Why can't some people get over the fact that unmarried couples can live together and thrive in a relationship?

Question

I don't understand "shacking up". Its a ridiculous term. Are there some people who actually think having a paper saying "WE ARE MARRIED!!!" is a bullet proof vest? I think you have just as much oportunity to be hurt in a relationship (married or not) just as you have as much oppurtunity to be happy...married or not. What is your opinion?

I would like my commitment to be more than an "idea" in my head and print on paper.

LOL I really don't "need" a man for anything. I find myself fortunate that I can support myself and not have to rely on anyone. Being independent is golden.

Of course you can back out, EVEN if your married...its called divorce. I would rather not have to go through that.

Answer 1

Very simple. Nothing ruins a great relationship like marriage.

And misery loves company.

That's why your married friends think your relationship doesn't count. You're happy.

Answer 2

Of course it's not a bullet-proof vest. I agree that there's ample opportunity to get hurt or be happy in any relationship - whether you're married or not. The reason why people care so much whether a couple is married or not has to do more with social reasons than with anything else. In this society, marriage conveys a message that living together doesn't; society doesn't do well with ambiguity - living together is kind of ambiguous, while marriage is less so. It doesn't really have to do with how happy the couple is, and what kind of relationship they have; being that marriage is still a predminant and accepted social "language", those who choose a different way of expressing their committment are not always understood.

Answer 3

People can live togeather without being married and hold
a lasting relationship, however once married a committ-
ment is made to where both parties are committed until
death due them part: Yes a lot of marriage ends up in a
divorce and that is because only one person in the marr-
iage decided to be committed and not the other, the key
is two people have to make the committment for better or
worse, and in a live in relationship of an un-married
couple that committment is not bounded. However to each
his own, I made the committment and so did my wife
that is why we are still togeather after 20yrs of marriage,
again to each his own .

Answer 4

being married (my own definition) means to hold a public celebration in front of friends and family, that you and your boyfriend have made a commitment to each other till death do you part. Have you ever done anything like that with each other? Have you become one with each other? You can actually ask the same question from the other side of things... Whe cant some people get over the fact the married couples and live together and thrive in a relationship?

Answer 5

The Bible says to get married not to live together... Do you ever read a Bible at all... It is called shacking up because there is no commitment or vows behind it and you do not share the same last name... Why not make it official???? It is much more secure and stable for children to have a mom and dad who is married as well.... When you say your vows before God it is much better and my preferred as to just living together.... What kind of commitment is just living together or shacking up anyways? Also the man or the woman who is living together has more reason to cheat or be unfaithful because they are not married.... Makes alot of sense to me.

Answer 6

I am happily married, am 34 and never lived with a man w/o being married. Why would I want a man who is basically telling me "Honey, you are wonderful right now, it is great to save money on rent, it's great to have a better chance of getting laid. I don't know if you are the one so I will just live with you in case some woman who I really love and know I want to spend the rest of my life with comes along. After awhile if I don't find her, I guess I will settle with you and marry you so you will shut up and we will have an even better chance of getting divorced than couples who didn't live together before marriage"-statistically known. Or, five years later when I find out that I deserve better I will move out and be angry that I chose to waste five years of my life with a man who didn't want to marry me.

Answer 7

If you are NOT married then you are NOT fully committed so you will always have an "out." When you are married though, you are totally and fully committed to this one person for the rest of your lives. And yes, at times it sucks, but you work hard.

I have no use for half as*ed ch1kkenshit uncommitted people.

BUCK UP, take the plunge. The water is fine. And if it gets too hot or cold; work together (work hard together) to get it back to a comfortable level.

Answer 8

Well, to me there's nothing wrong if you're happy with it...BUT and this is a big BUT, it still is what it is. Less rights as a common in law spouse, children born out of wedlock are bastards, and I'm calling it out as what it is.

To me, Shacking is the "watered down" version of marriage. If a partner really loves you, they would want to make you a part of their life forever, and not just let you live with them just because (as my husband said to me, he didn't want to "shack" with me, he wanted to share everything in his life with me).

Anyways, it's each individuals call.

Answer 9

i think it's an individual choice. some people are afraid of marriage, some get married and divorced tons of times. it doesn't matter what others think. it's "your" relationship, so what feels right is what needs to be done.

Answer 10

I do not understand why you do not get married?