me and my exwife have been divorced we now thinking about living together as roommates ,but allowing each other to have their own life . we both have other people we are seeing who seem very upset that we are thinking of doing this .we have a son together who loves us both. we are good friends . any advice
2007-01-29 11:37:31 · 18 answers · asked by confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your child and the message you're sending to him is what you should focus on. Do you want him to do the same in his future? There's no telling if he will or won't be in this situation for sure, but what you are telling him for sure is that there is no need for boundaries in his life, not a good idea. Don't forget he's going to be an adult one day, not a doting child for the rest of his life. He can love you both just the same in separate abodes.
You don't need to send another human being into the world with no ability to have a healthy relationship.
2007-01-29 11:58:45 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say its not a healthy step to make. Think of the other people feelings they are the ones emotionally attached to you now . Unless you're doing it for finacial reasons then there has to be boundries as a divorce couple living together you do not cross but its hard and im assuming your son lives with you so its like the family is still together for your son, im sure there are gonna be times when the family is home together and your son needs both parents for some reason and it shouldn't be a power play. he's gonna still want to see unity and are you ready to show him that even thou you are divorce?i know its a state of mind but actions speak louder than words when it come to a family once together then now divorced well good luck and try to keep the arguments to a minimum.because they can recur.
2007-01-29 12:14:53 · answer #2 · answered by bustnloose_2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If living together with your ex is what you both want then go for it. It's good that you both can be good friends after your divorced. It can be the right thing to do for the child. Then both of you can still raise the child together. If the other people that are in both your lifes don't like it then that is their problem.
2007-01-29 12:11:54 · answer #3 · answered by Nancy M. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go for it ... I think this is great:) I wish you teh best and who knows maybe someday you may get back together again.... I am all for it and good luck to you both! I really do not know why people are so upset as this is not their business or their lives... More people should get along and be friends with their exes like you guys are and you are a great example that others should look up to and learn from!
2007-01-29 11:49:50 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't do it. Although you may think you can handle it now, imagine what it would be like to see her with another man. How would you feel if he came over to pick her up, or if she came back in middle of the night, or spent the night with another man? It would drive you crazy.
It would be too tough to have separate lives while living together. Plus, it would confuse your son. It's great that you two get along and are friends, so you should use that to find another way to spend a lot of time with your son.
2007-01-29 12:51:38 · answer #5 · answered by torn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not a good idea if you're thinking of pursuing other dating relationships. I have a good relationship with my former spouse (divorced for 6 years), but I feel it would be in bad taste to ever consider a roommate situation, and I would never date anyone who lived with their ex spouse. I think, most people you meet will feel the same.
2007-01-29 11:44:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It'll never work! Too many complications and temptations in this scenario and it's not fair to put your son in this situation, especially if he's young. He won't understand why mom and dad are divorced, but living together. It's also not fair to your significant others and I completely understand why they're upset that you all are even thinking about this.
2007-01-29 11:59:58 · answer #7 · answered by saylavie2u2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be great for your son, but you are not thinking about the other people involved. If I was dating someone and they were living with their ex, I would say see ya. You two have a past together, a bond.
2007-01-29 12:03:40 · answer #8 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I admit that you two have every right to live as you please, as long as your choices don't harm your child. But, I can't imagine a more bizarre living arrangement. Again, your business, except that there is a child involved. I can't figure out how your relationship would described by one of your son's friends that spent the night. "Billy's mom had a friend spend the night, and Billy's dad watched tv with his girlfriend, and she spent the night too. Sunday morning, I saw Billy's mom's friend kissing Billy's dad's friend. Then we had french toast." Think that would play well? I believe this WOULD harm any child. Are you SURE it wouldn't?
2007-01-29 12:33:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!! How brave and different. My question is why do you want to? Do you need to for financial reasons?
My only concern is that your son doesn't confuse this in his mind as as his parents getting back together.
Personally I think our society is much to uptight...to many rules. This might not work for most, but if it does for you, I say go for it. BUT I would advise that you seek a mediator or some other professional before doing so and setting some boundaries.
Good luck :)
2007-01-29 12:05:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋