies in the blue skies.
She flies faraway but
never leaves my sight.
She is beautiful with
her pink bright feathers.
My sister flies learning
how the big blue
sky looks like.

Answer 1

I think it's a lovely poem...but I think you used "flies" too many times.

My sister
a miniature bird
dips and swirls
in a blue summer sky.
She flies faraway but
never leaves my sight.
She is beautiful with
her pink bright feathers.
She soars,
laughing and learning
the vast infinite sky
her classroom.

Answer 2

It's okay, but here's some editing.

My sister is like a little bird
That flies in the blue sky
She flies faraway but
Never leaves my sight
She is beautiful with
Her bright pink feathers
My sister is learning
What the big blue
Sky looks like.

Answer 3

I like it. The edit the rrrobotic offered is okay, but don't change "pink bright feathers." It's a different image from "bright pink feathers" and I suspect it's exactly what you meant to say. I have one question -- in your last line, did you want to say "learning what the big blue sky looks like" or is there more to write, e.g., "learning how the big blue sky looks like _____." What does the sky look like to someone who's trying her wings?

You have a nice sense of imagery, and you obviously love your sister. Keep writing.

Answer 4

What is the reference to flying and pink feathers and blue sky, Need to add maybe a little more descriptive line somewhere, onlly an idea

Answer 5

I would put bright before pink, and change how to what.

Answer 6

a poem is good when you believe it is good and it sounds well to you... and you got your point across... it also includes description... it always makes it soo much more interesting.. but i love what you are saying... reminds me of my little sister...

Answer 7

What do u mean? Well, it kinda depends on how you look at it. It sounds okay to me...