Stay married or Cheat then Divorce?

Question

Middle aged male. I have been married for 15 years. A wonderful 2.2 year old son. I have not had sex for two years. Wife is never instereted. Always wanted to cheat on my wife but never have. I am in this relationship for my son. But a man needs sex. How do i get my insterested again when she is so busy with other things. I think i will cheat

I do ove my wife very much. And trust with all my heart

Answer 1

its not sex your wife has lost interest in, but something else.
if you cheat on your wife you will be cheating on yourself,and that will only lead to you feeling shame,and guilt.
remind your wife that you love respect her,and that you have many welcome memories of your sex life together.
express your concern for her,and not for yourself.
ask her she wants to speak about it, and create a safe atmosphere for her to share with you whats happening with her.
if you have no confidence in being emotionally available for your wife suggest professional help for the two of you, and get things sorted.
many men have been let down by their mothers, and have no confidence to share their feelings with partners,and they just shut down become defensive,and aggressive.
have a look at how you are feeling, and try not to be angry with her because she must be experiencing the loss of her sexual appetite.

Answer 2

Women lose interest in sex when they're not getting the prior to sex input/attention they need(and I'm talking helping out, showing an interest having a non-obligatory cuddle here).

If you have a small child then I would imagine she's up to eyes in looking after him, you the home, maybe working too? Perhaps her body shape is different from before kids?

There are all sorts of reasons women go off sex but if you're looking to cheat, and have been considering it for some time then you are giving off those signals to your wife-even if you're not aware of it-so it's not surprising that you're getting the cold shoulder.

If you actually want to work at your relationship then talk to her-without making demands-and go from there. If you don't think you can put in the effort then do yourself, your wife and your child favour and leave.

Answer 3

Yes, there are couples who stay together and don't cheat. But a good marriage is hard to create, and it takes emotional maturity and empathy on the part of both people. The best odds of a marriage lasting (according to sociological studies) are when: 1. The couple has known each other for at least 2 years before moving in together. 2. The couple only moved in together once their wedding date was set, the hall booked, etc., or once they were actually married. 3. Both of them lived on their own for at least 5 years before getting married/moving in together (it's the maturity thing that makes the difference) As far as the odds of a good marriage: - 50% of marriages end in divorce - 12.5% of lasting marriages are unhappy - 25% of lasting marriages are neutral: neither happy nor unhappy - 12.5% of lasting marriage are happy. So don't be in a rush to fall in love and get married. Take your time. Don't get involved with something who is emotionally unstable, selfish, angers easily, blames other people or circumstances for things they do or they way they react, has substance-abuse problems (including alcohol), can't hold down a job, has addictive behaviors (impulsive spending, gambling, etc), has trouble controlling his temper, hits or pushes when he gets mad, is lazy, lies, is not considerate and reliable, and does not keep his word. And pay attention to how his parents treat each other ... if they are still together but treat each other poorly, then this is what your guy learned, and that is the kind of marriage he will end up creating with you (even if it doesn't look like it now). If his parents split up, then he's never had an example of what makes a marriage work. I heartily recommend pre-marriage counseling for couples considering marriage.

Answer 4

why put your wife through the pain you will probably turn your son against you as well have you tried to find out what the problem is with your wife she may just need a little help
and why is it a man needs sex what if it was you with the problem would you then say its OK for your wife to cheat on you

Answer 5

She's playing you like a fiddle. Keep dishing out the money and she'll use it without producing.

She's trying to control you and make you miserable.

Chances are she is getting some on the side if she has no interest in you.

Don't cheat, she will take it all in court. Get a divorce first, and use that as evidence that she will not have sex with you and you will not lose as much, and then you can be free to play the field.

Answer 6

There might be all sorts of reasons why your wife doesn't feel like having sex.
She might find it difficult to snap out of "mummy mode" ,she might feel confused and insecure about her body or her new role in the house, she might have found sex pain full after the birth, she might be emotionally drained looking after your son all day, feel underappreciated... i don't know the circumstances.
One thing i know, if you love her and even if you don't, you never cheat..... this will hurt her so much and very likely completely rob her of her self confidence.
Try talking to her, rekindle romance, finding new sensitive spots on her body etc. It might be even worth to let your son sleep over at "grannies" house, so she can relax without worrying that her child is about to wake up or something.
Good luck

Answer 7

She will certainly not be interested in you ever again if she finds out you have cheated and you risk losing your wife, home and contact with your son.
If you are really not happy in this relationship then I suggest the best thing to do (if you cant sort things out with your wife) is to get a divorce. You cant have your cake and eat it too. Have you even tried talking to your wife about this?

Answer 8

You are a good man for that and I give you credit for being there for your son. I don't thinlk you should let yourself suffer, you should really talk to your wife and see how she feels because two yours and no sex from your wiffe that is pretty strange.

Answer 9

do you love your wife??
if you do , you need to be honest with her and tell her your needs, if she loves you then you may find a way of ressolving the issue. if you do not love her i would not stay together for the sake of your son, you will regret it and he will pick up on any resentment there.
maybe your wife is not happy herself, i would suggest you communicate with her before you go jumping into bed with someone else.

Answer 10

i suggest if your going to cheat get a divorce and spear the wife.