Why can't wives just kiss and make-up and move on?

Question

OK, so you had an argument. You both got angry. Happens to everyone. But, now it's over.

Why not just kiss and make up and move on?

I know all wives are not like this, but this is what I hear from most of my married friends.

Once the argument is TRULY OVER, why can't it just end there? Why the silent treatment, for example, afterwards?

Why can't (some) wives control their emotions, knowing that it can hurt their relationship? This kind of behavior only serves to damage the relationship.

Some guys are like, "Oh, you're STILL not talking to me? After I apologized when we were BOTH arguing? OK, fine. I'm out."

Jonathan I and Bridgette B --- HILARIOUS !!

Comic relief is always a good thing.

It is simply a matter of self-control, IMO.

Refusing to communicate accomplishes nothing good, but does do damage.

If there is more to talk about, why not just say "I think we need to discuss this issue. . ."

Answer 1

Selfishness and the desire to either hurt the partner emotionally or not enough personal maturity to say, "look, I'm still pissed about (whatever). I just need a couple hours to work my way through it."

Enough of that behavior and he will find someone that can act like a grown-up.

This is the kind of crap that contributes to the 50% divorce rate.

Answer 2

OK. I'm a guy, and would love to agree with you. But, when there is an argument, it usually means that one person is wrong, or is doing something wrong, or silly, or stupid, or at least inconsiderate. Say for instance, I accidentally vacuum up my wife's gerbil, cuz I wanted to see if I could groom it's fur- do you really think she'd just yell a bit, and then be snugly? Or, she bends your new driver trying to get a pad under the leg of the couch. You gonna yell, then want to cuddle??? The reason people try to not do things that upset their spouse is that life is much better when we like each other, and sucks when we're angry at each other. Arguments should be rare, because they cause lingering bad feelings. To expect anything different is unrealistic.

Answer 3

I totally agree with you,but at the same time,there are men who do the exact same thing.Some people do it because they want to hurt their spouse and feel like that is the best way to do it.The longer they stay mad,the more it hurts the other person.Others do it because,they don't know how to move on.So they get stuck being mad.Getting over an argument is a learned behavior.So is being mad and not wanting to resolve the issue.Some people just don't know how.Some do it because they want that and any other argument to be in their favor.They want to win,not compromise or give in.In my opinion,your doing the right thing by apologizing and not caring a grudge.Let her work this out in her own mind and she probably will come around.You remember not to get mad just because she is mad and won't talk right now.Sometimes in a marriage,it is best for the husband to give in and say he is sorry,even when he knows that he's right.Smile and move on.If you get stuck being mad,nothing will get resolved because then you have two people who's not thinking clearly.So i applaud you for keeping your head on straight

Answer 4

I guess since women and men truly seem to be creatures of 2 different planets....women just can't 'kiss and make up and move on'! I agree, we need to work on it; however, it works both ways...women just need to discuss things more, our minds will go a million miles a minute, just wondering the 'if's', 'why's' etc...just apologizing- it seems that's rarely enough,right??? Just go into a little bit of detail, remember the problem for a couple of days, and you'll be fine!!!

Answer 5

I agree with Nikki. Lots of guys have a habit of saying they are sorry just to end the argument, but when it comes down to it, they don't "act" sorry, and the cycle begins again (whatever causes the arguments in the first place) Hollow words don't go very far with women. Actions definitely speak louder than words and I think women need to see that you are sincere. We say it's "ok", when it really isn't. I know I've given in and stopped fighting when I really wasn't ready... It bubbles underneath and comes up again later if the argument isn't really resolved.

Answer 6

Its because they are still kind of hurt, but the even bigger reason is they just might wanna see how far you'll go just to make sure youre truly are sorry. I know thats wht I sometimes do. Sometimes all it takes is just something made from the heart or a little suprise to make it better

Answer 7

Maybe she doesn't truly feel the issue was resolved.

Or, maybe she just doesn't feel like talking to you after a long tiring arguement.

Silly Kim, if you want to be a submissive piece of property, that is your own issue. Here in the good old USA women ARE equal.

Answer 8

Although not talking to you can hurt your relationship, have you considered whatever caused the argument can do the same thing? Altho the argument is over the reason behind it might still be very fresh on her mind.

Answer 9

Well because usually the arguement is over for the guy and well the woman is still fumming because she wasn't done argueing and well maybe she wants you to kiss a@@ a little longer what woman doesn't like when their hubby kisses butt for a while.

Oh yea sorry to say but women are emotional get used to it.

Answer 10

Thank the feminist and liberal movements for this question. These women hate men, think they are always right, and don't think they need to submit to their man because "they are equal or better." It's a bunch of BS if you ask me. I don't call it a movement, I call it immature and selfish. It's in the Bible, the man is the head of the household and women should be submissive to their husbands.