My bf & I are discussing our future plans and he would like to wait for another 6 years before we start a family due to his career (enlisting & training with the air force). I am 30 and he's 29. I already have 2 children from a previous relationship so it wouldn't bother me if I didn't have more children - but he would like a family of his own.
I have tried telling him that not only do the "risks" increase after the age of 35 but I also have other mitigating factors that may hinder my chances of pregnancy especially at that age. In my early 20's I had laser surgery & I had a cone biopsy done to remove precancerous cells from my cervix. I also have only one functioning tube left as one of my tubes was removed after an ectopic pregnancy ruptured. I am trying to convince him that if we wait until HE's ready to start a family, that we may not have very good odds in our favour.
Any help or wise words from women would be greatly appreciated.
2007-01-29 12:25:54 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If he's planning on marrying you, then wouldn't your kids be his "own" family. Not trying to be a b_tch, but that just struck me the wrong way.
2007-01-29 12:32:35 · answer #1 · answered by wendylotr 3 · 1⤊ 4⤋
I was in the same boat as you " will in a way " in Nov. 05 I had had a reversal because I have 2 healthy kids by another relationship and my husband has none. I was 29 when I had it done turned 30 in Nov. Although when I went to get this reversal done they told me that I might have a hard time getting preg, from the one tube because it was cut so short in the first place. Although there are other risks in getting preg. at even that age the doctor told me when I turn 30 it might even be harder to get that way rather than when I was was younger. " almost 9 years ago!" I would suggest IF your hubby REALLY wants a family he would start it now because not only your health is in risk at that time then it will be your babies as well. I was told. So after this pregnancy MAYBE 2 more years down the road I will be on my last baby FOR GOOD! I am now 35 weeks! BEST WISHES
2007-01-29 20:36:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 38 with my second pregnancy. Sure, the chances do increase as you get older, but things can happen at any age. I wouldn't let your age get in the way of a decision to have another baby. I had a perfect pregnancy with my first child at age 32, but because of negligence in the hospital, we ended up having a special needs child. So, anything can happen even when you are healthy. That's just life.
Now with the health issue I'd seek some advice from an OB/GYN or even a fertility specialist if you are concerned with getting pregnant. Be open to what your husband's feelings are. He doesn't have any children so it's a new beginning for him, along with you. Try to compromise about when you and he should start a family. See what happens.
2007-01-29 21:18:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand he wants to have his own children and see a piece of him grow up. And you do sound like your risks are not something to take lightly for you or the future unborn. I would talk to a ob/gyn and discuss the matter with you and him both in the room.
Other than the factors there is something else to consider, if you have the child at 35 when the kid is 20 you will be? when the kid is.... you will be?
I would sit with him and look at all aspects and discuss it. Good luck to you both and the best of wishes.
2007-01-29 20:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by vkewl182 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although the chances of things going wrong go up at age 35, you still have a very good chance of having a normal pregnancy and a normal baby. If he isn't ready, then don't pressure him. You shouldn't be a parent unless you are 100% ready.
2007-01-29 20:30:16 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to take you a bit to concieve as is. Why don't you discuss not actively trying but just going off your birth control and letting nature take it's course. The risks are high once you hit 35 :( and not just for the baby, for you too.... how would he feel if something happened to you or the baby??? Even if it has nothing to do with the fact you waited, it would always be in the back of your mind. I couldn't live with it. I don't know any man who could. If he's not ready now... i donno what to do. But as long as he's really thinking it through first.
2007-01-29 20:31:22 · answer #6 · answered by Gig 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many many women conceive over the age of 35 without problems, me included, but it is wise to let him know how fertility decreases over time. I don't think the other problems you have would change with age. Good luck.
2007-01-29 20:44:53 · answer #7 · answered by kim1234 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋