What is the funniest poem you have ever read or heard?

Question

Haiku if you want to.

Answer 1

This poem from either "Alice in Wonderland:, or "Through the Looking Glass", I find is hilarious.

"Father William: by Lewis Carroll

You are old Father William, the young man said,
And your hair has become very white.
And yet you incessantly stand on your head-
Do you think at your age it is right?

In my youth, Father William replied to his son,
I feared it might injure the brain.
But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.

You are old, said the youth, as I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back somersault in at the door -
Pray, what is the reason of that?

In my youth, said the sage, as he shook his gray locks,
I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment - one shilling the box -
Allow me to sell you a couple.

You are old, said the youth, and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet,
Yet you finihed the goose, with the bones and the beak.
Pray, how did you manage to do it?

"In my youth, said his father, I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife.
And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."

You are old, said the youth, one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever.
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose -
What made you so awfully clever?

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,
Said his father; don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to this stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you downstairs."

Answer 2

"The Gypsies are Coming" by Shel Silverstein. It is about old folk who torment children into good behavior with tales of gypsies coming to buy naughty children "and take them away". It lists the prices for all different sorts of children, and the result is quite comical!

Answer 3

Author and poet Ogden Nash was probably the funniest poet I have ever read. His subtlety and dry humor made him one of the best.

Answer 4

ANYTHING by Shel Silverstein. He is an amazing poet. He has three famous books on colections of poems. My favorite is "Sick" from "Where the sidewalk ends."

Answer 5

From my demure mother...

The night was dark
The sky was blue
And down the road
A s**t wagon flew

A bump was hit
A scream was heard
A man was hit
By a flying turd.

Answer 6

There was a Lady from Nantucket

Answer 7

"Sister for Sale" by Shel Silvertein.