Dream Life or Dream Wife?

Question

i am 24. I have been together with my girlfriend for many years now, and considering getting engaged soon. However, my entire life i have always wanted to be in law enforcement. But my girl friend says she will not marry me or be with me if I go into law enforcement. So now, im stuck with one or another. Choose what i have alwasy wanted to be, or choose who i always wanted to be with. What do you all think?

She says she's too afriad that i will be putting my life on the line everyday. But also, thats what i want. A lil risk keeps me going, if i work in a routine cubical job, i will die of boredom.

I would never in my life have a baby with an "un-wife" per-say.So no, i dont have a child with. So.....GreaT! haha.

Answer 1

hmmm tuff choice

Answer 2

Have you made a baby with this women? If not, great! Tell her that you are doing your job as a man and end the engagment. You aren't married to her, you aren't even engaged. You have NO obligations to her. If she isn't suuportive of you wanting to do good for your community, then she's not worht marring.

However..if you have made a child together, then you need to suck it up and get a job that doesn't jeapordize your life. You have to think of the childs wellbeing first. And unfortauntly that means (90% of the time!) that you have to get a job you don't like so that there is a roof, food and clothing.

But, assuming you have no children..break it off with her and find a women who will support you in your dreams.

Sorry to be so harsh, but you are a man, you need to think with your head buddy!! :) Good luck! And trust me, there "dream wife" is out there, waiting for her man in blue!!

Answer 3

Your girlfriend is worried that you are going into a dangerous profession that could seriously shorten your life span. With what's going on in the world crime wise, to be a cop is one of the most high risk low paying jobs out there and the brave brave men and women who do it are deserving of great respect. Their spouses, however, take on a lot, most of all not knowing if your husband walks out the door to work and it's the last time you see him. If you plan to have kids, she is worried that they might be orphaned at a young age if you become a cop, and God forbid, get shot.
You see, for her, it's a lot to take on and she does not want to loose you. There might be something else for you to do along these lines, there are other aspect of law enforcement that may not involve you carrying a gun and being on the front lines.
However, if this is your dream and you marry her, take a job you hate, you might resent her for the rest of your life.
This is something that you have to decide on together, before you tie the knot, and hopefully, you can both find a compromise that makes you both happy and fulfilled,
Good Luck.

Answer 4

Don't marry this girl! You will only live to regret it. No woman ever asks a man not to go after his dream (unless it's another woman). I'm sure she uses the excuse "it's not safe". That's lame. 24 is still young-you have so many years ahead of you. Let her know that if she really loves you and wants to be with you that you have made a career decision. She must have known about your career choice years ago, right? This is a selfish and manipulative move on her part. Trust me ! What does she want you to do, flip burgers at McDonald's? Better think about it......

Answer 5

Follow your dreams, find someone that supports you going out there everyday and risking their life. A wife is supposed to be supportive and encouraging of her husband. If she's not supportive now, she definitely won't be in the future. She's selfish. You may want to drop the ball on her and say that you want to follow your dreams and want a woman who will stick by their man's side. I know you've been together many years, but this girl sounds selfish and very immature. There are still good women out there with good morals, and values that will support you. I hope you choose your dreams rather than fantasizing about your girlfriend being your dream wife. People don't change after they say I do, we like to think that but it doesn't happen. Good luck.

Answer 6

Well hun if she is the woman of your dreams she will support your choice of careres if not well maybe she isn't the one.
I can say though it isn't always easy for women to bemarried to someone in law enforcement or the service I have several friends married to both and they struggle all the time with the fear of loosing their husbands to work related issues.

Sooo sorry that you have such a tough choice but ultamately it's yours to make.

Answer 7

It is your daughter, though. I think your wife is baffled that you wouldn't want to see your daughter. I know I would be. Your daughter probably misses you terribly and thinks you abandoned her. It's not likely that you will be able to have a relationship with her when she's 16 because she will resent you. Evil mother or not.

Answer 8

Tough call! Personally, I would choose your girlfriend. True happiness is hard to come by. Hopefully in time, you can work out the law enforcement issue. Is there another field or area of law enforcement that she would feel more comfortable with? One where you are not risking your life? (I'm assuming that is why she is opposed)

Answer 9

She has been honest, so you should try it too. You have had your test period- CONSIDERING???? getting engaged? Ya planning to decide any year soon? Buddy, be a cop. You probably care more about that than being with her, or you'd have decided long before this.

Answer 10

unless you are willing to consider a non dangerous law-related job as a substitute, you would be resenting her lack of support after you are married.

Answer 11

No way dude, don't marry her. She's trying to control you, and once she has this control, you'll never have any self-respect again. No chick is worth this; just remember she'll be flabby and wrinkled within 10-15 years, and no man will give her a second glance.